I know the thought of working outside the home terrifies some mothers, but the thought of not working terrifies me more.
I’ve had a job of one kind or another since I was 13 years old and working for someone defines me in so many ways. After twenty years, the rhythm and jolt of corporate life is as much a part of me as anything else. I may rally daily against the bitter politics, the needless to-ing and fro-ing and the egos (oh, the egos!), but I work hard and smart and… it suits me.
Despite appearances, I am a low-risk, security-craving kind of a person and although many people encourage me to get out there and work for myself, that is surely the most terrifying thing of all. To be honest, after so many years in corporate life, in my heart I simply believe I have nowhere else to go.
But, I’m ‘better’ this year, remember? I’m better. And for many years I’ve craved… something more. I’ve felt wasted and I’ve wanted to get out of big corporate life and do… something else. What and how and where and when, I do not know. But this year I’m at least going to find the courage to think about the possibilities and explore some options.
Thinking can’t shake me too much, can it? So what have I got to lose? Oh, please, don’t answer that!
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
bron, I am shivering with goose bumbs all over reading your post from go to woe! what a wonderful thought! I also agree with you…work can be such a defining aspect of our lives. I struggled out of work for 18 months after my son was born that i found away back in that could keep me mostly at home. It was my husband though that was in the cage…..his struggles were my struggles. He simply could not work for anyone anymore and 3 months after our daughter was born, he quit his job started his own business and worked from our spare room every day until he could rent his own office space. To say it was hard is the understatement of our lives, but I knew he had to do it. Him and his best friend who is his business partner work side by side and love what they do. They say they don’t work as they love what they do….the change in my husband has been extraordinary too. It takes a strong will and determination to do it. I am simply in awe of what my husband has been able to achieve. Bron, from what I know of you…i get the feeling that if you put your mind to it, you could achieve extraordinary things.
This year could be your year!
xx
Cathy says
I long to go back to work as well some days, but lots of different obstacles. Sometimes wish I could stroll back in to the classroom and pick up where I left off. Don’t know what my future holds…
Miss Kitty-Cat says
Interesting post. I’m struggling with this conundrum at the moment. I’ve had a job working for someone else ever since I was 12. And now I’m a Mummy. I was at Mother’s group the other day and everyone was talking about when they are going back to work and, well, I’m not. And that terrifies me. We’re fine financially for me not to work but I’ve never not done it and it’s scary. I’m not sure I am motivated enough to work for myself… Dilemma.
K xx
Karla {Ironmum Karla} says
Our ‘job’ totally defines our identity in a sense. Without it we can loose our purpose and that is a scary thought…I honestly dont think you can see what is around the corner until you put yourself in the position. Great piece!x
Karla {Ironmum Karla} says
lose not ‘loose’ by the way!;)
therhythmmethod says
I like security too, and working hard is part of my nature. That said, corporate life took too much out of me and never gave back. Plus, time spent commuting to and from work seemed like a complete waste of life, and meant I only lived my life on the weekends. I couldn’t face living a life like that, so when I fell pregnant with no. 2, we decided I would stay at home.
My husband will this year quit his job and take the leap to run his own business (he’s been running it while also holding down a full time corporate job). We are terrified because we will no longer have the monthly wage coming in, and I don’t earn money so … eek! It is a huge, terrifying leap, but what we lose in security we gain in him being more present for the kids. At present he only sees them for 1 hour each weekday. When he works from home he will be around all the time.
And yes, thinking is free! The scary part comes when you realise you want to make a drastic change. You’ll be great, no matter what you do. x
Jen R says
I broke out of my cage 6 months ago and am flyin free….fantastic feelin π
Lyndal says
one step at a time… esp when its new and scary.
but you totally have strength. and courage. and the ability to take one step and find your feet…
wherever those steps may take you.
soniaandfred says
I’m not a mum, but I am smack bang in the middle of 2 careers right now. I’ve been a violinist since I was 9, and a professional violinist since I was 19. (that’s 16 years folks!) It is all I’d ever known. From time to time, when stress overwhelmed me, I “thought” about other options, but none ever stacked up to playing violin.
