Wanting our kids to be someone they’re not

Wanting to be someone you are not

Tess Bartlett from Whisperings of the mind wrote a post for Blog Society about comparison that blew my mind. So many insights from a very wise woman. Tess talks about using envy to absolve yourself of any responsibility for your own achievements. She says, “If you base your sense of meaning and accomplishment on what you don’t have, you are never going to feel any sense of fulfilment with what you do have.”

It made me wonder about the way some people parent their children, about how I parent my children. It’s easy to judge the father berating his son after the football match, telling him he wasn’t up to scratch – but if you look a little closer, that father’s longing to be raising the team superstar so obvious you have to look away. Or the mother who dismisses a credit score with a casual, “she’s capable of so much better” because, yes, mum was absolutely capable of so much better.

All the kids who are pushed into activities they are really not that into, their parents confusing their child’s joy at making mum and dad happy with a love of the activity itself. So the child plugs away at piano or ballet or even their maths, because doing well at those activities makes mum and dad’s eyes light up enough to hide the dullness in their own.

It comes from a good place, of course. We have dreams for our children based on our own experiences and dreams and we want to give them every opportunity we possibly can. We don’t want them to miss out on anything or be left behind in any way. Do we worry that if our child doesn’t fulfill their own potential that we will have failed to reach our own?

How often do we parent the child we think we want, rather than the child we actually have? How often do we miss out on the enjoyment of the person who is growing because we are too focused on the child we are parenting?

I know I am guilty of this, but I am working on it. I’m doing my absolute best to see my children as the people they are and working with them to discover what brings them joy. There is a part of me who desperately wants to raise society’s notion of “successful” people – the wealthy, powerful people who get to make the rules the rest of us follow – but  the bigger part of me knows that the only true success is being happier a great deal more often than not and the only way to achieve that is through knowing yourself without interference or judgement.

I have found that the most unhappy people seem to want to raise their children in the same way they were raised and I don’t understand that at all. As if by continuing to mold generation after generation in exactly the same way they will eventually find a person that the mold actually fits. Maybe they will get lucky – maybe one of them is raising a kid who is destined to be completely fulfilled by the pursuit of the dollar and the admiration of others but I have yet to meet a person like that, so I suspect that kid doesn’t actually exist.

There are many “successful” people in my life, but they are rarely the ones who confess to utter happiness after a few too many glasses of wine. They want something “different” for their children, but they will not – somehow cannot – give up the notion that their children need to be rich and powerful in order to be successful. They cannot give up the notion that they can somehow “build” a person rather than simply raise one.

So many parents fight their children’s choices and while that’s a necessity of the job when it comes to their safety or wellbeing, it is an ugly mistake when it comes to their sense of self and the value they bring. I want to focus on both my children’s “cans” and their “can’ts” – to listen when they mention either and be respectful of their choices. Are they telling me they “can’t” do something that I want them to do, or something they want to do? Am I noticing the things they can do enough?

I think it’s definitely time for me to stop comparing my children to the ideal I have in my head. Because I’m certain that if I don’t, comparison will definitely be the thief of joy.

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Comments

  1. says

    Beautiful words Bron. I’ve had to do the most letting go of what I want with our youngest but there’s so much more joy in embracing who she is and not who she should be.

  2. says

    Beautiful post. I think as parents we often do these things without even meaning to, and they also come from a place of love. You loved something and you want your kid to get the same enjoyment out of it that you did too – or maybe it was something you desperately wanted to do and your family said no or couldn’t afford it, so you want your child to have a better opportunity than you did.

    This doesn’t mean it’s right though, as you’ve said in your piece. I’m trying really hard to let my child be who she is meant to be and while I encourage her to give everything a go, I definitely let her guide me in what she wants to keep doing.

