A handful of things I’m wondering about engagements…
Thing 1: When did engagements get to be as big as the wedding?
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Thing 2: When did the engagement photoshoot become an essential component of a romance?
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Thing 3: And exactly when was it decided that the engaged couple should don vintage style clothing, pack a wicker hamper and make eyes (or lose their eyes) at each other in a field?
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Because ‘in my day’ (yes, I’m going there), the boys would not have been up for this gig at all. Not at all.
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We would have had buckleys of getting them into the required clothes, let alone the necessary pose. And, is it my imagination, or do the men in these shots generally look a little… awkward? No wonder most of the heads are cut off…
[Source] – and I urge you to click through to see these two in their swimmers. Oh, yes they did!
What did you do for your engagement?
β₯
I’ve temporarily put on hold our ‘Dear Agony Aunts‘ idea. Lots of reasons. Emotional wreckage due to email overload with lots of dilemmas out there being one. Stay tuned.
[Main photo from here]
Red Dalish says
The world has gone crazy for photo shooting every possible ‘key life-moment’.
One of my favourite photos is a self portrait done of mine and hubs’ feet on the beach in Spain where he proposed.
A really good pic is best taken in the moment. Those props are ridiculous!
Gemma says
Bron, you are so hilarious and so SPOT ON, AS ALWAYS!!! I love how you snuck in your photo. Photos in the moment are the ones that I hold close to my heart. We did nothing like this for our engagement party. My favourite photo before our engagement was out the front of the olympic stadium in 2000. Our young fresh faces, so much excitement, so much youth, so much promise. It’s beautiful. There would be no way my husband would pose for those types of shots that are meant to have seriousness about them. If it was ridiculous and stupid, he would however be right in there!
Kelly Exeter says
Why Sister B this may be your funniest post ever!
PMSL at your captioning. Thank you for this late night laugh.
Night night!
Kelly Exeter says
Why Sister B this may be your funniest post ever!
PMSL at your captioning. Thank you for this late night laugh.
Night night!
joeh says
We had a party on a boat(suprised her on her 50th) one of us got drunk!
Cranky Old Man
Ms Styling You says
Bahahaha! I agree – so would not have got my husband keen on it!
Andrea @ little buckles says
You are so right and so so funny! We didn’t have a party and certainly no photoshoot! We did have a lovely holiday though π
Robyn says
I have to say-I still think celebrating engagements is MUCH bigger in the states-the whole photo thing…I don’t know anyone in the UK that has done that…save the date cards, then a wedding invite…that is the norm really. How can people afford it?
Diminishing Lucy says
The record player thing? My parents had one of those old ones! It used a massive square battery liek you get in a huge torch.
And the engagement thingo? Mad.
I might blog about ours one day. It was romantic. But not ‘an event’…
xx
Flaming Nora says
Bloody hell, I’ve just clicked through to the couple in their swimmers. I am (nearly) speechless.
The world has really and truly gone insane.
When I was in my 20’s a hen do was an evening out at the Elvis impersonator restaurant. Now its an expensive weekend away cram packed taxing and often humiliating activities.
bron @ baby space says
aww, I love these fancy engagement shoots (and the posey boofs π
in my day — past and present — the menfolk were totally not up for it either.
when we have any kind of family picture (we haven’t been engaged) there is a lot of talk on my part about ‘capturing this awesome time in our lives’ etc.
it’s prob a girl thing right? I doubt any of these fellas are too happy about it. also I’m thinking that maybe men from the us of a are more willing. just a guess.
lou says
I have just laughed out loud! Showed Dan and then we sat there pissing ourselves laughing at these. You are so funny! I would NEVER put Dan through this.. they all look bored and awkward. But the thing is they’ve just proposed to her… so they are loved up big style. I can’t talk… I’m not married and HE has never asked! x
Life In A Pink Fibro says
Oh come on – don’t you know that if you don’t photograph it (complete with hair, make-up and vintage props) then it NEVER HAPPENED??????
That 1940s couple is hilarious. Did they send out all the pics to their nearest and dearest?
I'm Hannah says
In my day (a year ago) we went to the pub for dinner with the parents…
Seriously what newly weds can afford a professional photo shoot…
Thanks for taking the pressure off my simple wedding to be oh so sweet and vintage, with the giggles!
oxox
trudi@maudeandme says
I guess it is the only time you have any chance of getting the bloke to do this!!
