This bee backpack has been smiling at me all holidays. Hello, says the bee, I’m a useful backpack and I’m ridiculously happy. Life doesn’t get much better than a bee backpack.
The bee is summing up how I feel about the school break. It’s a constant reminder that the school hols are fleeting. I’ve blinked and pretty much missed them. How is it that they are ending next week? For the first time ever, I don’t want my kids leaving me to go back to school. I feel somehow lonely just thinking about it.
Of course, this is only because I’m currently in Stage 4 of the school holidays. By early next week, I’ll have morphed through to Stage 6 and all will be well with the world.
Stage 1 – Frantic denial
We know that there are six weeks of full-time kid-care coming up but we deny it throughout November and well into December. The kids finish school on the Friday and by Sunday afternoon we are frantically ringing around trying to find a carer to take them until we can put in our application for leave at work. Many of us bury ourselves so fully in the denial stage that School Holiday Denial merges with Christmas Denial (cue frantic phone calls trying to track down a leg ham / turkey / goose / chicken / whatever you’ve got that will feed 13 on Christmas Eve). If you find School Holiday Christmas Denial merging with New Year Denial, it’s time to make some frantic phone calls to find some professional help.
Stage 2 – Happy relief
Some time just after Christmas we sag in a heap, only lifting ourselves out of our summer stupor to smile mildly at the kids showing off in the pool. We are so utterly relieved to not have to get up in the morning to do the school run that we happily put up with the kids “look at me, mums” all day, every day, forever. “Look at me, kids” you languidly call back. “I’m doing absolutely nothing here on my sun lounger and I couldn’t be happier.” This kind of happy lounging goes hand-in-hand with a new kind of fantasy: we have staff doing all the jobs we’re not doing right now. So many, many staff.
Stage 3 – Latent adolesent frustration
Sadly we can’t sun-lounge forever and the combination of a few days of rain, an oversupply of Christmas presents and an under-supply of workable storage soon finds us quietly climbing the hand-smudged walls while we face the reality of No Staff, Not Even One. The Happy Relief stage is a distant memory as we break up fight-after-sibling-fight, screeching, “why can’t you all just get along” and retreating to our room with an immature door slam. Once allocated to the children, Time Outs are now the exclusive domain of mum. “Don’t talk to me, I’m in Time Out,” we call from behind the closed door. “But Jane is hogging the red teeeexta,” they wail. “Use my blood instead,” you hiss. “What?” they call. “Nothing, I’ll be right out…”
Stage 4 – Strange bliss
Somewhere between the sun lounger and the sibling rivalry we find a shaky peace. With a bit of luck, Stage 4 is the longest stage in the school holidays, although sadly many of never make it here. The kids have realised that whinging is getting them absolutely nowhere and that if they want to see their mother outside of her bedroom they are going to have to agree on a sibling truce. All that lying down in Time Out has finally cured your term-time ADHD and you can stay still long enough to read at least a chapter of your holiday book. The kids play harmoniously, you read luxuriously and supply food at regular intervals and the holidays tick by nicely. You start to think that you’ll miss the kids when they go back to school and whole minutes can go by before they ruin that fantasy with an outbreak of “he did / she didn’t / I wasn’t / she touched me”. You start planning Family Time and having Family Meetings to make Family Resolutions. You are a Unit.
Stage 5 – Re-entry panic
As school gets closer we start to panic. We’ve completely forgotten how school works and the kids don’t even remember what grade they are in. “I’m going to be in Year 3, no wait, 4… maybe 2… something.” The thought of having to get up in the morning before 9am is horrific and every time you see the words “lunch box” you are filled you with fresh terror. Home schooling starts appearing in your sepia-coloured dreams again, but the thought of having to oversee the Maths curriculum soon sees the kids trying on their uniforms, a sight that leaves you teary and in need of a quick Time Out. For better or worse, this Unit is going back to school.
Stage 6 – Back to normal
First day back and you’re up with the larks at 5.02 am putting the finishing touches on the school bags, lunch boxes, uniforms and handmade welcome-back-teacher gifts. This is the year where you are going to get it right. This is the year where everything will run smoothly. This is the year that if the school gave out merit awards for Families Who Get It Right First Time Every Time, your Unit would be boss. By 7.37am you have everything ready to go and a saucepan of wholesome porridge bubbling comfortingly away on the stove. By 9.02am the kids are woken by the smell of burnt porridge just fast enough to use the fire extinguisher to douse the flames. You’ve fallen asleep in a lunch box, your head gently nestled against an organic-vegetarian-gluten-slash-sugar-taste-free frittata wrap. You still have egg in your hair when you schlep the kids into Front Office for a late note at 9.42 am. “Sleep in?” the admin woman asks smugly. “I’d love one,” you chirp merrily.
What stage are you in right now?
Jo @Countrylifeexperiment says
Right now I’m in denial… about having to go back. I love school holidays, though part of that may be because I’m a teacher. I like to pretend I don’t have to go back until the very last possible minute.
