The other night, my post was so offensive I lost five followers.
Yes, five people chose to leave my accidental-cult of followers* after revelations that my husband’s Italian family were… a lovely, warm family.**
Hmmmmm…. that can’t be right.
Of course it isn’t. Followers drop off and join in on this blog all the time. Except for the fact that five abruptly exited at once, I may not have even noticed.***
But I remember the first time I ‘lost’ a follower, I was mortified – why would someone want to unfollow me. Was it something I said? Was I not fun enough? Was I, gasp, boring?
Oh, fickle followers, I thought. But I know different now.
Followers come and followers go, such is the merry roundabout of blogging life. New faces in, some faces lost. A little trace left behind or none whatsoever. There are so many so fabulous blogs out there (my latest ‘must read – at least whenever I can’ is Emily over at The Beetle Shack) that it’s really, really hard not to let the eye wander off to landscapes new. It’s hard to choose the blogs that you’ll follow and stick with.
And how marvellous is that!
* Seriously, since when were the David Koreshs of the world involved in internet platform development?
** What is even more of a shame is that I named the post ‘part one’, indicating that I’m going in for another round soonest.
*** This is a lie.
[Follow Me tights from here are actually Twitter tights, but still…]
Jane says
Whenever I lose a blog or Twitter follower, there’s always a moment of, “oh…oh, OK… was it something I said?????”. After a while though, that feeling passes and I realise that it’s no big deal. You’re right – like everything in life, things come and go. Blog followers are no different xxx
Cate says
I do think it’s funny that you noticed when you have like a gazzion followers! I do notice only because I’m so close to 200 and I keep going 1 forward 1 back. But heh that’s life!!
I do get a bit annoyed if someone follows me and then I follow back and then they unfollow me right away – it’s a bit obvious then they were only doing it to get numbers up on their blog…which is just weird – but then I think I’ve discovered the internet is a bit weird anyway sometimes!!
Well you know who your real friends are if they still like you after revealing that you like your inlaws!
xxxCate
Georgi Hampton says
yes I lost a follower, it was really sad! I have a much smaller number of followers so it was really noticed.. although then I thought if they’re not interested then that’s their prerogative ..
my recent post http://a-pastiche.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-offer-you-my-word-on-wing.html
Katy says
I loose people all the time! That post makes me love you even more!!! I am a shocking Italianphile (when you read Mezza Italiana you’ll know why I identify with the husband) xxx
Mrs Woog says
Nearly every day!
Tas says
Oh gosh. And I missed that post. I’ve read it now. Is this where I press the “unfollow” button? I have lost a couple along the way. One who is a dear real life friend who just isn’t crafty. That puts it into perspective lol. I am fabulous, interesting, funny and
altogether gorgeous. So it is their loss (said tongue firmly in cheek, she explains lest someone reads this and thinks me arrogant and crosses me off their Christmas card list too)
Deb says
What is it with followers? I just don’t get it, it’s two steps forward, and one step back. I don’t believe there is any logic to it. Anyway at last count you still have 973 of us that love you xxx
Mum on the Run says
Hee hee.
Beautiful timing – I was just wondering who it was I offended so much that they unfollowed!
Probably with all my marathon crapping on. Or is it my one child? Or am I too self obsessed for them?…
Thank you.
For what it’s worth – I wasn’t at all offended. I’ve a couple of girlfriends with a similar ‘situation’ and it’s a common discussion point.
:-)))
CurlyPops says
I often see people blog or tweet about this issue. I don’t take any ntoice. I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head how many people follow me, and I wouldn’t notice if anyone joined or dropped off.
I’d be happy if just one person wanted to read my blatherings and look at what I make!
The Beetle Shack says
wow lady, I am completely honoured that you would read my blog let alone mention it on yours!! You are wonderful and you won’t be losing me as a faithful follower any time soon!
xo em
Kate says
One upon a time I did one of those ‘if you follow my blog then you can enter my giveaway’ giveaways. i think about forty joined up over the next few days. Now when ever I lose a follower I just assume its one of them. Later dudes.
Lauren says
yeah firstly the tights are fantastic! Ha secondly I had a few people un follow me and I only have a few so I really noticed and I was a bit sad but then I had a few new people follow me in the next few weeks…joining in with your gratefuls has helped me find new blogs to follow and I have received new follows too!…beetle shack is one of my faves too!
Thirdly the post in which you think you might have lost the followers I completely understand and agree with you! Although I have found myself falling into the trap to clean up before people come over… particularly if they staying because otherwise they wouldn’t get to the bed in the spare room! Ha thanks for the dose of honesty!
