Elisa wrote a beautiful post for Grateful this week. As I read it, a memory sparked in me that was so powerful that I had to pause to catch my breath.
It is 2004 and Maxi is seven weeks and two days old. My whole body is feeling raw and tender with sleep deprivation and birth complications and the business of parenting a baby that cries and cries and cries and then smiles like a firework has burst into the night sky.
I was dozing on the couch, my baby nestled at the breast. We had been there for more than an hour; he was a very slow feeder, it’s true. I was lulled by those breastfeeding hormones; dizzy with gentleness.
Something on the news about an under-age driver killed going 140km in a 60 zone. I sleepily thought of his parents and the anguish they must be feeling. The appalling, screeching, screaming anguish. And then suddenly I realised that I knew that anguish, I felt it because it was my painful, heavy anguish too. I felt all-at-once connected to that family in a way that was visceral and real. My heart was there for them, carrying their heart across their unbearable pain.
And ever since, whenever something is happening that sparks emotion in me – good or bad – I feel that connection. It is like I am the parent of the whole wide world. That the fragile world is sheltered by the love I have for my children and the care I pull across them night and day.
I am here and I am feeling and I am in you just as you are in me. We are all the parents of this world and together we keep watch. Together we carry each and every one of us across the pain and into a smile like a firework that has burst into the night sky.
[Image by Brendan Howard]
Maryandlil says
THIS post was so beautiful. You reduced me to tears xxx thank you xxx
Mrs Bok - The Bok Flock says
Maxabella such a beautiful beautiful post. I have that connection and that sympathy too…becoming a parent wakened that heart wrenching feeling for every news story involving a child. You’ve described it so eloquently.
one claire day says
Since becoming a mother I cry all the time. I cry for my child. I cry for other peoples children. I cry for broken families and their broken hearts. The tears just flow.
I love this post, Bron. Thanks for putting the feelings into words. xx
melissa says
I know that feeling, I felt it too at some point when my first was tiny. Some deep empathy for the anguish of a parent gets awakened when you have children. You managed to eloquently describe that feeling in this post – and make me feel it all over again.
xx
Nina says
You write so beautifully and with such meaning and feeling. I’ve never been able to put into words how different it is for me since having my babies to watch or hear about a story where a child is hurting or a family has suffered a loss. You write exactly how I wish I could describe that feeling. Thanks for writing this 🙂
Kymmie says
Oh, I felt the same way when I read the post too! The way you put it is so beautiful.
I’ve never seen it that way before. But it’s so true.
Thank you for a gorgeous post. xx
mel @ loved handmade says
oh Bron, speechless! You have said this so beautifully, and like Claire, I cry for mine & everyone else’s just the same. Thats a mother, it’s our make up..x
trudi@maudeandme says
You are so right.
mel @ loved handmade says
oh Bron, speechless! You have said this so beautifully, and like Claire, I cry for mine & everyone else’s just the same. Thats a mother, it’s our make up..x
Veronica @ Mixed Gems says
Wow, Bron! Wow! You’ve touched on something so true; emotions and sympathies, empathies only really born in us once we become parents.
Mum on the Run says
Simply beautiful.
The burden and the beauty of motherhood.
xxx
Elisa {with grace and eve} says
Thank you Bron! And thank you for reading and appreciating my post 🙂 I know exactly what you mean. You’ve said it perfectly. I feel it too. We are all connected xx
Kate Sins says
Shar has it right – the burden and the beauty. We are all in it together and we all feel it all – good, bad or tragic.
Gawd, that anguish, I feel it in my heart and it tears it apart.
Love the way you think.
Laura a.k.a rah says
Wow, it’s moments like these where I wonder HOW I will cope if/when I become a mum… all the emotion of it all… but at the same time I know I’ll be strong like you are 🙂
Kelly Exeter says
Amazing. This might possibly be your Best. Post. Ever.