Maxabella says
Yep, being a teacher would give you a completely different set of stages, Jo! x
Emily says
I’m not at this stage yet, but oh how I laffed. I do have two bright and early starts this year for kinder days. I’ll get a little taste of the chaos to come. x
Maxabella says
A little taste to savour, ready for the onslaught!! x
Mardi says
I am absolutely loving being in your aptly named Stage 4. My boys have been happily creating their Lego masterpieces for the last couple of hours. This meant that I could actually cook a batch of muffins and biscuits in one hit. Stage 5 is setting in for me, as I return to work on Thursday and have that feeling that we haven’t done as much as I thought we would. Oh well, there are always the next holidays!
Maxabella says
Sounds like bliss at your place indeed, Mardi. These are the days that we work so hard for and they are worth every single moment. x
Talia says
Bahaha! “use my blood” Baha!! So good.
My kids are still too little for school holidays, so they are still more of an inconvenience to me – “Why are there so many children out and about, and where have all the parking spots gone?!”, but also good because my teacher friends are on holidays too and I can do some day time activities with them! Lol!
Maxabella says
Before kids we used to love the holidays as it reduced peak hour traffic significantly. And then, of course, we always timed our holidays to be during term time to avoid the dreaded children! Oh, how times have changed. x
Simone @greatfun4kids says
Lingering in stage four and nervously eyeing stage five…? We have two more weeks of holidays left, and I wish it was longer. Truly. This was a fab post Bron! Made me smile and nod xx
Maxabella says
There have been so many mums saying that they are enjoying these hols, Sim. Usually we are bombarded with the ‘when are they gooooing baaaaaack’ crowd, so it’s just so nice. x
Erin says
You had me giggling throughout:) Stage? Well I’m the nutty homeschool mum who started lessons again a week and a half ago (yep can’t believe I started back early) cause I was sooo craving routine.
Maxabella says
You are crazy. The end. x
Mother Down Under says
I have been so spoiled because C’s childcare provided food.
I have to do lunches this year!
Sob!
I am in denial…must get a lunch box, must think about what to pack.
Maxabella says
I would love to tell you that it’s going to be okay but… sigh… I just can’t. The lunch boxes are the worst bit and you are signing on for years and years and years. I’m sorry. So very sorry. x
Amanda @ Cooker and a Looker says
Oh Bron. I’m stuck in Stage 5. I have pencil label issues and I’m running out of time!
Proper first-world house-wife problems. So trivial but ESSENTIAL according to the school and because I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot with the Big Sister’s teacher, I’ll be camped next to the letter box on Friday willing them to come!
Maxabella says
I have never labelled a pencil in my life… I figure that if one goes missing, they can use a different colour? Or something. x
Rachel_OurTownBrisbane says
I have already been spoken to sternly by my soon-to-be Year 2 son. I didn’t label his pencils last year and he has politely but SPECIFICALLY requested that this year I up my game and do just that.
Apparently (and I quote) if there are two yellow pencils on a table, how is he to know which one is his? This situation was the cause of a diplomatic incident between him and his on and off girlfriend Eva last year and I think he is keen not to repeat it.
I resisted the urge to tell him he got the wrong type of mother for that sort of request – 6 is too young to be disillusioned with me just yet
Maxabella says
LOL – oh the dramas, Rachel. I guess I rely on other mothers being far more diligent than me. Then I can just point out that the yellow pencil without a name would be my kid’s by default… 🙂 x
Natalie nightienightlane.com says
I’m still in stage 4 even though today is 2 kids, 2 friends, 2 builders, 1 builders kid and 1 dog. Love school holidays.
Maxabella says
Full house at hour place, Natalie! x
Reannon @shewhorambles says
Both my big boys are in high school this year- one into year 10 & one into year 7. Neither are enthusiastic about returning. I am hovering between needing them to have some sort of structure during the day, because things are VERY loose & relaxed around here lately, & wanting holidays to last longer because the thought of ironing uniforms, making lunches & dragging reluctant kids out of bed makes me sad.
Maxabella says
It makes me very sad too. The clock rules term time and I hate it. But look at you with your big kids. You are doing it! x
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
Love this, I’m in contact hell, need new school bags and have to get some baking done! Can’t see it happening. x
Maxabella says
I suppose, technically, we have all year… no? x
Lara @ This Charming Mum says
Oh, so very true! We’re wavering between 3 and 4 depending on the day right now, but 5 is just around the corner. I’m trying to make sure I savour the memory of zoo trips and days at the beach and block out the fights and possibly permanent stain on the carpet! Only a few months until we do it all again 🙂
Maxabella says
See, I figure we have the weekends to keep the love alive. x
Min@WriteoftheMiddle says
You nailed all the stages so well Bron! I’m in the Stage of ‘no kids as school anymore’ which is kinda sad in one way but brilliant in another. 😉
Maxabella says
I half-envy you madly, Min. The other half is a bit sad. x
Mandy, Barbie Bieber and Beyond says
I’m completely in denial, I don’t want school to go back. I am enjoying the lack of routine the sleep in’s and the no lunches. The fighting I can do without though…. Give me another 3 weeks and I may be ready…school shopping this week Arrrggghhhh!