Then a number of things happened in the past couple of years, and here I am, at the age of 35, nearly 1 month into a job as a carer in a nursing home, and about 6 weeks out of going back to uni to study nursing.
Scary, but oh so exciting!
Keep thinking… π
Life In A Pink Fibro says
Unlock it and throw away the key. It’s the only way forward. Come on. It’s nice out here.
sarah says
the thing Im struggling with is not the change or the shift but the part of my identity that I fear losing if I moved away from the public service sphere…when my life was topsy turvy I always had work as my constant, when I didnt want to talk about ME I could talk about work ME…the idea of not having that makes my chest tight but one day Ill spread my wings – just have to get a gentle prod! x
LionessLady says
I hadn’t worked for almost 7 years until just before Christmas when I got (very gently and slowly) back into it. I have found it a most pleasant experience so far. I would love to go back to teaching small people but cant get my head around how that would work. There are so many different stages in our life and I think, in the end, you have to do what works well for you and you must LOVE what you do! If not, then (thinking about) making changes is the way to go Bron!
Nat - Muddy Farmwife says
I too would be lost without work. It gives me a purpose and a world that is just for me, not hubby and kids as well.
I look forward to the day I can unlock the cage and work for myself, but it is a few years away yet, the security of being an employee is kind of handy right now, annoying but handy!
You can do it, the first step is always the hardest.
Tammi says
I have not worked in a ‘proper’ job since I was 19 and had our oldest…that’s 20 years ago. The thought of returning to the work force at some point in the future scares the living daylight out of me. For now I am happy to spend my days at home and will deal with whatever comes in the future when and if it happens.
Good luck to unlocking that cage Bron and being free.
x
Kelly Exeter says
Oh wow – that’s some big thoughts you’re thinking there Bron!!
Part of me is screaming “NO – DON’T DO IT” … but that’s the part of me that ran a business like I was Oprah – in a position to give and give and give. Not surprisingly I ‘gave’ myself into a giant black hole.
But I am out of the hole now and can confidently say that you would be smarter than me π So go YOU! You are such a creative soul … the options are endless.
Or maybe that’s the problem π
Salamander says
Oh Maxabella, the questions you ask resonate so strongly. It is so scary. I’d love to tell you my little children’s art business is flying and I don’t need to work to support us…but I can’t. Will there ever be a day when I can leave the classroom and just do Jitterbug? I don’t know. What’s scarier still, is that we need my teaching wage to survive…and I don’t have a job for this year. I had one…long story short, if your school has too many teachers, the last one in is the first one out. And it was too late to find another one. So here I am, with a fledgling business that is still finding its’ feet, and the prospect of emergency teaching every single day until something comes along. Yeuch. Good luck, my friend. I’ll be thinking of you! xxx
katiecrackernuts says
If the key’s in your hand, you just need to find the door. Good luck and I look forward to reading more of what it is you’re searching for.
Mum on the Run says
Good on you.
Tentative steps are still steps.
I love what working part time brings to my week, my family and my sanity.
But I too have some long held dreams of breaking the mould career wise.
Time (and drive) will tell.
π
Kate Sins says
You have nothing to lose because the ‘things’ that could be lost (besides money) are not things at all.
Just think about it for now. No need to act. Germinate the seed. Come back in a month and see where it is.
Thinking about it is already ‘better’.
I’m the worst person to ask-my favourite thing to do is take a flying leap with no thought about what’s next and hope my umbrella is strong enough that it doesn’t turn inside out.
Dorothy Krajewski says
At the moment I’m not sure what is more terrifying, flying free as I am now, with no security, no safety net, no income, or going back to the corporate rat race. At first it was a case of the devil you know, but the devil began to eat my soul again. I am very fond of my soul.