Happylan says
Thank you for posting this Bron! I always look at these types of photoshoots and think exactly the same thing, then I started wondering if I was just old and jaded and non-romantic. I mean some of the pictures are lovely, some are just… odd. I Can just imagine the look on my Mr’s face if I had suggested something like this! I did see a funny one where a couple had a zombie interrupt their perfect picnic. That was kinda cool.
katiecrackernuts says
Oh Lordy, we had one of our brood announce her engagement a week ago. She’s moving into Bridezilla territory. Please don’t mention a fancy engagement party, we were hopin’ for a shindig at home!
A Farmer's Wife says
Hi Bron
We didn’t even have an engagement party. We did have a huge wedding quite soon after and I just couldn’t be bothered arranging a party as well. We were both working flat out and there was too much else going on. I did get a nice diamond though.
This was almost ten years ago now so maybe things have changed. I was also not the most bridezilla of brides (I let my Mum choose all the table settings etc as I didn’t have time to get to Perth and the internet was not huge then – I can remember walking into the marquee and being surprised by how pretty it all was!!)
I do think social media has made getting photographed more common as it seems that sometimes the photo takes on as much meaning as the event. I agree with your sister. Things haven’t really happened unless they are posed for, photographed and posted on facebook….!!!
Or maybe I am just old and a bit grumpy this morning!!! I guess it is whatever makes you (and your man) happy.
Super Ordinary Mum says
Bron, you just gave me a great laugh on a day where my head was stuck in the grumps….thanks! And no, it has all gone a bit mad, but you know, each to their own I gues. There is no way my hubby would/would’ve done this.
Sooz.
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
totally agree- like baby announcement, and then the Save the Date announcements too. Lucky photographers really….they would be rubbing their hands together! And you know….hubby and I found our totally embarrassing ‘posed” engagement photo. Typical old country photographer that wouldn’t stray away from old blue/grey background and us looking like complete goofs….at least it gave us a laugh. And you are right…I;d have buckleys getting my man in any kind of posed outfit! xx
Nat - Muddy Farmwife says
I love this!!! Spot on again Bron, there is no way my hubby would ever come at a photo shoot or dress up like a tosser for it.
We simply got engaged, had a friend and family engagement party and got hitched, with a few photos, that’s it.
Nothing like ‘the norm’ nowadays.
What Sarah Did Next: says
Hilarious! My husband would never have done any of that stuff, lol. We didn’t have an engagement party, just went out for a big dinner.
The wedding cost enough without forking out more for extra pictures!!
Miss Pink says
Ummm, you can totally see up her skirt in the last one. Not really engagement appropriate right? Maybe save that for the labour?
And a swingagement? What is that? Where you swap partners with other engaged couples?
I have to agree, that it would be a huge fight to get Mr Black to dress up and attend one of these. I have found that men these days are well…more feminine, and really into dressing up and taking photo’s of themselves. So maybe it’s got to do with that?
I know the photographer I have wanted for our wedding (if it ever happens) does an engagement photoshoot as a part of the package, and says it’s non negotiable because he uses that time to get to know the couple and how they photograph. I always figured I’d ask it to be a family photoshoot because I have more use for that.
Also if/when we get married I’ve always liked the idea of a really small wedding, so we’d probably do a big engagement bash, just a BBQ out the back or something, and let guests know that this is our way of celebrating with them.
Jane says
Haha! I’m totally with you on this one! I’m not engaged, but there is NO way that my boyfriend would ever be made to pose for engagement photos! It seems like everyone is doing it these days. Not my thing, to be honest. Maybe a casual engagement party/BBQ at home to celebrate, but that’d be it xxx
Christina Lowry says
You crack me up! Yes, nine years ago there was no engagement shoot for us either. In fact, most of our photos of that time are one of us taking a photo of the other, rarely the two of us together. So I do get wanting some photos of the two of you for prosperity. But the vintage swim wear photos look more like a photo shoot for a swim wear company than for a photo album for the kids.
π
emma @ frog, goose and bear says
Hilarious!! Love your own shot hidden in there π
These look very much like some my BIL & SIL had taken last year!!!! To their defence they won the pics in a competition.
When we got engaged 13 years ago we didn’t even have an engagement party let alone photos.
P.S. now i want to know how to put those supercool tabs on top of your photos!
E. says
I don’t understand this at all. But then I don’t understand a 1st birthday Cake Smash or wedding dress trash photo shoots either.
Maybe I’m a philistine?
Miss Kitty-Cat says
Nup. We didn’t even have an engagement party. And my husband would have laughed at me had I even suggested an engagement shoot or a trash the dress shoot. He’s just not that kind of person. And to be honest, neither am I.