    • Maxabella says

      I definitely think it comes from a place of loving and nurturing, Christine. We try to do what’s “best’ from our own experience and our own dreams. I just want to make sure that I am always tapping into my children’s dreams more than my own!! x

  3. says

    A very powerful post Bron and something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I think part of our parenting is an effort to fill a void we felt in our own childhood. Whatever that may be. We push our own children to fill that old aching sense of something we may have missed out on or wish had been different when we were kids. I also “get” the parents who come from lives they deem less fortunate to the ones their children are living now and hence push their children to have and be all the things the didn’t have the chance to be. (I’m rambling and this is something I could write pages on) I often dwell on the question I will ask my kids one day “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And I more so dwell on the answer I expect them to reply – something along the lines of “I want to be happy and confident in my choices, I want to listen to my inner voice and let that be my ground zero” But then I stop myself – for this expected answer is just the same as expecting “doctor, soccer player or whatever” When I ask any question of my children – my job should be to listen and wait for their answer, whatever it may be – I am going to work on that. Sorry for the essay – great, thought provoking post xx

    • Maxabella says

      Your essay is most welcome – you have made me think some more. The way we formulate the answers to the questions before we even ask them… and perhaps we forget that that sense of yearning and struggle SHOULD be part of growing up, will always be part of growing up, no matter how much our parents might try to engineer things differently. x

    • Maxabella says

      Definitely more to ponder there – the building, rather than the raising. It has me thinking of the Amish raising barns for some reason. The barn is always there, in parts, but it takes the community to make it recognisable. Or something. Tangents. x

  4. says

    It’s so interesting isn’t it, this having expectations of ourselves and needing our children to perform as an extension of us. I had a funny thing happen when my kids were really little. My son was asking me all about my job (I’m a nurse) and then saying that when he grew up he wanted to be a nurse too. I don’t actually have any feelings about this one way or another, but as I turned away from the conversation my partner mouthed at me, “over my dead body!!’ It’ll be interesting to see where that conversation heads in the future!!

  5. says

    Good reminder! It’s one reason music lessons have fallen off the agenda for the moment – they were not worth it. What I find tricky is when you have a child like one of mine, who loves doing certain things but hates to fail. Working out when you are crossing the line between helping to overcome fear and develop persistence, and moving into pushiness, can be very difficult at times! Self reflection required!

    Oh, and Michelle – my husband is a nurse (after working in banking and hating it – it can be a great job irrespective of gender), but this career shift took his father some time to adjust to (I guess the struggle always exists between ‘doing the best for our kids’ and ‘living out kids’ lives for them’!)

    • Maxabella says

      I’m impressed that your husband threw in the banking job to follow his non-traditional passion, Helen. I reckon your kids will be absolutely fine!!! x

  6. says

    Perhaps a slight tangent but I’ve been thinking alot lately about Control. As my children are leaving the nest fast I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m not in control anymore. I’m thinking and processing more and more about letting go.

    Thinking about supporting our children to be who they are meant to be, not who we want them to be I venture to ask, how much of this is about control? Not necessarily meaning the word in a negative sense, wanting to control our children doesn’t always come from a negative place, defining control to include a desire to protect them, stretch them etc Now as parents we obviously have great power in building up or tearing down our precious people, but ultimately they will leave and ultimately they will make their own choices and that is healthy. We need to support them in who they are not what we want.

    Apologies, probably not sounding coherent and off on a tangent again. Situations of children’s friends playing on my mind at present.

    • says

      Hi Erin,
      Sorry to butt in but this is such an excellent point and so well realised. I left home 13 years ago and my parents still want to govern my choices. It’s really tough, and suffocating, and I feel like an enormous disappointment most of the time. Letting go and trusting that you have done your best to arm your kids with as many tools as they can carry is going to be the secret to a strong relationship with them in the future. Well done you.

      • says

        Nicole
        Butt away:):) So sad to hear you feel like that{{}}
        Trusting can be hard but good too once you past the hurdles of letting go

      • says

        So many of us adults feel we have let our parents down in some way (often because they outright tell us!). That can’t be right!! But you are definitely not alone, Nicole. x

    • Maxabella says

      Not at all, Erin. As always, you’ve totally added to the discussion. I agree that it’s about ‘control’, in that sense that we parents want to shield our kids from the hard stuff, without realising that the hard stuff is often the bit that develops character and resilience. Stepping back, even earlier than as they are ready to fly, can only do them good. The trick is – how? x

      • says

        Okay now you’ve got me off on another tangent. or rather I was thinking more. How do we strike the balance between supporting them to be their own-selves and encouraging them to be all they can be. To be clearer I’ll share a little about one son. He is what could be described as an anxious child, he has needed extra nurturing to support him to be all he could be. So in some ways he needs tending loving care, sometimes he needs a gentle of even firmer push. but in all this I need to express to him he is beautiful in who he is, there is nothing wrong in who he is. but I also need to equip him to thrive as much as he can too. A fine line.

