So, I’m the fairy.
I realised this because LOML has been making our dinner every night for the past four weeks. He cooks lavish low-fat meals that are special every single night. He plans the meals, buys the groceries and puts the whole thing together without fanfare or complaint.
Now, prior to this he had cooked me dinner approximately two times* and both times the meal featured prawns. Prawns are pretty much the one thing I won’t eat (yick) so the fact that he produced a prawn dish two times reveals just how long it was between meals. Long enough to forget, that’s how long.
I tell you this because it has recently occurred to me that prior to the big diet change, his hidden culinary talents (and it turns out there is lots of talent there) were never called upon. He didn’t cook simply because I always did.
In the same way, he knows how to clean, but doesn’t do it because I always do it. He does do the dishes, the laundry and the ironing (oh yes!), but the rest is left for the cleaning fairy. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a woman will always clean first and clean well. After that, there’s nothing to clean.
He is probably more than capable of organising the kids’ parties, buying the presents, arranging the playdates and packing the school bags as well. But I wouldn’t really know because I’ve never asked him to step in and do those things. It seems I’d rather just whinge occasionally about the burden of domestic thought and get on with it myself.
Whether we acknowledge it or not, we always make our choices.
Every Thursday we go to my parents-in-law for dinner. They make us a beautiful Italian meal and we chat and laugh about the kids and have a lovely time. Then we leave.
Back in the day I used to make an attempt to clear the table and do the dishes, but my MIL always brushed me away: “I’ll do that”. I remember feeling terribly guilty when she first did this years ago, I was happy to help and confused as to why she didn’t want me. Time passed and my offers of help became more and more half-hearted. These days I don’t even bother to get out of my chair.
She’ll do that.
* Note that the ‘Meals LOML Has Cooked’ tally does not include bacon and eggs, omelettes or baked beans on toast.
[Image by Vivienne Love]