Good luck with your deliberations. I’m sure if you listen to your heart and gut, they will tell you what to do…
Emma M says
I have been out of the workforce for 9 years and I’ve loved being a sahm for the most part. The only thing is, I’ve lost who I am. Although I have this overwhelming desire to find myself again, my lack of confidence and self belief is one big hurdle. 2012 will be my year though, I can just feel it. π
Cat says
I totally understand what you’re saying Bron, as I do most of the time! I gave up corporate life to study full time and never quite went back to a proper corporate life thereafter though I did work just not the formal stuff of banking like I did before. When I had Bebito I had no job to return to and I went to interviews for various roles and turned all the jobs I was offered down. They didn’t feel right at all and then I got a call from a former colleague offering me lecturing work in my field. I really like it and the work fits so well with family life. I really hope they have a spot for me still when I’m ready to return in July. I tell you this because I too crave security and safety but I also follow my gut instinct on if something is right for me. When I know it’s not right I hate the idea of spending a minute longer than I have to doing it. You can be brave if I can! It WILL be better outside the “cage” & you have a whole lot of people cheering for you no matter what you decide. Xx
Lib says
Well you know I’m just one step ahead of you – currently perched on the outside of the cage…feeling the unfettered wind on my face and questioning if it would be safer to step back inside that secure enclosure:)
Good on you for considering it though!!
Farmers Wifey says
I hope you find the right path just for you..I’ve had 10 years as a stay at home mum, and I loved it. The thought of going back to work really scared me…I couldn’t remember how to talk to people.
I now work part time, and I love it…I can get my brain working again, I know that is a cliche but I really had baby brain there for a while..I have the best of both worlds, I hope you can find the right lifestep just for you xx
Mama of 2 boys says
I worked in the corporate world for 12.5 years… right up until November last year, when my role was made redundant. For about the last 4 of those years, I was there, but not really there. I definitely felt trapped. I think I am done with that world for a while… maybe forever. It’s a little soul destroying in my opinion. But I do agree, it’s a low risk and safe existence, well until redundancy comes into play of course.
I have no doubt your dreams and aspirations will fall into place, when the time is right and I’m sure you won’t look back either.
Miss Mandy says
I’m feeling very very trapped. I’ve been in my corporate job for 11 years. I stayed because it offered part time evening work when I had children. now I’m trapped by the hours and the money. I’d love to be a stay at home mum and the thought of work when I’m ready, but this is a luxury, we can not afford. I’m determine to find more, but after 11 years, it’s hard to jump ship.
melissa says
I took a leap 12 months ago to leave an established career – it’s still scary at times but I am so glad I went for it.
That said – I couldn’t run a business. I’ve thought about it, but after a taste of it I realised it’s not for me!
Coal Valley View says
Well yes my hubby did feel trapped and that is why he chucked in the big Sydney job and we’re heading to the apple isle. He’s been wanting to be self-sufficient and get off the corporate treadmill for some time and now it’s finally happening. Scary but at the same time we’ve never felt such freedom in our lives, despite living on much less money. Will let you know how it’s working for us though in a few months!! Goodness with all your skills (and i’m sure us bloggers have only seen a taste of your creativity) well I have no doubt you would succeed in doing something you loved. You can take more calculated risks rather than jumping right into things – like work more part-time while you set something up to see if it really is what you want…….
Anonymous says
Bron, you are so talented, you will make what ever you do a stunning success but with all your free time (LOL) PLEASE write a children’s party book!
Faith says
This is SUCH a good post!! I saw it on Facebook and just knew I had to reply. I feel such a strong connection to what you wrote because I felt like work defined me too – even though I quit working and got married at 17 – I’d had a small job of some sort or another since I’d been 9. I was used to having money of my own to spend how I wanted. I was used to earning something. Not earning anything was HARD. I fought it just about every day, felt trapped at home. Looking back I wish oh how I wish I had more perspective. Those years went by SO FAST and I see the time that I took to be at home and “just” be a mommy as a really significant piece of my kids success. Once they started public school their teachers raved about how well behaved my kids were – how respectful to authority and kind to their peers. I was like “okay, maybe I was doing something right.”