        So he has really challenged me to let it go about being about me (thank goodness he isn’t my first) and to realise it is all about him.

        • says

          This is the bit i struggle with the most, Erin. Learning how to put a positive spin on what is essentially a criticism… how hard it is! How can we tell our kids they are awesome just the way they are and yet also show them that certain ways they go about things are less than ideal. Difficult!! Nod, like you, I’m mainly thinking of my anxious nod (first born, which makes it daunting). x

          • says

            Helen
            Bron has a way of making you think:)

            Bron,
            Know what you mean and I knew you’d get the whole anxious child thing;)
            Have read that we need to be giving 9 positives to 1 negative. So firstly I think we need to accept within ourselves that they were made that way and that is fine because I believe children pick up on the unspoken, they know. But then how to suggest they extend themselves without sending a message of criticism/non-acceptance? Lots of positive affirmation with gentle encouragement to try a new situation, new way of reacting etc.
            As I say so grateful he is my 7th and not 1st, I know I would have thought it all about me, my parenting etc. The freedom to know it’s him is immense. So I can get my ego out of the way and focus on helping him.

            • says

              re-read my ending could be taken the wrong way from how I meant it. Don;’t at all mean to imply this about anybody else but me, it is a comment about myself, my own personality and struggles.

          • Maxabella says

            I love it – I love how blogging allows us to discuss the issues with lots of different types of people, not just our “usual crew”. x

    • Maxabella says

      Hello there! Lovely to see you! I like it when my posts get me thinking too, Elisa. So easy not to think… x

  7. says

    I can honestly say that this is one path I have never travelled, and cost me lot’s of dollars trying 10 zillion different activities for my girls to find something they love. Physie is the one out of school activity that lasted the test of time, 7 years later one girls is still super passionate and the other is waning, but it’s her choice, if she wants out so be it, at least this time she stuck with it for than a week! Miss 18 is in her first year of Uni on her way to becoming a neurosurgeon, totally her idea, I never even made it to Uni. Miss 15 will probably head in to Psychology as she wants to help people. These are their plans and there choices, all I do is support them and love them with all my heart. xx N

  8. says

    Bron you have so much wisdom. I always said even as a teenager that as soon as I would be a mother I would allow my children to be who they want to be as opposed to who I want them to be. I think it can be fun discovering what your children enjoy and encouraging them to pursue it.

    • Maxabella says

      I agree, Bec – it is loads of fun getting to know our children as they grow into the people they were all along. I know I get caught up in ‘expectations’ more than I would like, but overall I always remember to take a step back and get myself back on track. To guide, rather than to build. x

  9. says

    I am so in love with this post. One of the advantages of having a child that was just never going to fit the mould is that I have had to go on this journey of discovery in order to be able to raise him. It’s absolutely changed my life! We are raising a generation of children for whom the world is changing so rapidly that we cannot predict their future. We’re probably the first generation of parents to ever have to do this. We need new ways to parent – working with who our children “are” rather than who “we’d like them to be” probably has the best chance of them actually growing up to be successful adults. Hoping we can have a lot more of these discussions too! (PS. ADORE the pic!!!)

    • Maxabella says

      Yours is such an interesting perspective, Cath. I wonder if the square peg kids really do end up being more resilient than the round kids because they, and their parents, have to make their own way. In a way it would be rather refreshing to be ‘different’ already because then you can just be who you are and STILL be ‘different’. I quite like that. x

  10. says

    Lovely Bron, such a heartfelt post :) I would love to see my girls grow up and follow their dreams. Popette (5.5) has already told us that when she grows up she wants to be a teacher, vet, ice cream shop owner, magician and Zoo keeper….I’m not sure how she’s going to fit it all in 😉

  11. says

    Yes! Parent the child you have. Not the one you hoped for, or the one you were. But to do that we’ve really got to listen to our kids. And let their answers just be, and not try to influence them, or twist them, or ignore them. Like you’ve said, we need to respect them.

