Tweeters have been slammed for being harsh about Sophie Mirabella’s (lack of a) reaction to Simon Sheikh’s collapse on QandA last night, but I think it’s a bloody good thing indeed. Were no one to have noticed her recoiling reaction, then I think we would have a problem.
It says to me that thank god Sophie Mirabella’s hands-off approach to other people is not our societal norm after all. You see, I once saw a man collapse on George Street during the lunch time rush and at least twenty people in front of me stepped over him and continued on their way without a backward glance. If I told you that he was a homeless man, would that change the way you see this scenario?
As it happens, he wasn’t. He was a guy in a suit who had just learned that he’d lost his job, walked out of his office building, made it 10 metres up the road and reacted to the shock. Down he went. Over they all went. One after the other – this is not our business, what is he doing down there, how embarrassing. Those were the things I heard as I neared the scene and went to that man’s aid. When I stooped down to help him, ten other people instantly rushed to my side and could not do enough.
It’s called the ‘bystander effect‘ and it results in a ‘diffusion of responsibility‘. When there is a group of people, each of them assumes that the rest of the group will take responsibility. They might feel that others around them are better qualified to help; that others will do a better job; that it is none of their business; that they will do the wrong thing and make the situation worse. While they feel guilty for not doing anything, it is not enough to bring themselves to take control and draw attention to themselves. The result is that no one takes responsibility until someone comes along who believes it is one of their roles in life to help others and they will take over the responsibility for everyone. The ‘helpers’ are in the minority, despite what we might like to believe. Most people will do nothing.
I don’t know if I was born a ‘helper’ or if it came as a result of learning the story of Kitty Genovese in a social psychology class at uni, but for as long as I can remember, I have reacted immediately to situations around me. I’m in there whether you want me there or not. So, I can say with my hand on my heart that I would not have sat there the way Sophie Mirabella sat there.
I can also say with my hand on my heart that it’s not okay to judge Sophie on the way she reacted when someone was in need. You don’t honestly know what you would have done in the same situation unless you’ve been in that situation before and been the ‘helper’. Sophie was on national television being directed by a film crew – the diffusion of responsibility effect would have been very strong in that situation. The crew were there, it was their job to help Simon, Sophie might have worried about ‘doing the wrong thing’ by the crew and the show on national television.
In the end, she did do the wrong thing on national television, and I really feel sorry for her because it’s probably not her fault. Is she a cold, heartless person who would leave a fellow panelist to suffer? Well, maybe, maybe not. We can’t necessarily judge her based on what happened last night. But the fact that we noticed it and we’re saying that it’s not okay – well, that’s a very, very good thing indeed.
[Image found here]
Lyndal says
i really enjoyed this post – it was considered and well written. I used to work in the city, on George street and know the scene you speak of all too well, it was, sadly, a common occurence.
Simoney says
Interesting stuff maxabella.
I read a really interesting book called the tipping point which is all about that bystander effect.
Makes you really think.
xx
Fiona says
I feel a little immodest saying it Bron, but I am also a helper and was rather shocked by the lack of response from Sophie. Obviously different people are wired differently, and of course being in front of a television camera at the time would have had some impact. Let’s hope it isn’t indicative of her true nature.
neenaballerina says
I’m a ‘helper’ but I’m married to someone who reacts first in shock before he reacts with help. He has the kindest, gentlest heart I know but it takes him a while to process what just happened for a few seconds… I think a lot of people are like that. I know in the playground (I’m a teacher) there are some that rush in and some that take a beat to survey the situation. I would say it’s probably some sort of survival instinct that has survived down the generations from a time where to rush in without thinking meant certain death (think animal attack). I agree it looked heartless but who’s to say she wasn’t having some sort of anxiety attack on the inside?
Claireyhewitt says
Yes it did make me think more about her. It wasn’t that she did little, it was the scoff she seemed to be making. And as she went on, she become even more annoying to me. The lady has no manners. Manners are important. Being able to listen to other people speak even if you don’t agree is important.
Libby says
I was once at story time at the local library and a mum was dealing with a toddler tantrum and in trying to get control of him she lost her balance and fell over banging her head.
Screaming toddler, shocked and immobile mother – crowd reaction around me was to pretend she was invisible. Probably only a few seconds and then I rushed over, helped her up whilst scooping up the toddler and took them both outside to calm him down and allow her to regain her composure. Yes, I’m a helper and proud of it. Couldn’t stand by if I tried.
Was watching Q&A and it was a surreal moment. Go Greg Combet!!
Averil says
My best friend fainted in the bank one day because she suffers from low blood pressure- and nobody helped her! She came to a couple of minutes later and when she asked the teller why she didn’t help her the woman said,” we see people do that a lot in here, they’re usually junkies.” My friend was in her dental nurses work uniform! I couldn’t believe it when she told me, makes you wonder what the world is coming to.How ignorant of everyone in that bank. Even if the person looked like a drug addict I would still help them and call an ambulance.
Beck says
Sometimes I used to worry that if something serious happened to a stranger, be it car accident or collapse,that I would be in too much shock to be of much assistance. But I was tried and tested last year when my Dad cut his hand (on a table saw!). He came inside the house and said to me ‘call an ambulance I’ve chopped my fingers off’. I had about half a second to process this before I was on the phone to ‘000’ giving someone my address. I handled that situation quite well (at least I think I did, it’s a little bit blurry!) and didn’t fall apart until the ambulance had left. Since then I’ve felt far more capable to jump into action during an emergency, be it with a stranger or someone I know. Hopefully there are more ‘helpers’ out there than ‘bystanders’.