No I don’t want to work outside the home – okay, well some days I do – but mostly I want to be home. I started working for myself teaching photography classes online. It’s not a huge source of income yet – I had another baby (the most wonderful surprise ever) and that means I have a lot less time to work, but it’s been a great experience. Doing what I love around my family’s schedule is my dream job and even though there have been times I’ve wanted to just close up shop and go work for somebody else – I don’t think I could ever be happy with that now that I’ve gotten a taste for being self-employed. So – good luck!! Hope you get it all sorted out for yourself.
Mum_of_2girls says
Good Luck in what ever you chose. I am lucky that the job i love to do keeps me at home with my children but i have always worked with kids some how since i was about 14.
What ever you chose will be perfect for you and your family
Glen says
Have you thought about writing? ;-p
Cherie @ 'a baby called Max' says
BRON!
You MUST do this!
I know I have never met you, but I can’t help but form this impression that anything you do would be an absolute success.
… There’s just something about you!
DO IT π
P.S I am low risk, & CLING to all forms of security with a vice like grip. I understand.
xx
Gemma @ My Big Nutshell says
Us low risk types, oh it’s a bit scary. But there is something liberating about cutting yourself loose and giving yourself permission to give it a go and learn (like Kelly Exeter said.
You will never lose your skills, whatever you do and whatever path you choose, you will still be you and I know you have the resolve. it is there.
BabyMac says
Story of my life. If ONLY I could just figure out what it is, and get out of my own way. Oh boy do I get it.
TAHNEE says
absolutely we hold the key to our own cage! i’m with cherie, I get the feeling you would be amazing at *anything* you tipped your hat to. I lived the corporate life pre children and could not have been happier to leave it four years ago when I had my daughter – never to return!! go bron – find what it is that will give you your key back!! x
mel @ loved says
There’s nothing wrong with giving it some thought, thinking about options, it’s like mental preparation for a change somewhere out there on the horizon. So when the right thing presents itself, you’ll be in the right space..x
Faux Fuchsia says
I’m back at the Coalface in 2 weeks after 10 months of maternity leave – it’s almost not worth it with the cost of childcare. I was meant to go back in November and just couldn’t face leaving the baby and I’ loved being at home- so peaceful after time costing every 6 minutes for 17 years and having clients demand the world from me (am lawyer). I think if I’d put it off any longer it would be harder xxxx
Anna @ green tea n toast says
What a lovely post. It’s so hard trying to get the balance right between what you should be doing and what you want to do once you have kids. I’m trying to use my maternity leave this year to have a go at doing something I’ve always wanted to – that’s how my blog came about. So I say go for it – and good luck!
Sannah says
Bron, If your blog is anything to go by then you have more than enough talent, ability, drive, etc to do whatever you choose fabulously. I’m sure there are plenty of people on here who have told you this already.
If you really want to get out of the cage, then be brave, you only get one life.
xx Sannah
Veggie Mama says
haha yes – my brain. It tells me things I don’t want to hear and it’s a struggle sometimes to kick it in the throat and tell it I’m in charge.
Megan Blandford says
Um, YES!
I took a big leap after I had my baby, and this year I’m leaping even further. Life is good out here!
alison says
I rattle my own cage with my key on a regular basis! In fact, i think I rattle around in my own cage, know where the door is and the key is in my hand but i’m too scared to use it!! Eeek!! lol! But mine is a different cage to yours.
As for thinking…you know what they say (they being dr seuss) “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the things you can think up if only you try!” (sorry if someone else has already quoted that, but I couldn’t resist!!) Go forth and break free and see where it leads you, you can always, always return to corporate life…it will be waiting for you if you want it back.
Alison x
ps. Your word ‘better’ is such a great word for the year…so good i’m going to adopt it : )
Ms Jelena says
I broke out of my cage (not motherhood related, but a toxic cage instead) and I feel free and ready to take on the world!