    I think sometimes, by the time we get to parenthood we are so battle weary from life, that we just want our littlies, the ones we love more than anything ever, to skip all that hardness and life lessons, even if they have given us wisdom and perspective. We don’t want our kids to have the same regrets, or we want them to love something as much as we did. Wouldn’t it be great if upon entering the world, through our DNA or something, our kids already had some innate knowledge of the mistakes we’d made, so they didn’t have to learn them themselves? No such luck

    • Maxabella says

      No such luck. Your comment has actually sparked something in me that I can’t quite formulate to respond – something about the importance of the being battle weary. Mistakes – the things we try to avoid most in the world – they have made us who we are today. Would we really want to avoid them? And we know for certain that the mistakes our children will make will be different to the ones we made – as they must. I just don’t know. I’m going to have to do some more thinking on this one. x

      • says

        Yeah, it’s tricky… Like that saying of having no regrets because it’s made you who you are today. Except… Even if we are happy with our lives now, and we can see the silver linings, there are still some mistakes – or even more broadly, situations we’ve found ourselves in, circumstances that happened upon us – that we just wouldn’t wish on anyone, let alone our children. Even if it means it’s made us who we are. If I’m honest, I want mistakes and hardships for my kids, just *not as bad as mine*. That probably makes me an (emotionally speaking) cotton-wool parent…

        • Maxabella says

          Maybe, maybe not, but, like you, I am suspicious of anyone who claims they have ‘no regrets’. I regret many things, all of them things that hurt others along the way. Do the ‘no regrets’ people factor in the way they have also made OTHER PEOPLE who THEY are today as well? I think not…

          All I know is this: we guide, we support, we nurture, we hope and we love with all our might, but we cannot live it for them. x

  12. says

    Wasn’t Tess’ article wonderful! I immediately wrote to her to tell her so. As i am writing to you know :)
    You make so many good points. I think people natural try to shape those they are closest to because that has always been their experience- both with partners and kids. I have caught myself a number of times trying to shape my partner into what I think he should be doing or striving for. Even though I have a very mixed appraisal of how I was raised, I apply those same principles to him. Fortunately I am aware of it and try very hard not to. As you said, I think that is the crux of it, people just follow the template they were given by their parents without stepping outside themselves for a moment and asking ‘is this really the best thing for her/him?’
    Your reference to the piano really hit home- I learnt the piano for years and years (and years) because my Poppa loved the piano so much and it made him so happy that I played. I only ever wanted a violin. Now i don’t play anything because I don’t have skills in a instrument i am passionate about (and who can afford violin lessons these days!), I think that is really sad.
    Your kids, and those of everyone who has commented above, are very lucky. You can’t necessarily change your template but having an awareness that it might not fit the little humans you are raising, and trying to step back occasionally will make so much difference in allowing them to achieve the breadth of their potential.

    • Maxabella says

      For me it was the organ, Nicole. If only it had been the piano, because that’s what I wanted to play, but my mother loved the organ so much and… well, we should never underestimate the power we actually have over our children’s choices. x

  13. says

    Great post Bron – I wonder sometimes whether I try to ‘build’ my kids because I didn’t birth them – whether subconsciously because they don’t ‘take after me’ (lucky, in lots of ways, for them) that I try to mould them instead to ‘be like me’. Our son is still so young, but with our daughter I do find myself wanting her to like things I like so that commonality can bring us closer and being disappointed when she doesn’t, even though I don’t want to compromise the person she can be. It’s a hard road this parenting.

    • Maxabella says

      It is indeed, Kathy. If it’s any consolation, I can pretty much guarantee that any parent could write this, not just adoptive parents!! x

  14. says

    This is such a thought provoking post bron. I have really strong thoughts on this. So much so I think I need to think on it and blog myself. If that’s cool with you.

  15. says

    Growing up I had a lot of pressure from my parents to be the person they wanted me to be. My Dad wanted me to be an optometrist and study all of the maths and subjects I needed to get me there. I had to beg my teacher to talk to my parents to get me out of chemistry and let me do ancient history instead, but I was still forced to do the harder version of maths. I of course received a low achievement. When I left school I wanted to be a psychologist. You should have heard what my Dad said about that. I don’t want this to be a bagging out on my parents session because I love them so much. I just wish they let me make my own decisions. Perhaps even led the way and let me make up my own mind .. for these reasons I will not push my children into anything they don’t want to do. I will keep an open mind and encourage them to pursue the activities and hobbies they love – not me.

    • says

      That’s tough, Renee, but so good of you to recognise that you don’t need to raise your kids the same way you were raised (and with respect to your parents, I mean that purely about the “ambitions” side of things!). x

    • says

      I was the same Renee! My school made me do Maths 1 even though I didn’t understand it and spent twice as much time studying it than I did any of my other subjects. When I asked to change down to the lower maths they said no because I was an A student in every other subject – I just wasn’t trying hard enough :( They didn’t seem to get that all those other subjects were either language, drama or humanities subjects! I got a Low Achievement too so it was just a ridiculous waste of time.

