I had a really crappy thing happen to me on Wednesday and it knocked the wind right out of me. You know when you’re sailing along with the sunshine warming your back, the shoreline getting hazier behind you and life stretching out in front across an ocean of possibility and then OOOMPH.
You get hit from behind and down you go, scrambling, capsized, unable to pull yourself out of the black, unfathomable water and back onto the boat.
Well, that’s how I felt on Wednesday and though it was a small thing, a very small thing really, I’m embarrassed to admit that part of me sank like a stone. I wanted to abandon the boat altogether and just swim my little heart out back to the comforting shore instead. That shore was what I knew and the vastness of the ocean suddenly made me feel like I was well out my depth.
But then, something happened. Instead of feeling all the feelings (so many feelings) that I usually feel when someone takes away my wind (I’m not good enough, I deserve to be criticised, I’m hopeless at everything anyway, yep, all those feelings) instead I just started to float across the lot of it. Floating was good. I floated away from the unfair criticism, I floated from the unkind tone, the unfairness of it all; the self-righteousness of people – I floated away from the lot.
From way out there, that ocean suddenly started to look a lot more manageable. By taking in the bigger picture, I realised that life in general is actually pretty manageable.
Be kind, be true, be humble and whenever you can, make the people around you feel like they matter.
It’s not that hard, is it? Just be fucking nice.
Other things that had me this week:
Reading – inspired by the exuberant Quett at Olympus, two of my favourite photography blogs: Click it up a Notch and Digital Photography School (hi Darren, loved the Problogger Sydney day on Tuesday!)
Writing – Daily tips about being screen free (are you bored with my screen free obsession yet?)
Making – plans.
Wishing – everyone was nice. Sorry about all the swearing up there, but it felt necessary.
Loving – Uberkate and strong friendships.
Wondering– why everything has to be so hard.
You know someone who is really nice? And smart? And funny? And just the right amount of oddball? Carly from Smaggle, that’s who. Our lovely guest hostie this week is one of Australia’s blogging superstars and someone who I’m lucky to have met IRL many times. You can be lucky enough to meet Carly too because she’s hosting her Little Blog Big Melbourne workshop with Christina, another one of the good ones, next week. Go if you possibly can – these two clever cookies can teach you much about taming the wiley ways of blogging. In the meantime, pop over and say hi to Smags on her blog!
Happy reading.
x
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Amy @ HandbagMafia says
Just be fucking nice. I might borrow that line for the next time someone puts me down for no reason because you’re right- it’s really not hard at all.Surely being a snarky cow is more difficult??
Maxabella says
Surely!! I know it seems naive and like I about 5 years old, but I just don’t understand why people are so darn nasty. It bewilders me daily!!! x
Simone @greatfun4kids says
And WHO could be mean to YOU bron? You’re so NICE! x
Maxabella says
Ha! I try, Simone, I really try. x
Denyse says
Hi Bron… It’s been a better week chez Denyse and I wrote about the F word today…. I’ve had a recent spate of crappy le crap in my head and it’s given me the shits..literally. Fortunately I have those inner resources as well as that inner critic and was able to get myself out of the way of the negative. JUST LIKE YOU DID….
Mind you, as I know this can be my default when I allow it, I’m making some changes already. Like a reading more about mindfulness & meditation & taking mini time outs in a.m. and p.m. I am giving less to others!!! This is a biggie. I really am pleased that at 65 I am finally learning to be the me I want to be (and no, it is NOT from those memes, I really AM and I LIKE me more for it)
Best go now before I bore you more. Love you and your work..of course!! Denyse xx
Maxabella says
I know you’ve had a rough few weeks, den, but it feels like this is going to be a pivotal year for you! Maybe 65 is one of the ‘transitional’ years, like turning 5 or 10? It really seems like you’re ripping off a few old band-aids and sorting out what’s underneath. I hope to always be like that too – I don’t want to be a ‘plasterer’, I want to be a brickie!!! x
PS – you are never boring so stop.
Helen K says
Floating is good – a lot can drift past you without causing any impact that way. Glad you were able to (and the week improved too) x
Maxabella says
Indefinitely going to working on my floating skills from now on. So much more relaxing than frantically swimming to fix things. x
Bele @ BlahBlah says
Yay for floating over the bullshit. Some people a strange. I don’t like it when nasty people prick the bubble of people I like. And on other annoying things, I’m sorry I missed you on Tuesday. It will happen you know x
Maxabella says
It was a crying shame and certainly did nothing to improve my crappy week!!! Let’s just get back onto the diary coordination project… x
Lauren @ The Thud says
WHO was mean to you!? WHO???? People are arseholes. But people are also really really lovely. I think there are more lovelies than arseholes, but sometimes the arseholes are louder.
Sometimes the only way to deal with them is to feel sorry for them. It must be awful to be them and be so bitter and miserable all the time.