Andrea says
Given I have few followers – I would definately notice. It’s a strange thing this blogosphere – keeping up with so much inspiration, so many lives, so many stories. It can be overwhelming. Can’t understand why anyone would ‘unfollow’ though. Unless they were doing something akin to the ‘facebook cull’.
Alice Becomes says
I used to care more. Not such a big deal now. Especially as we seem to end up with followers who never seem to read or comment. Ever. I don’t mind not commenting but if they are never reading, what’s the point? I would care if we lost a follower who we feel connected with though! Gill xo
Miss Pink says
I’m a fussy follower. If I don’t feel like I am wanting to read someone’s posts often, or if I scroll down my list and don’t recognise a name then I usually stop following after a bit.
I would love to follow many blogs, I truly would, but i’m more of a close circle kind of girl, where i’d rather have the time to comment on most, if not all, of someone i’m followings entries, rather than having to not comment because I only have time to read.
It may seem mean, and it’s not intended that way, and if I do get several comments, or consistent comments from someone I definitely make the effort more than someone who comments once off and then disappears. I’d rather not have to scroll through a big list of blog updates to find my faves or for names I recognise, or something that frightens me, having to miss out on reading those blogs because i’ve spent all my time going through the one’s that I never clicked with or that never bothered with me.
Teresa says
I’m still at the very early stages of my blog that I am only now just starting to gather followers that aren’t related to me…gulp…after reading your post…I’m not sure I’m cut out for ‘unfollowing’!
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
isn’t that funny that i loved that post and so glad that you put Part One and the other day I was wondering when the next intallment was due – perhaps never now! oh dear, such a shame. i love a follower the other day! i thought that it was strange….but then again, sometimes people need to cull, and for some odd reason we are on the chopping block! Head up gorgeous one, your blog rocks and you’ve got oodles of fans out there!!
xx
Diminishing Lucy says
I found out the other day that Blogger only lets you follow a certain amount of blogs. 500, I think.
I have been blogging for nearky 10 years – so you can only imagine how many blogs I have racked up to follow in that time…so frustrating to have to “unfollow” some to be able to follow new ones.
BUT, now when I lose followers (usually after a rant…) I tell myself ifs my old old followers. They still read and comment, but the just get jacked off with the silly Google Friend Follower ugly thingo….
xx
MultipleMum says
I admit it. It was me. And Life in a Pink Fibro. Mum, Dad and your brother too. You are dropped! Tee he! x
Newmumma says
Like some of the other girls have said – being relatively new to blogging if I lose a follower it is awful! there aren’t that many there yet 😉 But having said that I try not to over think it. Like me, people are pressed for time. It’s hard to find time to read all the fantastic blogs out there!!
xx
Amy xxoo says
I lost a follower this week too, but then gained 3 in the nxt few days… so i’m thinking it probably WAS something i said, but that more people liked it than disliked it!
Maxabella says
Are you kidding, Bren? OF COURSE I’m doing Part Two! And maybe Three and Four and… xxx
1000 Homes of Happiness says
ahhh, the sometimes fickle world of blogging. I must admit I am not the best at following other blogs. I have my favourites and tend to keep them close to my heart.
xoxo
Cat from Raspberry Rainbow says
I lost one recently, and at first felt hurt, but told myself to get over it, we all change what we like to read. I have been thinking of culling my reading list as a few I follow I am not into much anymore.
Very interesting what Lucy said, that you can only follow 500 or so.
neesay says
Ahh to have the luxury of followers to lose! 😉
Michele says
Hmmm this is a tough one – I have just starting the process of cutting down my list (“culling” sounds so harsh…pruning perhaps???) as with several hundred blogs in my reader I just can not keep up. Even with skimming over them and missing some it was becoming far too time consuming. A nice way to pass the time with husband often away and not a lot on TV and quiet once the kids in bed. But just couldnt keep up with it and just not enough time for everything else like cleaning the kitchen and preparing for work/school stuff, reading great big novels or sewing or other projects that I actually want to DO not just read blogs about others doing or ummm yeah sleeping. More sleep would be nice. So as difficult as it is I have made myself go through and try and keep only the ones that I have either followed for a long time and still love or that really grab me – the ones I would miss if I didnt get my fix of. And I am trying to be harsh about it otherwise I would still have 100s to read. Was trying to limit it to some magic number like 25?! (down from 300ish) but yeah thats proving kinda difficult (addicted much?). Trouble is there is always so many other lovely ones to fill the gap (great…another one… Beetle Shack ohh yeah looks lovely should I take a look hmmm yes of course I will). Its neverending! No offence meant by unfollowing any blogs at all, I didnt even think that blog authors would notice me just one little follower – slipping out the back door. Maybe its as my blog is not exactly hugely followed (um 4 I think?) so I couldnt give a rats about numbers. It is always interesting to find out how someone came to your blog and why but beyond that I write it for me not to see how many ppl follow it. I guess my point of this long ramble is that sometimes it really is a case of its not you its me! Now – off to unfollow some more blogs (sorry!)and try and do so without feeling so darn guilty. Its a matter of having to.