I love having family photos taken though. We had some done when G was a wee baby (10 days old) and we’ll have some more done in a few weeks. For us it’s an investment – but we dress in our real clothes and we have them taken in our home and garden. We don’t live in the 1940s in a wheat field dressed as heart throbs and pin ups. Photography – for me – captures the moment in time, not an idealised version of it.
But snaps to those who love it and do it. It’s certainly beautiful to look at, just not for me.
K xx
Miriam says
When a man is all loved up and engaged it just might be the ONLY time to get him to behave in such an un- usual fashion, just sayin – if they don’t do it then well…. they NEVER will! Great post
Local is Lovely says
Hi, these photos are hysterical! I totally missed the whole engagement photo session thing. Actually I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone doing it in real life, only the internet!
I just discovered your blog and LOVE it! Can’t wait to read more,
Sophie
shine little light* says
I am SO with you here! It’s just become the thing to do hasn’t it and all the damn photos look the same. I like the idea of having a photo shoot, and setting up fun props but then I remember a) Tim would hate it b) I hate having my picture taken c) he would end up looking better than I do in the pics because he is an actor and i am a techie and he looks gooood on camera and d) why the hell would i want to do something everyone else is doing?! Love you for pointing out the truth π
Emily says
I don’t get it either. I have a few friends from the US and they all did it – perhaps it’s ‘the done thing’ (oh yes, I’m going there) there?
karen says
We are so contrived. It’s nice to have good photos, but staging – even vintage staging, the least offensive – makes me cringe. I’m sure they are lovely people, just with too much time/money on their hands.
Miss Directions says
Hilarious.
I can understand having an engagement shoot from a practical perspective in picking your photographer. Gives you a chance to be sure and them a chance to know how to make you smile right.
But some of the them are rather intense looking these days.
Sarah Humphreys says
This is REALLY funny. You’re right, i had noticed this kind of stuff creeping up but didn’t really NOTICE… you know?
I think it can be sweet but it’s such a fine line…
Blokes. Looking awkward in photos since… forever.
Mum on the Run says
I love these pics – but would hve been hard pressed to coerce Hubby into it.
π xxx
Sarah says
Serious?!
People do this for engagements?
Oh man – we just had a BBQ and invited friends/family over at the local park!
My man would still not even do this now. He wont even do a kiss in a photo booth – I know disaster!!!
cathy@home says
My husband would of said”just take a picture I have things to do”
Vicky says
I want to know when did year 12 Formals become something akin to getting married….
My daughter was showing me dresses for her formal (which isn’t until next year) and I was gob smacked at the prices of said dresses. Then her friend informs me, oh that’s nothing, there’s the hair, the makeup, the shoes, the PHOTOGRAPHER, the CAR…
I get it, graduating is a big deal. but high school???
Jaclyn says
i just burst out laughing…great post
MultipleMum says
The swing couple are hilarious! I wish you had used the cloth over their heads shot. What the?
I had blissfully overlooked the engagement photo shoots. Now I will see them everywhere I bet! x
Down that Little Lane says
Rofl… We are 10 years married 15 together Ina few weeks. We didn’t havea party, a picture or even a honeymoon!
Boy am I owed some serious partying and photograph taking!
jodi says
Oh Bron, I laughed.
Firstly, I know why the “e-session” came about…basically photographers encourage couples to do it so they get comfy in front of the camera before the wedding day. It’s also a good opportunity to hold up a “thank you” sign and use the photo as a card after the wedding. Photographers see it as a good way to sell a photo package…”and you get a free engagement shoot!”
I wrote an article on engagement sessions a few years back and Daniel and I were photographed by Rummey Bears (we lay in freesias…good flower choice, no?!) for the article – http://rummeybears.blogspot.com.au/2010/09/blog-post_12.html.
Would I pay for my own engagement session? No. Does the wedding industry love them? Yes, yes they do.
It’s a very American “let’s celebrate every. single. moment.” way of doing things.
Enough of my “….”
But the record player in the field – stylists do strange things sometimes x
Anonymous says
Hey, we got engaged nearly 40 years ago; started off with photos in the studio. The dress I was making for the engagement party at my parents’ house wasn’t quite finished – I hadn’t hemmed it – but wore it in the studio for the photo shoot as was only head and shoulders shot anyway! My parents gave us a dinner for close family. A couple of weeks and several hundred kilometres away, my fiance’s parents gave us a big engagement party. So many happy people. I treasure the memories.
Love your blog.
cheers, Hope.