Thanks for writing such an eye opening piece, hopefully you have reminded people out there to stop and help instead of walking past.
xo Beck
cathy@home says
I must be a helper because all the times I have been in the right place to help someone.
like the time I went to see a friend working at a Nursery a baby started to choke everyone there was in shoke except for me which was a good thing for everyone especially me I think if I did nothing and said it was not my problem I couldnt live with my self.
Tessa White says
I am a helper but if I am honest it is only since coming to Australia..
London was a place that they may have been faking to mug you or worse so I will admit I walked past many in my time.. its hard to judge in certain circumstances and the other day I went to help some old man and to do so had to risk leaving my kids sitting under a tree near the kerb with strict instructions not to move.. now some would judge me for being a bad Mum instead..
Michele says
did she recoil in disgust or was she just confused and trying to figure out what extraordinary out of the norm had just happened? I think she really had no idea what was going on and was trying to process what had just happened and was a tad slow about it? and seems worse/to take longer as we are watching it unfold and can see how long it is taking. She does put her hand out to him once others rush over but really seems a little bewildered by it all it must have been odd. Her reachign out may have been partly bystander effect…the others coming to help in her mind tells her shit yes really this is happening and hes not mucking around or some other odd explanation He IS in need of help. Looks bad on her behalf that she didnt instantly come to his aid and is slow to react but we all react differently and who knows where her head was at/ I would love to hear her (genuine not media crapola spin) version of what went on for her. It is quite sad to see him reaching for and trying to sip his water before he keels over poor man hope he is on the mend
Donna says
This is a really thought provoking post… My first reaction was of disgust towards Mirabella’s actions but I hadnt thought of it in the way you explained – TV, shock etc.
I like to think I am a helper but also know I am bloody inadequate in these situations. A boy was hit off his bike across the road from my house a few weeks back. I flew across the street with my son (in my pj’s GAWD!) and once I established there were more adequate people there to help I slipped away. I mean, all I could offer after calling the ambulance was drinks! It took another Mum to get ice packs etc (DUH!).
The other thing I do in these situations is cry – oh yes, very helpful indeed…
So thank you Bron for this – I’m amending my opinion of Mirabella’s actions immediately x
Carli says
I can’t say it changed my opinion on Sophie Mirabella – I wasn’t particularly fond of her to begin with. I guess Simon and Get Up are notorious for stunts though so she might have been suspect?
I once got into an argument with a guy on a train who began to abuse some overseas students who were minding their own business. No one else got involved, which is all rather ironic when you consider that international students are Victoria’s number one source of income but I guess some people are frightened. Which may or may not make me an idiot since I seem to be lacking that awareness! It won’t stop me though, much to my husband’s displeasure!
Being Me says
Loved this post, Bron. This is a thinker. I agree with you. And…. I have to say, I didn’t have a reaction of disgust at SM. The delayed reaction is one I can appreciate – sometimes it’s me, sometimes I can see more instantly that I need to step in – so I didn’t judge. But I can see where the collective is coming from as well. It’s a good and timely thing to assess both our own reactions and that of society. I’ve also read the comments with great interest. Thank you for the discussion.
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
Oh this is a weird one! I watched the clip as I missed it last night, but strange…SM wasn’t even looking at him at the time…perhaps she thought he’d fallen asleep! So strange. What I did notice, was that she did nothing for about 2.4 seconds….then a crew member came in. Not a lot of time for her “TV Brain” to switch to “Do I need to help Brain”…and yes, classic bystander effect! Psych 101!!! And I’m the one who will stop and help too Bron! It makes for interesting stories hey! Thanks for sharing this one xx
Michelle says
I didn’t see it so probably shouldn’t comment, but I know that I am terrible in a crisis! I am a very sensitive and compassionate person but I literally freeze when I’m faced by situations like this and am always in awe of people who rush in and know how to help. I’ll keep working on it!!
Veronica @ Mixed Gems says
A very good post, Bron. Fair and considerate. It reminds me of the bible quote, “He who is without sin, cast the first stone…” Unless we’ve been there before, we don’t know how we’d respond. We really don’t and we shouldn’t stand on the sidelines casting stones. Let’s just hope we’d do the compassionate thing.
Karla {Ironmum Karla} says
Yes well, it ws like her hands were tied behind her back, maybe she thought he was joking or something, I dont know. I guess it would be hard, ‘the show must go on’ kind of attitude and all. Poor bugger, maybe someone spiked his drink!x
Catherine Rodie Blagg (Cup of Tea and a Blog) says
I studied the Kitty Genevieve case in Social Psychology too… I’ll never forget it. I saw it in action once on the London Underground.. the carriage I was in was filling up with smoke, no one said a thing.. it was so weird, people were looking at each other, and the smoke got thicker and thicker. I jumped up and pushed the emergency button and as soon as I had everyone started hopping up and down opening windows and talking about what was happening. It’s a strange old phenomenon!
Kirsty @ Bowerbird Blue says
I like your generosity towards Sophie, it was only a few seconds so who can say what was going through her mind. In times of crisis it is hard to say who will help – we are all wired differently and behave in ways we don’t always expect. It is incredible how a whole group of people will not help in a time of need. I like to think I am a helper, there have been times where I have helped when no one else would, it does shatter your faith in people when they turn their heads away from someone in need.
Kidz Bizz development says
Thanks for writing such a balanced post. I can understand her reaction – there are many reasons behind it. Oddly enough – all judgement has been directed to one person on the panel – yet three others had full view of Simon dropping!