🙂
Becky from BeckyandJames.com says
Bron, this is beautiful x
Karen at MomAgain@40 says
As beautiful as poetry! Thank you!
thejadeleaf says
Amazing Bron. I think becoming a parent does this. Too much love and empathy. If only we could harness it x
lipgloss mumma says
This is such a beautiful post Bron. You have such a way with words and can pinpoint things beautifully. x
Felicity says
Beautiful truth Bron.
x
Claire Chadwick @ Scissors Paper Rock says
A really beautiful post Bron!
Since becoming a Mother, I too feel the pain of others so much more. I can relate more. I love more.
x
ally says
Elisa’s post was beautiful…and I remember crying when I saw that clip too.
Your post just speaks to my heart..that heart that feels so much more than it ever did before children
xx
Faux Fuchsia says
Parenthood in some way makes you tougher and in other ways makes you vulnerable. And prone to sobbing.
When the baby was about a month old a baby whale washed up and beached itself and died because it was separated from its Mama and couldn’t find her.
I wept and wept at the thougth of the baby not being able to find me.
Love does amazing things to the heart and its capacity to empathise.
Milina says
I relate enormously. Beautifully written post. x
Jane says
Sensational, Bron. J x
Mrs BC says
That was a beautifully written post and so very very true. Sometimes when I look at older people or drunks or even criminals on the tv I think ‘you where some one’s baby once. Someone once held you & smelled your head & rocked you to sleep” I’m crying now, thinking of it. It just does me in.
x
joeh says
One of the nice things about being old is I can suspend “Guy’s Rules” and tell you – That was a beautiful post!
Cranky Old Man
Cherie @ 'a baby called Max' says
Bron, this is actually my favourite post ever written by you.
So beautiful. Just so beautiful!
So beautifully written.
You have a talent. And an absolute way with words x
AVY says
True words anad a very cool picture.
/ Avy
http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com
♥
Cheryl Roth says
Profound thoughts. Thank you for sharing your heart so others can feel it too. This is why the world needs mothers to lead the way in curing it’s ills.
Andrea says
Such a beautiful post and I know what you mean. I remember that feeling too and it freaked me out – where does it come from? x
Tricia says
Gorgeous words! I’ve had similar moments since becoming a mum. Imagine how nurturing the world would be if it was run entirely by mums with that much empathy in their hearts.
Annieb25 says
It’s been a long time since I’ve been here darling Maxabella, but how wonderful to come back to this post. So beautiful and you put into words the ache I feel every time I feel the pain of another parent who has lost a child. xxxxx
Simoney says
That is so true.
i know that feeling.
You said it so beautifully.
x
Ash says
What a beautiful post, letting us all into your heart and putting those intense feelings into words xx
Cool Rider says
So beautifully said!
dear olive says
Shane and I often sit there at night, silently sobbing away at horror news stories involving children. Love this post lady. Kellie xx
Down that Little Lane says
Only you could make me feel like a parent to the whole world… But you have and I do… I completely feel that way.
I never in a million years thought I would but the connections are undeniable.
On a private note… Thank you lady.. You know why 🙂
Being Me says
Oh. My god. The most poignant and amazingly pure post I have read in…… too long.
Maxi, thank you. From the bottom of my heart to the full top and every layer in between.
Melissa Mitchell says
You’re completely right, of course Bron. This is how I feel. I feel with every mother. My heart breaks for mothers, every single time I hear of anything horrible.
Beautifully written.
Cat says
Oh my Bron, when you nail it you nail it! I have felt that way since Bebito was born too. If only we could all care for each other in that way, there would be no war and the world would run on empathy and love. What a splendid vision that conjures. A beautiful post. X
jardelle says
Greetings my lovely bloggers….i missed all of you…your new follower
Jodie Ansted says
This is so true.
For eg, whenever a mother at school is faced with a crises, we all rally around and feel for that parent as if we were her, and experiencing what she is experiencing.
So beautifully put, Bron. xox
Claireyhewitt says
So true, while I now cry at almost anything, I feel so so much very deeply that I just never felt before.
dixiebelle says
It’s true. We can imagine being the parent in so many situations that our kids are not even in. We can imagine how we would react or feel, even if it is completely different to how that parent actually felt… but those emotions we can imagine are so strong to us, because being a parent is an all powerful thing.
Thank you…