Perhaps I’m fixated on it because it’s a topic very close to my heart, but the media seems rife lately with people thinking it’s okay to judge people for being fat. Joan Rivers mocking Adele, some poor kid’s mum having a passive-aggresive go, anytime anyone mentions Chrissie Swan.
Why does what someone weighs bother people so darn much? Since when did someone’s weight become public property? And when did it become okay to insult someone so publicly, so shamelessly?
I’ve honestly had it up. to. here.
What someone weighs is absolutely none of anyone else’s business but their own.
Being fat doesn’t make you a failure, a disaster, an embarrassment. It doesn’t point to any particular personality flaw, character type, discipline issue or “lack of control”. It doesn’t make you ugly, dirty, slovenly or (unfortunately) thick skinned. It shouldn’t make you a target, it shouldn’t mean you have to “ignore the haters”, it shouldn’t mean you are open to being called names in the street, it shouldn’t mean you feel unsexy or undesirable.
Good for you if you were born loving carrots and taking comfort in celery. If you’ve never eaten just because you’re bored, never said “just one more”, never found great pleasure in lashings of butter on a warm bread roll. Or cheese. Or croissants straight from the oven. Or chocolate ice cream eaten straight from the tub. Or jam. If you’ve never, good for you.
Extra points if you love waking up at 5am and going for a run. If you’ve always enjoyed exercise and pushing yourself and “going for it”. I admire your discipline and determination and I’m happy that you’ve “never had a weight problem”. With respect, if you’ve never had a weight problem, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about if you judge and demean those that have.
And by the way, it’s absolutely possible to be entirely healthy and carry extra pounds so don’t use “it’s a drain on the public health system” as an excuse for your mean judgement of others. Trying to make out that a person’s weight is somehow your business and you can say whatever you like because you pay taxes?What’s with that? People are not statistics and generalisations have never been fair.
We might have an “ideal body type” in society, but what we’re actually dealing with are lots and lots and lots of different deals. We have all been dealt different cards in life and we all have something unique and special to offer. Some of us are especially kind and loving, others are witty and smart – or pretty and stylish or caring and giving or calm and confident; lots of us are all of those things.
What we weigh has nothing whatsoever to do with who we are and what we are capable of.
Please, for godsake, please stop making fat people feel so miserable about themselves and the way they live. Instead, try reminding them that being overweight is just one part of who they are and not the most important part, not even close.
Maybe I can change my weight one day, but so far it’s taken me 25 years and even then I’m still not as “thin” as I’m supposed to be, as I want to be. I know I’ll keep trying to become thinner until the day I die, but only because I’ve invested so much of myself – for so many, many years – that I don’t want to “give up trying”. Despite the stereotypes, us fatties are actually some of the most tenacious, determined people I know. Set-back after set-back after set-back after set-back, yet still we are there, trying again and again.
After years of feeling inferior because I was bigger than other people, one day I just decided that I was going to live my life wholly, freely and with pride, no matter what I weighed. The minute I made that decision, it seemed ridiculous. Ridiculous that I would even have to tell myself such a thing.
Stop judging me for who I am. We all have something about ourselves we’d like to change. Something we’re working on as hard as we can.
Stop making me feel like I should be miserable, just because I eat too much.
I’d rather be fat than nasty.
{Image by Tim}
Bec @ The Plumbette says
You have the biggest heart I know. It needs a big body to case it. Xx I’m slowly trying to lose the baby weight but chocolate is my weakness and some days it’s my strength to get through the hard mothering days. X