Maxabella says
The thing is, we still need to do the good, just not in such a contained manner… wouldn’t you love a complete break from the food? I’d take a chef for a week over a cleaner for a year. x
Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life says
Re-entry panic started today with a visit to OfficeWorks. Three kids all picking out what they claim to need and $300 later, dozens of books to cover, everything to label, and me back at work! Yep, that puts me squarely in re-entry panic mode!
Maxabella says
We used the Officeworks school list service and it was a dream run. I love that place. x
Vicki @ Boiled Eggs & Soldiers says
Love this. I think I’m at stage 4 but only because we all had the whole day apart from each other today and I didn’t have to referee the constant bickering that has been building over the last week! Stage 5 lunch box dread has been creeping into my thoughts though and I did buy a sharpie pen with the intention of labelling something, someday! I will miss them when they go back though I think.
Maxabella says
I think we are matching, This is exactly how I feel. Although I can’t quite work out if my reluctance to see them go is because I’ll miss them or if I’m just terrified of the school routine… bit of both? x
Deb @ inner compass designs says
Love this Bron. I am in stage 4 with nothing ready for school yet and loving our Summer. This is the first year it has flown by in a mostly blissful state (interrupted by the fighting and asking me to check out their minecraft creations while I am enjoying my own playtime). Xxx
Maxabella says
If you’re getting play time, you are totes in Stage 4!! x
Malinda @mybrownpaperpackages says
Ha ha – so this is what I have to look forward to at the end of my first year as a school mum. 🙂
Maxabella says
Do I seem resigned? x
EssentiallyJess says
I’m in bliss! I’m loving it and but also feeling a little sad that the kids seem to barely need me these days and keep each other company. It means I get lots done though 🙂
Maxabella says
I’m not sad about that bit, Jess. That’s like a reward… x
Helen K says
I feel like I move through many stage within one day! I think part of the issue for me is expectations – it will be our holiday as well as the kids, but that means compromise. Just trying to focus on the good, and not focus on the irritants (and loving the fact that we pick up our stationary from school). And the teacher welcome gifts – that’s a joke, right??? (I’m going with yes – phew!)
Maxabella says
Yep, huge joke. Although, of course, as soon as I wrote it I thought, “Oh how nice” because I am crazy like that. x
Tash @ Gift Grapevine says
Stage 3 for us! So much sibling fighting. I too have uttered the “why can’t you just get along?” phrase a number of times. Two more weeks to go. Pass the wine please!
Maxabella says
Ugh, siblings are horrible things. 🙂
Renee Wilson says
Lol! Well I am still another year off my eldest starting prep, so I’ll enjoy this time while I can. I can just picture me going through all of these stages when the time comes though. I laughed out loud with stage three. #teamIBOT
Maxabella says
If only stage 3 were even remotely funny. Sigh. I just hope your darlings defy the laws of nature and are nice and kind to each other, Renee. It does happen. x
Lisa says
I am somewhere between stages 4 & 5…we are taking a week off to go camping before school starts (WA school holidays) so hopefully the state of bliss will be extended for a few more days yet!
Maxabella says
That’s such a good idea to holiday the week before re-entry. We are off down the coast for the long weekend and I can’t wait. x
Erika @ Ever-changing Life of a Mum says
Hmmm appears I’m at Stage 5. Despite plenty of bickering and fighting between my two girls over the holidays, I am still enjoying my lazy morning starts and not needing to be anywhere at any particular time too much to want to change back to the school morning rush. I’m certainly not looking forward to making school lunches every day. But my youngest starts school this year and she is SUPER excited about going to school so that should nudge me along into the final phase!
Maxabella says
The early days of lunches is actually pretty cool, Erika. I was much more experimental and awesome back in the day. Not so much these days. Best wishes for a happy start for your little one. x
Lucy @ Bake Play Smile says
Hehehe I love this!! Mind you, can I just say that from a teachers perspective the 6 stages of school holidays are very, very different lol!!!
Maxabella says
I bet they are!!! You’re not going back this year, though, are you? x
Lydia C. Lee says
I’m still in denial that we’re even going back next week….say it ain’t so!!
Maxabella says
It ain’t so? I ‘m very tempted to ignore it altogether… but then, no kid really wants to miss the first day back!!
Lauren @ Create Bake Make says
While I’m not at the school stage yet, I wasn’t quite ready for my boys to start back at kindy this week. We were well and truly in stage four and I wasn’t quite ready to let go of it.
Tessa - Down that Little Lane says
I am stage 4 but I only do stage 5 on first week of school and don’t think I have reached Stage 6 🙂
Penny at Mother Natured says
What a giggle, it’s so true! You’ll need to write one for the school year too.
First term – Brilliant lunch maker (baked fresh and all)
Second Term – Starting to become slack at lunches but there’s still 3/4 good food in the lunch box and you’re getting money and permission slips for programs in on time.
Third term – The only good part of lunch is an apple. Only just getting program money and permissions slips back in on time. Trying to stretch the shoes so they last another 6 months.
Last term – who cares, it’s almost over!
Amanda says
I love this post!! You’ve absolutely nailed it with your stages – hilarious!!