Yesterday I almost had a collision with a punk in a hotted up Corolla. He missed me by a metre, tops. The minute it happened, I knew it was bad. I mean, forgodsake, who pimps a Corolla?!
Within seconds the driver erupted out of his car and slammed his way over to my window. “Whadthafuckareyadoinyastupidbitch?” He was so incensed by my crime of driving down the street he wanted to reverse into that he was a motley shade of purplish-blue in the face. He banged on my closed window. “You’re a fuckin idiot, you fuckin bitch!!!!”
He was so full of rage, belting the window, jumping up and down. I couldn’t for the life of me work out what all the fuss was about. Seeing that purple, contorted face almost made me want to break into a little rendition of a little ray of sunshine, has come my world.
Now, I knew I should just shrug and start reversing the car away slowly, but I didn’t want the stupid little shit to think that his behaviour was acceptable. You know how it is.
“Oh, hi there, mister,” I said gaily, looking right into his purple face. “You reversed out without looking. I actually had right of way.”
“Ya fuckin didn’t,” screamed his rats tail-blonde girlfriend from the passenger seat of the Corolla. “She fuckin didn’t, did she Glen? Did she?”
“I FUCKIN DID YOU MOTHER FUCKIN SCRAG,” I screamed back. No I didn’t.
“If you’re reversing onto a road, you have to give way to the traffic,” I said to Glen. “It’s the law.”
“Fuck ya stupid law, you stupid bitch,” the girlfriend said. “Is there a law against that?!”
“Sorry?” I retorted. “A law against what? Fucking a stupid law or being a stupid bitch?”
“Shuddup, Chantel,” Glen said, moving to block his girlfriend’s view. “This hasn’t got nothing to do wif you.”
I could tell by this time that all the fight had gone out of my little friend. He said something about getting me out of the vehicle and bashing my head in, but I could tell his heart wasn’t in it. I wound the window down, just a little.
“We’re so lucky we didn’t have an accident today, Glen,” I said pleasantly. “Watch behind you when you reverse out next time, okay?”
“Yeah, well, yeah, okay, whatever… bitch.”
I carefully reversed out and straightened up ready to go. As I pulled away, I gave a little ‘toot, toot’ and the finger to his scraggy girlfriend.
See, I’m a little bit grown up and just a little bit not…
Why does driving out the absolute worst in people?
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