  16. says

    Brilliant post as always, Bron. I have thought about this topic a few times and it made me think about when I was growing up. I really do feel that that path I took when I was younger had a lot to do with what I thought my parents wanted, I did subjects they thought would get me a better OP and eventually I found myself on a path where I was not happy, I was trying to be successful in areas I didn’t enjoy and that just doesn’t work. Fast forward a number of years and I’ve put that aside and focused on what I really love doing and that’s lead to my success and happiness. Although my son is still very young, I will support him in whichever direction he chooses, to me I would rather him pick subjects and extra curricular activities that he enjoys as opposed to the ones that will lead to the ‘better opportunities’ because in the end I am a big believer in that if you find something that you love and do it well, it will bring with it success without you even trying.

    • Maxabella says

      This is a really interesting point, Eva, because I was exactly the same. My parents didn’t push me into anything in particular career-wise, but I pushed myself! I went in a direction that I was never 100% happy in, but I plowed on regardless because I wanted to be a”success”. I guess it’s important to me to let my children know that there are all kinds of ways to be a success, not just the media’s notion of what it is. x

  17. says

    Oh Bron, what a thought provoking post. Sometimes it scares me, what a huge responsibility we have as parents!
    I would love to have gone into something creative when I left school, but that wasn’t seen as a worthy choice. Fine for a hobby, but a job? No way!
    I truly hope we give Bell a good balance of encouragement and guidance, when it’s time for her to start thinking seriously about what she wants to do. She’s naturally drawn to both music and art, and I would love it SO much if she followed either of these paths, but you just don’t know what will influence their decisions, do you?
    We’ve always told her that she can be absolutely anything she wants, ever since she was a toddler. I was a bit concerned when she was deciding between a tree, policeMAN or princess, but hey, you never know where life’s going to take you :)
    Both John and I pretty much rebelled against family expectations, and I really hope she never feels like she has to do the same.
    You’re really making me think with this one, young lady xx

  18. Eliza says

    I enjoyed reading this very much. I was reflecting, though, that I think I made a lucky escape. When my eldest was 1, I remember reading an article titled “Coping with having a child who is of average intelligence.” The BS meter went off so loudly my husband and I decided this was a totally ridiculous thing to worry about and let them be anything, so long as it is kind. AND, by the way, I am of “average intelligence” and I do just fine!

    .

    • Maxabella says

      What a load of bollocks! As if “average” is ever something to be “coped with” – average is awesome. All kinds of things are awesome. I think these kinds of silly articles have a lot to do with why we push and push… they make it seem like people are nothing if they are not exceptional when we all know that people are exceptional just because they are themselves. x

  19. says

    Guilty Bron. My Flynn is so different to the Flynn I had in my head and I need to learn to just go with him rather than try to make him conform to be more like his brothers… something he is not xx

  20. says

    I try very hard not to push my ideas/loves on to my kids but it’s tricky, however, they seem to be finding their own groove. I certainly haven’t got them in to much stuff yet as are still quite young and will wait until they show signs of what they love. In saying that I think I am a little bit hard on my daughter because I think she should be a certain way… thanks for thought provoking post x

  21. says

    I read a book earlier in the year about a woman who had grown up in an abusive household. One thing that she mentioned when talking about her own desires to be a mother is that sometimes abused children are the most dangerous parents because they only know that they don’t want to do as a parent, and no what they do want to do. I don’t come from an abusive household but I found so much truth in her statement. There are a lot of things that I disagree with about the way that my parents raised me and continue to raise my brother (he’s 15) but I also feel like I am fumbling along because all of the parents I do have to look up to, are in the same age group as myself. I know that there is no one answer to being a ‘successful’ parent, but I feel like I have more ‘don’t’ than ‘do’.

    • Maxabella says

      That’s a really astute observation, Tegan and it has my mind firing! More ‘don’t’ than ‘do’. Mind if I write about that soon? x

  22. says

    Great post! As parents I am sure all of us meant well and want the best for our children, but sometimes what we feel is best may not actually be the best for them Comparing is also unfortunately human nature – something like yourself I am very much trying very hard to work on and to start with not compare the girls with each other as they are both rather different. At the end of the day, all of us parents want our child to be happy – that I believe is very true.

