So, we have a problem in Maxabellaland. We don’t have a Bad Cop. Instead we have conversations that go a little bit like this…
“Nice work, honey. You were meant to be the Bad Cop in there.”
“Wasn’t I Bad? That was my Bad.”
“Talking about putting on your cranky pants and doing a little jig is not Bad.”
And…
“What happened to Bad Cop back there?”
“I was Good Cop. I thought you were doing Bad Cop.”
“You thought kisses and cuddles and ‘ask your father’ was Bad Cop?”
So. Yes, we have a problem in Maxabellaland.
We’re definitely not the kind of parents who want to be our kids’ friends. Hell no. So we’re ready to step up and be the Bad Cop. It’s just that we’re both so easy going that we just don’t have that overwhelming FINALITY that a good Bad Cop parent has. I remember my dad in ‘hell hath no fury like a father whose children will not get out of bed on time’ mode. Man, that was BAD Cop. When there is absolutely no guarantee that your father isn’t capable of spontaneously combusting and setting you on fire, you do as your told.
Which leaves LOML and I… well, where exactly? We’ve managed to grow these Tsunamis for nearly seven years without a Bad Cop, but we can feel the need growing and growing along with their clever little minds. Without the finality of Bad Cop, we just don’t stand a chance.
[Image via weheartit]
Toni says
No tips whatsoever, sorry. My daughter runs rings around me, and she’s 6. Fabio is the disciplinarian in our household, but frequently he’s so (unintentionally) funny when he’s going crook that I have to run out of the room so I don’t laugh and spoil the atmosphere.
Miss Pink says
No idea’s. Sorry i suck there.
But in our house i am both good and bad cop. Mr Black is just…neutral. My kids fear my wrath (har har har, they literally jump or cry with just a glare, and i promise i am NOT that bad, i just give stern talking too’s and follow through with threats for certain behaviours/actions) and yet they constantly seek my love, affection and approval. Which they get often! I kinda like that i am both listened to with a good amount of fear, but adored.
MomAgain@40 says
Funny! Maybe you should get a sign for the Bad Cop? Work on a script as well! How is the Bad Cop going to finish off the “wrong-doers”?
Good luck! let us know how you are dealing with the Cop problem… 😉
Life In A Pink Fibro says
Lot of bad cops around here. Lotta bad cops. We’ll lend you one.
Becky says
Wish I could help… but I can’t! We don’t really have a Bad Cop, either. Although, if we did it would be James. Maybe it’s the follow through of the Bad Cop that we don’t have here..
Cate says
Oh no probs finding a bad cop at my place! After all, I have to round up year 6 boys from across the oval…I have a *very* loud and *very* scary voice (when I need it!) – but I do try to bring it out only on rare occasions…it’s so much more effective that way 🙂
xxxCate
Lucy says
I am meany mummy baddy copper cranky mumma.
“Not acceptable not negotiable and I am not kidding and no do not try and charm me I am deadly serious….”
Meanie me.
xx
Tas says
No advice here. It seems to come instinctively to me…probably a culmination of 7 years of sleep deprivation and the fact that we worked out when number 3 was born that we were outnumbered. If we lose the upper hand, we are doomed.
I'm So Fancy says
hire someone! Just make sure you are very clear with the company that you want a bad cop. Not a stripper in cop’s clothing..That could really shake things up.
Glen says
we have two bad cops here – we need a good one.
How about a partner swap for a month? Mind you, my wife will do her nut in when she comes home to find the state me and your fella have left our house in…
Or did I just get that all wrong?
Wanderlust says
Cracking up at Glen’s comment!
My husband was the bad cop. So now that it’s just me I have to be both, which is tough. I just have to know when enough is enough and it’s time to put on my cop hat!
Deer Baby says
Stand in front of the mirror, and practice saying ‘Hey – you lookin’ at me? You looki’ at me?’
Oops. Sorry. Wrong film.
No advice here – when you find out, let me know won’t you?