Good luck! xx
ChinkyGirLMeL says
Wow for a second there I thought it was me who wrote that post. This post really hit home. I having been feeling the same way for the past couple of years now.I do hope this year is the year for me. =)
Bridget says
I had to go through the whole process of ‘unattaching’ my worth to my job when I moved to Hong Kong and couldn’t for the life of me find one. It’s an ongoing process to be honest and I struggle with it so much. It’s almost given me the chance to have a bright idea and ‘go it alone’ which I’d love to do, but said bright idea is yet to reveal itself as is the guts and balls it’d take for me to do so. So I’m with you – I think it’s a massive risk. But you’d never look back and say “I wish I hadn’t tried that”….
tahlia @ the parenting files says
gee Bron I think you have hit the nail on the head for so many individuals and mums! Too often we get stuck feeling uncertain and lost of which direction to take. Maybe anxiety holds us back, worry, fear… taking the first step of trying something new and walking into a foreign territory is the first step to unlocking the key i think…
But if I have learnt anything about you, even though i don’t know you..bravery is certainly something you possess! xx
emma @ frog, goose and bear says
Absolutely! Although for some reason I’ve only just realized that I hold the key and it’s about time I use it!
Down that Little Lane says
Oh my Bron, not sure what to say we are polar opposites in this situation. I have been working since I was 14 but never had an employee, constantly been self employed and every time I get bored with my job I create a new one.
This has been my year where I have finally created one I can’t walk away from. Still my own boss but so tied to my job it is not funny.
We must chat more, we could be good for each other, lol x
Kymmie says
Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh YES!
Working for myself is terrifying, mostly because I’m not sure if I have what it takes to stay motivated, not burn out, take too much on.
I basically doubt myself, and have The Fear.
I hate The Fear.
(But I do have an ABN and have been consulting on the side, but just not brave enough to go it alone!)
Let us know if you can do it! Waiting with baited breath!
1000 Homes of Happiness says
Love this post Bron. Take the leap. TAKE IT! Agree, I adore work. It helps shape ‘me’. I took the leap in October and had fears/reservations around it but now cannot imagine my working life had I not.
Good luck with your decisions. Isn’t it wonderful to have choice!
Misty Boston says
ugh, someone PLEASE … let me out of this cage!!!!
I pray every day for a miracle… a way to get out of this corporate grind that sucks the energy and creative juices out of me every. single. day.
good luck!
MultipleMum says
I don’t back myself either. I think we should. You could do anything. Just close the door and watch 50 new ones open x
Kat @ I Saw You Dancing says
I can so relate to everything you’ve written here, beautiful one. For many years I longed to break out of the mould and stop “working for the man” and make a living doing something I loved… the only thing was, I wasn’t quite sure what that was, and how I’d go about feeding myself/paying off the mortgage with it!!
I suspect what we need is a bit of time and space to figure these things out. It’s not an either/or proposition and it isn’t going to happen overnight. I am obsessed with Summer Pierre’s “Artist in the Office” and love the way she advocates maintaining a steady income stream with part time work but devoting the rest of the time to our creative passions.
I have learnt the hard way, though, that very little is possible when you have tiny children in your life. (Sure, some people make this look easy, but they also don’t shine the spotlight on their nannies and housekeepers, either!!) All us mere mortals can do, I suspect, is keep chipping away and have faith that we’re working towards our grander plan…
Rhonda says
Yes! I put a lot of effort into a degree in Legal Studies, specifically corporate law. I always thought eventually I’d go to law school but until then I’d gain experience working in corporate law as a Paralegal. I liked it until I got the job from hell. But I felt like I couldn’t do anything else. Finally I just left and went back to school. Fell in love with teaching which I always shied away from because it wasn’t a glamorous high paying gig. So glad I took the leap.
fromthebungalow says
I have absolutely felt this way. I was in an non-affectionate marriage for over 10 years, and a SAHD for about 5 of those years, and desperately needed change. Well, I ended up divorced and looking for work and afraid to lose my kids, but it all worked out. I’m now working full-time, I’m remarried, and I have primary custody. It was an ugly, uncomfortable couple of years, but transition is always difficult.
I found this post because I was looking for an image of a key in a hand. Is this your photo? If so, may I use it for a post tomorrow? If it’s not yours, may I ask where you found it so I can link back to the source?
Thank you! Good post!