    • Maxabella says

      I have learnt over the years that I need to be a different sort of parent for each of my children. I try to be fair, but they definitely each respond to a different ‘style’. x

  23. says

    I was definitely raised to be a “successful” person. Ballroom dancing lessons, boarding school, Ivy League college, yada yada yada. I didn’t mind it at the time…it was the same path all my friends were on so it seemed totally normal…and quite frankly I am grateful for it now that I recognise how much my parents sacrificed for my sister and I to have what they thought was best. However I am more grateful for the fact that I didn’t end up being a “successful” person. I am so happy being a part time nurse. And a sometimes childbirth educator. And a pseudo blogger. And of course a mother.
    I think learning that lesson myself has taught me a lot about how I want to parent my son…I honestly just want him to be a happy, well adjusted, well mannered kid who grows into a happy, well adjusted, well mannered adult.

    • Maxabella says

      Amen to that, Caitlin. I wish that for all kids and all parents and what a wonderful world it would be. x

  24. says

    Oh lordy, how important is it for us as parents to get over this? I think we all do it. Want our children to be “our ultimate” but in coaching for this we may be steering them away from their real potential. A potential that we could be just as proud of, maybe even more.
    Parenting is so complex. We must be aware of how we are molding these individuals every single day. Thank you for making me think in the way I need to be x

    • Maxabella says

      It is such a toughie to find the balance between guiding and living it for them, Vicki. But find it we must! x

  25. says

    Such a tricky one isn’t Hun? Oh my, I popped over from your rewind posts when you said you were having challenges and if those who knew you would know you were being nice in your description. I felt every syllable of that, I feel like I’ve been in the trenches the last six months parenting my eldest Cohen (5yo). We are facing challenges that are a bigger than us with him, but boy oh boy that unique fella of mine I try my darnedest to parent a child who is himself to the core. But it’s a hard job, with what we want sometimes out of them. I just breath sometimes and remember the greatest thing that has ever been said to me is that the finest example I was giving him of being true to oneself and different was ME……when you hear that it kind absolves all your other conflicted thoughts.

    • says

      I know. I know, I know, I know all about the problems that seem bigger than us, yet somehow we grow big enough to solve them for another day. x

  26. says

    Powerful post. So many take aways. This struck a chord with me…

    “They cannot give up the notion that they can somehow “build” a person rather than simply raise one.”

    Yes, yes, yes ‘parent the child you have’ there lies the years of joy and fulfilment for all. Great post x

  27. says

    I read something beautiful the other day, about how true love and freedom is just letting the person be who they are. I’m in control of me, and if I’m confident in that, I shouldn’t feel the need to force others to think or act the way I want them to do, but give them freedom to be themselves. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot, and how to actively apply it in my life, especially with my kids.

  28. says

    Bron, I’ve just finished this month’s Pink Fibro club book ‘Us’. Possibly in part due to this post, I think saw the issue raised here in your post and subsequent comments in terms of the relationship between the father and son – it’s a good read.

  29. Gill says

    About two years ago I was worried my son was too quiet at school. For some reason I related quiet to lonely and sad. I voiced my worries to my boss (a lady in her early 60s seemingly filled with never ending snippets of wisdom) who asked me if I might be reflecting my own self doubts onto my child. She them said “All you have to do is love your child for exactly who he is and accept him the way he is.” She said otherwise I might indirectly teach him that quiet is something bad, therefore sending the message that he must strive to be something different. It was the best (and simplest) parenting advice I’ve ever had. Lovely to read your lovely posts again.

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  1. […] Happy Hallowe’en, everyone!I hope you all enjoyed your October. I enjoyed mine – I even enjoyed my impromptu bloggy break in the middle of the month, when sick kidlets, writing deadlines and the general busyness of life got in the way.It got in the way of web reading too, so my top web reads list is a little shorter this month. But no less impressive – enjoy.—-Family and lifeGet over yourself. Kids still play.I adored this blog post from Bianca at Bigwords. It’s a response to the constant fearmongering about how children these days aren’t exposed to the things we were exposed to in ‘the good old days’, and how technology is killing creativity. Particularly loved this: “Kids are smarter than that. Will someone please give kids some credit. Kids know how to play.”Wanting our kids to be someone they’re not […]

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