**Anne** says
I’ve lost a few followers now and then but that’s o.k. with me. I’d rather people follow me because they like what’s on offer rather than just to be polite. I prefer honesty rather than illusion.
Anne xx
therhythmmethod says
It’s all swings and roundabouts. I think we’re all a little in awe by your astronomical numbers.
My subscribers (I don’t have followers, I’m on WordPress) are modest in number. I notice when someone leaves the table, but the party still goes on regardless. Swings and roundabouts. It’s a big old www out there. Plenty more like-minded people to befriend.
Virginia says
Oh well, you might have lost a couple, but you gained me! Alas I don’t have a blog (yet), but I’m enjoying reading what you have to say! Vx
ms. freelancer says
i have read this post more than onces. yet, i still can’t figure out why losing a follower is that easy?
but i realized that we bloggers must go back to our first reason why we made a blog. it’s for own. it’s a therapy, a source of joy. pleasing readers is a plus but feeling the joy when writing is the topmost priority. =)
Mama of 2 boys says
Oh dear, it kind of crushes me and I have only lost one, but it felt horrible. It still does thinking about it. I am a battler in the follower stakes, I treasure every one of my small list. I think I just need to grow a pair and not take it personally, even if the whole compliment decide to unfollow me one day. I’ll just keep writing away regardless.
Abbie says
I am relatively new to the blog world.
I do look to see who is following me.
Thanks for letting me know I am not alone, when I lose followers.
I have to remember I am writing for my purpose not so I can keep followers
Hi I'm Rhonda. says
I used to be mortified when someone unfollowed me and I have under 100 followers so it’s easy to keep track. I also know that I have quite a few readers who are not signed up with google, but they regularly comment or email to me via facebook or wherever to let me know what they thought of my latest post. I just figure I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay.
Catherine says
As I’ve just barely broken into double digits I do notice if someone leaves. It’s only happened once so far but it was a bit odd. Person started following me then I got an email from another person telling me that the follower was a con artist and that they would scam me out of money- which I didn’t get as I’m not following them???. Anyway, 2 days late they were gone and when I went to check their blog it had been removed. Still don’t quite get it but it’s all good with me!
june at noon says
I always wonder why people have public anxiety attacks on FB and Twitter about losing followers. It’s almost like they’re hoping the “exit-ers” will offer an explanation if they’re called out. It’s just how it goes–my interests change, my time limits change, and so do my follow lists along with them. I expect the same for me and my blog followers, too. It’s much easier to realize that from the start, isn’t it? 😉
Simoney says
I have just gone and re-read your Italian family post TWICE (in case I missed the offesnive bits) and couldn’t find anything in there that would put someone off and make them un-follow.
Five in one go!! That IS wierd… probably some flukish coincidence, like it was a meeting of bloggers anonymous in their area and they all decided that for the sake of their marriages and their kids brain development they all needed to delete their blogs and their google profiles.
I’m sure that was it.
That’s what I tell myself when it happens to me.
After i uncurl myself form my fetal position, wipe away my tears and rejoin the world after a few minutes (?) of “WHAT DID I DOOOOO??? Don’t they LIKE me?????”
LOL
And just think Ms Maxabel, 5 leetle followers in the sea of so many die-hard fans… you ARE loved by so many!!
Notchka says
Yeah I lost a few followers around the time I started harping on about earthquakes more than craft. At the time I thought – ‘how rude, this is such a huge thing in my life right now’. It’s just made me realise my motivations are different from my readers in some respects and yay for diversity. But its my dang blog and I shall talk about what I want! So there.
Vanessa says
Can you please give me a run down on the purpose of having followers? I have followed a few people, is there somehow I can keep track of who I follow? Obviously you are able to see who follows you. Does it have a useful purpose, or is it just a bit like Facebook in that it is an indicator of ‘popularity’? Genuine questions from someone who doesn’t understand this part of blogging.
Jodie Ansted says
Right in the beginning, if I lost ONE follower on Twitter or my blog, I’d try to track down who it was.
Pfft.
I couldn’t even tell you exact amount of followers without checking. Sometimes people update profiles and delete, start new ones etc, so it doesn’t even have anything to do with you.
I wouldn’t want someone to follow me because they felt they had to, so I’m totally cool with it.
Of course, if 20 suddenly left…I’d be a bit concerned I guess!!!
🙂
Renee says
Oh – I’m sure noone would intentionally unfollow you – perhaps it was some kind of strange phenomenon? A natural disaster of sorts? A strange cult who decided to mass exit blogland?