I’m sorry you had a shit day. Try to focus on the lovelies. They deserve more of your time and attention xxxx
Maxabella says
The lovelies always pull us out in the end, don’t they? I agree that there is plenty more good in the world than bad. That’s why the bad has to shout so darn loud to be heard!!! x
Sara | Kid Magazine says
Jerks hate it when you float above them so keep on floating! Sorry you had such a shitty week. On another note, how amazing is Uberkate. I don’t go out without my Uberkate necklace 🙂
Maxabella says
I LOVE her stuff. It has such a feeling of luxury without being pretentious. Perfection. x
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
Looks like someone didn’t get Kid President’s memo that said “be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.” I hate that someone knocked the wind from your sails and made some waves, but I love how you floated and rose above it. Whatever the size of the picture you’re looking at, just remember, you matter. People who are mean do not. The End. PS. Hope your weekend is sweet sailing! x
Maxabella says
So true, Sammie. That Kid President makes a lot of sense. x
Dani @ sand has no home says
Ah, the floating. Floating is good. I need to float too, right over the top of it all. I hope that your weekend is easier x
Maxabella says
I plan to float all weekend, Dani! x
Sonia Life Love Hiccups says
I am going to hug you so hard next week hun and damn it you are so right – it is NOT FUCKING hard to just be nice. Here for you anytime beautiful – anytime at all xx
Maxabella says
Thanks my darling friend. x
Zoe Meunier says
Well, that sucks. Why are people so revolting? I don’t even know what they’ve done but I already want to slap them around the chops on your behalf. It’s so easy to say ‘don’t let horrible people get to you’ but much harder to do it in the moment. So, go the float!
Maxabella says
When confronted by unfairness, I just get so upset when I want to be strong. I annoy myself! I’m hoping that if I work on my floating, down the track I might just be able to stand up for myself a bit more. x
Erin says
Bron
Hugs, now chant to yourself, “I am 40 and I am strong, I don’t care, – let it gooooo”
Well started doing my blog tour series…hoping still you might do some more, hint, hint;)
Maxabella says
I’m learning to float, but I ain’t got wings? Or something?!? I WILL DO another blog tour. x
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
Oh FFS, what do they get out of it?!!! I just can’t get my head around the whole mean thing……
Floating is awesome Bron, I highly recommend it xx
Maxabella says
Ha! Agree! WHY be so mean? It’s an ego-protection thing or maybe an ego-feed thing, but all I know is that people go much better in life once they park their ego in the back lot. x
Vicki @ Boiled Eggs & Soldiers says
Lovely lady you are so right to rise above it and float away. I think with people who are mean it’s more about what they are miserable about than the person they are directing their meanness towards. Don’t let it bring you down far more positive things going on for you and it was so lovely to meet you on Tuesday. xx
Maxabella says
I consider that an “almost” meet, Vicki. I’m hoping to get together properly soonest. x
Sasha @ From the Left Field says
“Just be fucking nice”. This. So much. I know what you mean with that wind being knocked out of your sails feeling. But you know what? You rose above it by floating along- that’s big! That’s the ultimate middle finger to nasties. I can’t tell you how many times I have ‘just be fucking nice’ streaming through my head when dealing with stuff at work. It seems so simple, but yet so impossible for some. I hope that next week brings a gentle breeze and warm sunshine. x
Maxabella says
Thanks mate. I think I’m more upset by the fact that people feel the need to be nasty than the actual nastiness being directed at me. If there is one thing that despairs me for the kids’ future, it’s that. The unkindness and ego that they’ll have to deal with. Sigh. Better teach them to float too! x
Rachel_Ourtownbrisbane says
I think that’s how you know you’ve finally grown up – when you can MAKE yourself float over stuff that would have sunk you a few years previously xx
Maxabella says
That makes me feel so much better – I was busy berating myself for wanting to cry in the first place… thank you. x
Dannielle@Zamamabakes says
Love your words Bron.
Is it really that hard for people to be nice? Sheesh where I come from if you can’t be nice you just zip that lip!
I’m with you make people feel like they matter!
Keep sailing that smooth sea lovely lady, you’re awesome xx
Maxabella says
Thank you, clever lady. I can’t address you without putting ‘clever’ in there because I’ve seen what you did with that Nutella cheesecake!!! x
Kelly Exeter says
I will admit, I’ve not been my nicest self this week. And it’s because, you know, a bit of shitty stuff going on. Which means my ‘not being nice’ is about me … not about the people I’ve not been nice to.
So I am trying to remember at the moment that if someone is not being nice to me … it’s likely about them, not me. Doesn’t make it any easier to take though!
Maxabella says
Great perspective, Kel. It hardly counts though ‘cos frankly you’re just about the nicest person I know… x
KezUnprepared says
Floating away…such a nice visual. Must try that.
So sorry you had a shit time anyway. I swear there’s been something in the air lately. The stars? The universe? Something’s been shaking us all up, I’m sure of it!
