The Badoo was really sick last night. It started at around 11pm and went on until just after 3am. Vomiting every ten minutes until she was feebily retching and heaving every ten instead. “I don’t want to do this anymore, mummy,” said my weak little trouper at one point. My heart coiled.
How helpless and worried and pained I felt. And at the back of my mind, just for that one moment, but there: how am I going to manage work tomorrow? What if I need to stay home with her? How inconvenient.
Oh, how I hate it. How I hate myself in those wretched little moments. Fleeting, but slow enough to scar.
[Image via weheartit, please let me know if it’s yours.]
Maxabella says
She woke naturally in the morning at 8 with a smile. She is very tired today, but has been happy and content with Nonno. Random tummy thing revealing loads. x
Felicity says
So pleased to hear that the Badoo is feeling better and that you did managed to scoot off to work too.
Early to bed for all tonight, sweet dreams Sweet Pea,
Felicity x
Life In A Pink Fibro says
Glad to hear that she’s okay. Those little moments are part of every day. Don’t dwell on them. Let them slide fleet-footedly by.
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
oh i’m glad to hear that The Badoo is ok – surely nonna and nonno with find olde worle remedies to entertain her! As for you – i hope your on your 5th coffee or red bull or whatever it takes to get you through the day – and even us non working mothers think about how we are going to cope after the night like you just had xx
LionessLady says
Oh dear Maxabella, dont beat yourself up – we all think these things! Glad to hear she is feeling a little better. š
Jacki says
Don’t feel bad about those thoughts…. it’s the practicality of being a Mum – always thinking ahead.
Jodie at Mummy Mayhem says
Yup. Life is such a balancing act, and I’ve been known to have similar thoughts, then feel terribly guilty afterwards.
Don’t worry, hon. You are not alone!
Glad to hear little Badoo is feeling better today. x
BabyMac says
I love that you wrote it down. Of course we all think these things. ALL of us.
Glad all is well today. Don’t stay too long on this, or beat yourself up, onwards and upwards my friend x
Frog, Goose and Bear says
Poor little thing. It’s awful when you can’t stop their pain. So glad she’s feeling better today. We’ve had a fair bit of Gastro lately and my first thought is slowly becoming – just don’t pass the bug on to me!
Becky says
Poor darling. So glad she’s feeling better today.
We all have those moments and it’s so easy to feel guilty, but we need to give ourselves a break sometimes xo
Holly Ann says
Oh my! I’m so sorry to hear your little one was sick. And I completely understand your feelings as I’ve had them before too. ((Hugs))
Naomi says
Glad to hear she is on the mend.
That wretched bug visited us a week ago, and I had the same thoughts as you. But it’s only natural and does not diminish our love and care for our sick child in the least. It’s just the practicality of being a working parent.
As said above, we need to give ourselves a break sometimes. xxx
Mammamusing says
So glad to hear she is okay this morning.
I can relate. Last night upon seeing a red rash all over Amelie’s arms and legs a thought (and I can’t remember if it was before or after worrying about the rash) was if this is chicken pox how on earth could I call in sick on my first day of my new job.
Yes I felt bad that it was one of my first thoughts.
Cate says
Mums just have to be practical as well. We can be 99% loving, caring, patient, kind, generous and sweet, but that last 1% of our brains has to be practical. That’s all it was – 1% of your thoughts for the whole night just voicing that practical concern.
Don’t dwell on it š
And she’s woken up happy, so that’s what really counts.
xxxCate
Sarah says
Oh the poor little Badoo. Sick little ones = misery all round, and don’t you wish you could just trade places with them, do the vomiting for a while to give them a break?
She’s blessed to have a loving Nonno to look after her when you’re working. Lucky girl.
Hope you’re getting through the day ok, and wishing you a really great night’s sleep tonight!
A Farmer's Wife says
I am a working Mum and I have those thoughts too. Please don’t worry.
Sending e-love to you and the Badoo.
Vanessa says
We have all been there, whether thinking about working the next morning or having to deal with kidlets at home while sleep deprived. Glad she is feeling better.