Lou Lou says
Oh yes, the ‘engagement’ photo. That’s right up there with the ‘first baby’ present.. What the?
Bean's Mummy says
Laughing over cereal right now – thanks lovely! Was thinking similar the other day when looking through a scrapbooking/stamping catalogue. A Mummy had made up a page about their family, with all these lovely words to represent it & flowers & hearts around the family photo. I had to laugh because despite the pretty design, if you looked at the photo, the Dad looked SOOOOOO unimpressed. It was hilarious! Anyway, we had a massive party for our engagement. Softened the blow when we then eloped to a tropical island. hehe. Was amazing! xx
Naomi says
You know, I can’t even remember what we did when we got engaged… nothing? Something? I really can’t remember.
As for the wedding, my hubby basically said, do what you want. I’ll just turn up on the day. And that’s what happened. Well, apart from him helping me choose my dress.
We didn’t even have a paid photographer at the wedding.
As for posing like these photos. Not a snowballs chance.
Simoney says
Hahaha… indeedy you are so RIGHT!
I mean, we got engaged a mere 12 years ago and we did well to get WEDDING pictures. The vintage thing is VERY cute… but surely not EVERYONE is doing it? Is it greeting card companies… or photographers trying to persuade people there’s not a credit crunch?
Un.be.lievable. (though that swing couple are VERY stylie/photogenic/modellish)
THAT’s IT! They are models! Models who are engaged and looking to beef up their portfolios with some stylie vintage posing (being very ‘on trend’)… and they have photographer friends who are trying to beat the credit crunch!
MummyateMe says
A friend of mine showed me her wedding album the other day, then confessed that the photos had been take FOUR YEARS before their wedding.
She said they knew that they were serious but weren’t ready to actually get married yet but they didn’t want to look too old in their wedding photos, so they just had them done.
When did photos stop being a record of your life and start being a record of how you wish your life was.
Nicole says
Hello. I found your blog π
I agree…there’s no way my husband would agree to such a thing either. I think engagement shots are sweet but overthetop. We had a party in our house to celebrate our engagement. It was very casual. There was no furniture because we had none. But it was fun. Nicole
Brian says
I don’t know what dude would not be up for going on a photoshoot where they get to spoon and kiss the woman they love for a couple hours. An up tight “Bro” perhaps, who doesn’t love his “Hoe”… No one is making these guys do this. I for one actually get tons of “Thanks man, that was awesome!” from guys at the end of the shoots. In my shoot shared on here, it was the guy’s idea to go hiking in their vintage clothes, and bring a vintage radio (btw, those record players in the picnics play on batteries, I use one). They do this kind of thing all the time, and met swing dancing. The girl was a shoe designer and brought her own wardrobe. Some of these people have never had professional photos taken, and it is a great warmup/icebreaker for them before their wedding day. It’s also awesome to have photos of this time in your life, so your kids don’t just think you always dressed in a tux and gown. You had your own style and weren’t afraid to show a little leg. Not a prude. I do agree though, that photographers should not be making couples do something they wouldn’t, just to get marketing materials.
supermac says
My thoughts, exactly! This made my day, Maxabella. Hahaha!
Louisa Claire says
I have nothing to add – just hilarious!
Deb @ Bright and Preciou says
Hilarious! I had no idea that this kind of thing was going on. I guess the guys are getting a taste of what the wedding photo shoot may entail… hence the awkwardness.
nikki bale says
O my word. Hilarious and so, so true. Can the same be said about the over photographing of EVERY event these days (I am guilty of it too, having 2 wee ones being adorable every second)…but, this takes the cake for ridiculous.
Nikki @ http://www.thelovedhomeblog.com
Kitty says
Hilarious! I personally love the posey boofs.
What’s with the almost seeing up the skirt action in the last pic?!?!?
We were engaged 5 years ago. No posey snaps for us.
We did take a series of photobooth photos to use for our save the dates. No make up or styling there! Just two hungover boofheads (me with raccoon eyes) being funny in a very small booth.
Rhonda says
we had a friend of ours take pictures in the park…it was Autumn and the leaves were beautiful. No props, just laughs, and fun.
Jodie Ansted says
I kinda like the engagement photos that people do these days. Having said that a) I would NEVER had gotten my husband to agree to doing one, and b) I wouldn’t have spent the money on it. We didn’t even have a ‘real’ photographer at our wedding (OR a wedding cake). Just a couple of friends who took shots. It was a good call. Those photos are STILL waiting to be hung on the wall – after 12 years of marriage!;)