Posie Patchwork says
As long as you’re consistent, the children will know their boundaries. I have to be mulitpurpose cop as I’m on my own 90% of the time – managing 3 tween girls & all their ups & downs, challenges & emotions + a cyclone of a 7 y.o. boy with his energy. I do, at times, say “mummy has to think about this, you’re still in some form of trouble, i just need a moment to get it right” . . . at least i don’t over react or say something i’ll regret, it’s like putting them on pause while i catch up with the situation, as i have so much going on. Then when Drill Sergeant Dad comes home, they practically march around with complete order & control, it’s very Von Trapp but obviously, not all the time. I’m not trying to be a hero, just have consistency & calm. Love Posie
Mrs Woog says
I am bad Mr W is good. Although I am mainly good, sometimes I have to unleash my inner screechy feral mum on those bad-asses. And if done swiftly it has sustaining results.
Jane@flightplatformliving says
im reading a great book at the moment called, how to talk to kids so they will listen and listen to kids so they will talk…got some great stuff in there. my 3 year old already needs a bad cop and although i can do bad cop quite well she doesnt really care! oooooo help me! so am buying books now!! i will post again when i have read the others i have ordered! however i think doing a jig in cranky pants is a pearl of parenting wisdom certainly not to be sniffed at…i suggest you both buy some superbly ‘cool’ 70’s trousers and dance in them infront of your kids friends every time they need ‘guidance’ the threat of that would surely work a treat especially as they get older!lolxxxx
Miss Kitty-Cat says
No help from me. We can’t even keep our cats in line. We are so screwed when we have this baby. Fingers crossed it likes good cops!
My Mum was a good Bad Cop. Scary as when she wanted to be. Still is, frankly…
I do like the idea of cranky pants!!
Sarah says
It’s a fluid thing in our house and it depends on the “crime.” I don’t like the idea of always being the bad cop and neither does my husband. Mainly because my mum was BC as I grew up and his dad was the BC in their household. I have however got the “death stare” down to a fine art after years of teaching teenagers. That’s always been an excellent fallback.
Jodi Gibson says
Oh dear. I am always the bad cop, not that it makes much difference. Although when hubby has to be the bad cop, boy do they listen! To come to think of it the dog is the same too. mmmmm, must revise my bad cop strategy! Let us know how you go.
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Alice Becomes says
i am the Bad Cop so far, but I think my kids are still too little to need a really really bad cop
So no brilliant advice from me, I am afraid – instead I will watch how you figure it out. And then copy your every move!
Gill xo
Naturally Carol says
I think there are too many problems in the world from people only too willing to play ‘really bad bad cop’. I think you’re georgeous in your approach, I am sure that when there is a final line drawn the kids understand!
Christie - Childhood 101 says
No real bad cop here either. Though as a result Immy does now know when one of us really means business and the firm voice comes out 😮 Good luck!
Kymmie says
Oh, you two are just gorgeous. I love it. And I bet your kids love it more. But always remember, the good cop will always be the bad cop, because the gooder cop is better.
Did you get that? xx
Salamander says
I’m with Cate – when you have to maintain authority across a school oval, the bad cop voice comes naturally!!! I feel sorry for our kids – not only do they have two teachers for parents (which automatically makes us bad cop-bad cop), but we take it in turns being bad cop because we’re a bit too good at it…my husband actually secretly loves being bad cop. I find bluffing helps? Pretend you’re angry. And then run from the room before you laugh! xxx
PartlySunny says
If you’ve figured out a way to raise your kids and get them to do what they’re supposed to without ever opening up a can of whup ass, then more power to you. But if they’re currently walking all over you and you’re chalking it up to “cute,” all I can say is, the teenage years are gonna be. . . exciting. If I sound kind of snarky, it’s because I spent an hour dealing with my unruly nephew yesterday. He’s 4 and refused to wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Everyone else lets him get away with everything except my husband and me (we NEVER lose when it comes to an argument with kids). So he ended up washing his hands — after a very, very long tantrum.