Hang on for a moment as we wildly steer Maxabellaland into M rated territory. It’s not quite what you think (but then, it never is, is it?)
I’ve been interested recently to see more and more shows of the How to Look Good Naked variety. I’ve never actually watched this particular programme, but I’ve seen a couple of Carson Kressleys and, of course, Trinny and Susannah have made an appearance at some stage. And I have theory. Of course I have a theory. What is life without a theory?
My theory is that I think women often turn themselves off sex.
In my experience, men don’t care how fat or thin or hairy or white or wrinkly or crumply you are. They don’t see the flaws. They’re too busy focusing on the bits that turn them on to worry about the bits that don’t. Got a good arse? That’s what they’re looking at. Pretty eyes? They can’t take their own off them to look elsewhere. Boobs? Just boobs? Utterly mesmerised.
It’s the women who are thinking ‘I don’t look good enough’ and ‘I need to lie this way so he doesn’t see that’. They’re focusing on all the negative bits that they perceive are a turn off to men so… guess what… they actually get turned off themselves!
So, how do you look good naked? You act good naked. You don’t ever talk about your body negatives to your partner, you just talk up the bits you like. I can never get over why women need to obsess over the negatives to their partners. Why does he need to know what you think of your thunder thighs or that you think your stomach is too floppy? All he needs to know is that you have the sexiest boobs / arse / ankles / ears / whatevers in the world. And you’re not afraid to use them.
Then you strut your fine stuff all over the room and you own sexy. There’s absolutely no reason why you’re not as alluring as a picture-perfect model. Sex and nakedness isn’t just about bodies, it’s about suggestion, enticement, yearning, heat, promise… we could go on. Turn onto acting like you look good naked and pretty soon you’ll find that you really, really do. A lot.
* Not my own arse. Mine is twice as wide… but don’t tell LOML that, right?!