I only hope that it’s not everything falling apart, but falling into place as the quote goes.
xx
Maxabella says
There really does seem to be a weird common feeling of blah going on. Last time I wrote about a similar feeling was in November last year and everyone agreed they felt the same way too. Maybe we could say this any time and we’d all feel similar – which is a worry!! x
Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad says
I just don’t understand why people have to be such a-holes! Sorry to hear you had to deal with someone being a shit human. By the sounds of it but, you won. You may have been shell shocked but floating through the bullshit takes strength and character. I’m sure the weekend will be much kinder to you xx
Maxabella says
I won in my heart and head and that’s what matters… but part of me is annoyed at myself for letting the person “get away with it”. I can’t shake the feeling that we need to rage against the awful! x
Lucy says
Life’s too short, isn’t it?! Take care! Cheers, Lucy
Maxabella says
It is. Too short to deal with shitty people but also too short to let everything slide. You can tell I’m still a bit angsty about the floating. x
Lauren @ Create Bake Make says
Why do people have to be shits sometimes? I’m so glad you were able to ‘float’ through it all, such a great concept and I’m going to remember it for next time the overwhelm/self doubt/negativity creeps up on me.
Maxabella says
I really wish we could banish the lot! x
Jules says
So very true, I wish people would be bloody nice! The past few weeks have made me feel like I am back in high school ( wasn’t a good experience for me) . when do people grow up and just know that you don’t have to agree with everything / everyone but just have respect and behave with dignity. Rant over and i am so glad that you floated, so much better than going down with the ship. Sending happy thoughts your way
Maxabella says
I honestly. Don’t think that 99% of us ever leave the playground… x
Emily says
Ah, not fun. Sorry you’ve had a crap moment this week, Bron. I have been flying high this week but with an undercurrent of dread brought on only by me. When’s it all going to fall down?! Must let that go; must assume the universe has heard your message and is just going to be fucking nice. x
Maxabella says
I do the dread thing too. It consumes me out of the blue sometimes for reasons known only to my psyche. Hate it. x
Julie says
My Grandma was quite religious. Not that most ever knew this. I lived with her for a few years and we spoke about her faith and my lack. She said it would never be an issue as long as I followed her main commandment “do unto others”. Over thirty years later I remember this in my dealings with others, treat people who you want to be treated.
Julie says
just wish others would remember this. How come people do not think to just treat others with respect. Hope next week is a better week for you.
Maxabella says
It’s like people instantly forget how it feels to be on the receiving end and dish it up to others the minute they get into the power position. I just never want to be like that – I wang to be like your grandma! x
Nicole - Champagne and Chips says
Winning at resilience there. Good stuff. I have been going into the spiral a bit too often lately.
I’m glad you are feeling better
Maxabella says
Let’s just NOT spiral, Nicole. x
Mandy Barbie Biebr and Beyond says
I’ve always been told that I am a “nice” person. I always get “you are just too nice”, like it’s a bad thing. Yes, I over commit myself, yes, I don’t know how to say “no” sometimes. But honestly why is being “nice” a bad thing? The less assholes in the world is a good thing right?
Maxabella says
Absolutely! And what is “too nice” anyway? Is it because you’re not prepared to walk al over people? I’d rather be walked on myself. Keep being your lovely self, Mandy. I think nice people win in the end because they aren’t full of pent up aggro. x
sarah@Tomfo says
So true,
Why are people so unkind, sometimes, it’s hard to believe what they do.
I always try to get them out of my head as fast as possible…
Life’s to short to hang with the “cranky’s” of this world.
Here’s to floating high x
Zita says
I know right!!!
My shoes were stolen from my hostel last night and I’m like ‘seriously people.. wtf!? Just leave people’s stuff alone!!’
Natalie @ OurParallelConnection says
It is not hard to say positive words to someone, in fact it is easier.
Suzie says
Just be nice. It seems so simple and yet so many simply don’t get it. I remember being at boarding school (all girls – hello bitchiness!) and the more dominant girls called a meeting because they weren’t happy with the way the mistresses (one in particular) were treating them. I was an extremely quiet girl back then, and remember sticking my hand up to ask, “Have you ever tried to say good morning to them? Or be nice?” to which none of them said yes. Meanwhile I was nearly dying from my heart thumping in my chest because I had spoken up. I think we all should do this more often – tell others to just be nice. Good on you Bron!
Alyson says
Wow – it must be the week for it! Unfortunately, I didn’t rally very well this time – but I’m looking back at it now as an opportunity to learn and am trying to be a bit kinder to myself in response. Good times….but better ahead:) X
Mother Down Under says
I just read a really good article about raising kind girls…it could definitely be applied to boys too.
I think our house is generally a kind house but the article was a good reminded to make doubly sure that our kids know kindness is important.
Be nice…words to live by.
Kylie Purtell - A Study in Contradictions says
Hectic weekend, only now getting a chance to come back and comment. I think seeing the big picture is one of those things that it takes time to learn, isn’t it. I know I struggle with it, especially when it comes to self-belief and having my comfortable little bubble questioned. I’m glad you were able to see that bigger picture and keep on floating, because sometimes that’s all we can do, just keep on floating x
Sonia from Sonia Styling says
Once again, we’re in sync this week. I had the shittiest day last Wednesday rescued only by a well-timed massage appointment that evening. Through the massage itself and talking with my massage therapist, I left my appointment feeling so much happier and calmer. And I agree – how fucking hard is it to just be fucking nice?! x