Naturally Carol says
You’ve nothing to feel guilty about..I think that’s just the practical side of you coming out. It’s hard when you have deadlines and commitments to other people and life doesn’t go according to plan. Any disruption causes a certain amount of chaos! I don’t think it means you love or care for her any less. Just letting you know those thoughts can come to stay at home mums too..I was one..because commitments are still there on most days of the week..to do tuckshop, school reading, organising play group or even just having coffee with someone else.
Tamara says
Oh there is nothing worse than ‘those’ nights. I find myself wondering how I will possibly get through the next day.
Glad Badoo is feeling better!
Happy Thursday xx
Trish@Show and Tell says
As long as she’s feeling better that’s the main thing.
We all have those nights from hell (sometimes days from hell) plus the guilty thoughts that come with them.
Put it behind you. It’s entirely normal.
Big hugs to Badoo (as long as she’s no longer contagious, of course š
Trish
xx
Alice Becomes says
I’ve been there, it’s awful. As working mums we do put the pressure on ourselves to show that we can do both – work and mum, but you do often feel that guilt in the most inappropriate of times, like when your child is sick in the middle of the night…been there.
Happy to hear that The Badoo is better this morning.
My mother in law is always quick to remind me that I am a mum first (my most important job) and a manager second, not he other way around.
Sometimes this helps.
Nic xo
Megan Blandford says
Love your honesty. It’s lucky our kids can’t read our minds, because I think we all have these thoughts at times.
Michelle @ The Crafty Little Fox says
Happy to hear that your little tsunami is feeling better this morning and is back to smiling. Don’t be too hard on yourself you were only thinking of the practicalities of life. I don’t think you loved your little one any less for being sick.
Mama Mogantosh says
Yes, yes, of course we all think these things. Luckily there are honest writers like your good self and forums like this where we can share and confess. And I’m pretty sure that as long as you don’t actually stroke her cheek and croon ‘darling, this is very inconvenient for Mummy…’ you’re doing OK. Glad she’s feeling better.
Donna @ NappyDaze says
Poor little poppet! Isnt it amazing how resilient they are, bouncing back much faster than we do. Beware the bug doesn’t leech onto you next! It took our house hostage the other week and there were no survivors…
And btw, dont feel guilty for your thought – we all have that one pop in our heads when things appear to not go to our plan!
Laura says
I am glad she is feeling better!!..give her lots of kisses!!
Kate says
Hmmm…I was having very similar thoughts at 3am this morning and I stay at home with her anyway…how am I going to be a patient Mama and get everything I need to do done in the morning when I’ve barely slept a wink?…
Miss Pink says
Awwww. I think we all have those selfish moments in times like that. Don’t beat yourself up too much.
hearttypat says
naw.. i know what u mean.. i hate those moments too!! i hope your little darling is feeling better already…
Bek says
Hope she is feeling even betterer (!) tomorrow. And I agree with the others, do be kind to yourself. I know they are not nice thoughts to have, but you are a nice mummy. If you weren’t you wouldn’t care.
Paula (Eggshell Blue) says
I so love your honesty and glad your little girl bounced back x
Mama of 2 boys says
We always beat ourselves up as Mama’s, because no matter how devoted to the cause we are, something will always remind us that we’re only human too, which means we’re going to have needs and wants also. Your thoughts were perfectly normal. But I’m so pleased for you both that things are looking up now. It’s amazing how quickly they seem to bounce back from these maladies. Something like your Badoo endured would knock me out for a week! Hugs :o)
Clea says
Owww, I know how you feel ;( R. has had gastro twice in the last 4 weeks, and through all of that awfulness of not being able to help, I too had a little inward groan about work and coping and what to do the following day. Doesn’t make us bad Mum’s, Maxabella, just busy ones with lots going on.
Glad that little Badoo of yours was feeling better this morning š
Stacia says
Yes, when a little one retches, the mother always, at some point, feels like a wretch. I think that’s a law or something. (And maybe that’s why the words are so almost alike.)
So glad she’s feeling better!
Sarah says
Poor her and poor you. We’ve all thought that at one point. Glad you were honest enough to share it. You’re a fab mama x
fairchildstreet says
parenting and work is tricky at times. Charmaine