I’m still super psyched about the fact 51 people are interested (or at some point have been) enough in what I have to say that they have signed up to be ‘followers’ – WOW!
No doubt I’ll feel hugely hurt and crappy when the day comes that I LOSE followers – EEEK!
I wouldn’t care too much – I’m still here following you! 😉 xx
Britt @ absolute alaia says
I’m quite a sensitive person so at the beginning I would get so upset I’d nearly lose sleep over the whole thing but now I think “meh, their loss”. Regarding your post though, I was laughing while reading and nodding the whole time. I’m married to a Spanish/Italian and trust me I understood everything and more!
thesoundandthefury says
I used to be bothered by it on Facebook as to why people would all of a sudden de-friend you (or should that be un-friend?). Now it doesn’t bother me.
I’d be more bothered by it on my blog, which only has a scant 6 subscribers. How did you end up with so many loyal followers, Maxabella?
Maxabella says
Hi Vanessa – ‘Followers’ are the same as ‘Subscribers’ on other blogger platforms (I know you use wordpress). You follow blogs you want to keep in touch with and you can keep updated in readers like Google Reader (blogger also has it’s own in the Dashboard) when the blog you follow has a new post.
I guess having the number of followers broadcasted on your sidebar like that does look a bit ‘popularity’ contest, but Blogger doesn’t make it easy for people to follow a blog without the button and I’ve never figured out how to have the button without the follower number. If anyone knows? I would like to keep the little faces, I love the little faces, but the number isn’t really important. We only ever really need an audience of three, don’t we? Three being a crowd and all that.
Only because, and in answer to Dave‘s question, I don’t honestly know how I came to have so many loyal followers but I do know that it means a great deal to me that so many people seem to like what I’m up to. I don’t need to shout about that, but quietly I am very, very grateful. x
Maxabella says
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maxabella says
I can’t believe I just wrote ‘it’s own’. Oh my. That’s one of my all time pet grammar hates and I’m doing it myself now on my own blog. Sorry about that… um, me. x
Naturally Carol says
My follower number has gone a bit up and down recently..lose one, gain one, lose one, gain two type of thing. I wonder why, then thing about why I started this..yes I like to have friends but I wanted to blog to share my journey in life and that entails being true to myself first of all. I can’t be authentic to others without integrity. Being true to my own beliefs will inevitably mean someone will be offended with them sooner or later! Secondly, I would like the free will of being able to discontinue following anyone if I choose to for whatever reason..so will extend that to others without reproach.
bakeoutwest says
Hi Maxabella,
I’m trying to follow you as I’ve been reading your inspiring posts for a while now. But alas the computer won’t play today. So sometime soon I’ll be following you!
Kymmie says
Oh my! Five followers! They must hate in-law lovers… or something.
I think I’d rather have 30 followers who commented and read my stuff and I loved them as much as they loved me. I confess it use to be about the numbers, but now I don’t seem to notice.
Oh, the other day I thought I lost one, but now I’m not so sure. See? I obviously don’t care one teeny bit! And I realise I’m okay with that.
But I do love YOU. and every. single. post. you do.
You’d have to do something awfully awful for me to unfollow you (besides, I don’t actually know how to ‘unfollow’). You’re safe with me 😉 xx
harmony and rosie says
Oh thank goodness I’m not the only one, this post has given my self esteem a good boost!!!
(still following !)
Mrs BC says
I lost 2 followers recently when I mentioned that I was pagan. I was crushed, but quickly rebounded. I mean, fuck it, you know? My blog is just me talking about me. I didn’t start blogging to win a popularity contest, so I am not about to censor myself to keep readers. I am trusting that I will find my tribe of true like minded friends in the blogiverse. I have not unfollowed anyone, but shhhhh – I don’t always read everyone’s blog.
Miss Nancy Pants says
..I’m pretty new to blogging, at least doing it consistently, ..I’ve done it on and off for 2 years, but I’m enjoying the frequencyt of it lately. I’m in the middle of a huge international move, so it keeps me calm and sane to write at this time. I’m at the stage where I’m trying to figure out how to get more exposure, ..it’s a bit intimidating with so many amazing bloggers out there, though, ..but I’m enjoying it and hope others, even if just a few follow, stick around, but at the end of the day, it’s my space and as long as I am mindful, candid, and respectful in my blogging, I feel good about what I put out there and wouldn’t be too upset if some drop off or unfollow as they say in the blog world! 😉 ..love your blog, it is lovely and inspiring!
Cathy says
lol i hope i don’t lose any because at the moment i don’t have that many 🙂 if they are going to wander off, they would be best to do it whilst lots of followers were present so as not to make it obvious :p