I love my kids and they’re good kids – blah blah blah, insert typical mummy-about-to-slay-the-kids disclaimer here – BUT… man, do they do some incredibly, wildly, profoundly irritating things. To me. At me. Yes, they are doing profoundly irritating things at me.
The number one thing my kids do at me is slide their pants off inside their shorts and leave them tangled together like a skunk caught in a trap. Wrestling those pants out of the shorts can take every ounce of strength I can muster at the end of a long day and sometimes even that’s not enough. I’ve been known to wash the pants inside the shorts, dry them, fold them and put them away in their drawer. The kids don’t think “OMG, I should have taken my shorts off then my underpants pants last time I wore these shorts.” No. The kids think, “Now would you look at that, my underpants are ready to go.”
Other things they do at me are:
- Bicker for days about things that have no meaning in the actual world (“Dumbledore got to Little Whinging by apparition, no he didn’t, yes he did, no he didn’t, etc”).
- Draw on a corner of a clean piece of A4 paper and then use another piece of paper for the next part of the drawing and so on and so forth until the drawing is complete in which case they leave a meaningless trail of 37 pieces of A4 paper from one end of the house to the other.
- Beg me to let them have something trivial (“Pleeeeeease can I have the empty cereal box, PLEEEEEEASE”) and then leave it somewhere for me to later trip over.
Don’t even get me started on the listening. I’ll call the child out for not listening and they’ll say, “What? Sorry, pardon? What?” because they are still not listening.
“Why don’t you listen to me when I’m trying to teach you how to respect your things?” I will say.
“My teacher was really nice today,” the child will reply.
Then there is the towel situation. Wet towels litter my home from bedrooms to bathrooms to kitchens. The kids will go for a swim in the pool and towel off and drop the towel on the deck outside and go and have a shower and use another towel to dry off there and drop that one in the living room floor on the way to their bedroom to get changed.
My kids will step out of their clothes (see “skunk and trap” method above) and leave them in situ wherever they are changing and then trip over them on their way out the door and cry for days, but still not once, not ever pick up the clothes.
My kids would rather sandpaper their own eyeballs than go to sleep when it’s bedtime.
My kids would rather lie on the ground and quietly die than get dressed for school in the morning.
My kids would rather make their mother twitch with frustration than pick up after themselves, do a chore without being asked five times, turn the music down or be remotely nice to each other without requiring a script (“Okay, Cappers, now you say to the Badoo, ‘I really like the way you…’ and Badoo, you say to Cappers, ‘thank you, Cappers'” etc).
Oh, those maddening kids! It’s a good thing I love them so because honestly, who on earth would put up with living with kids except their parents?
What do your kids do that really riles you?chil
BK says
The undies in the shorts/pants thing. Balled up socks into the wash basket (for god’s sake pull them out so they aren’t all balled up). Putting used dishes on the table or bench rather than the sink. Not putting away clean clothes so they end up getting mixed in with dirty clothes and back in the wash without even being worn. Not emptying lunch box or school bag until I find there is a four month old banana in the bottom of the bag and lose my shit entirely. Leave empty toilet rolls on the floor in the toilet for eternity. Put dirty clothes next to the wash basket in the bathroom rather than IN it. I could go on…
Emily says
THE BICKERING. It was too much for me today. Just. Couldn’t. Deal. (Meanwhile, I LOVE that your kids bicker about Little WHINGING. So appropriate.)
Mother Down Under says
Where do I start?
The wiggling like some kind of crazed worm while I am trying to put his sunscreen on him is my current number one irritant. And then complaining that I get it in his mouth or on his hands. Just stand still and it will take two seconds and I won’t get it anywhere it isn’t supposed to be!
That an generally having zero awareness of the world around him. Like walking at a snail’s pace while I am stuck walking behind him carrying his sister and a sherpa load of other stuff. Just keep moving little guy…a bit faster please!
PS I got your email and will hopefully have a minute to respond over the weekend!
Erin says
Adding to the list
1- Leave empty plates in the fridge, so Mr Nobody takes the last piece of food and leaves the empty plate, all..the..time.!
2-Prepare breakfast, lunch, tea and don’t clean up after themselves..grrr
3-Walk right past their father to ask me to…put their clothes on, cut their food etc, baffles him too
4- yep the towel thing here too
5- youngest boys 4 & 7 don’t pick up their washing and put in the clothes hamper in their room, I’ve taken to threatening them with a 50c fine per article, “I don’t have any money” says Mr 4, “Fine” I say “You can work out your debt
No 2 is the one that drives me nuts and I need to put measures in place, cause it’s on me that one. I need to pull them back to clean instead of raving about it and cleaning myself
Christine @ Adventure, Baby! says
The not listening. “Huh?” “What?” It drives me INSANE. Repeating myself over and over and over and over til I’m sick of the sound of my own voice.
OneSmallLife says
Gosh yes, I relate to a lot of this, but it’s the NOT LISTENING that really threatens to send me loopy. I just cannot take it – especially when they start talking amongst themselves while I’m mid-sentence. Granted I’m probably saying something really boring like explaining why you need to use your words instead of your feet to resolve a disagreement but sheesh. I really find it infuriating.
I also hate the melodramatics (daughter, 7) and the refusal to get dressed in the morning (son, 5) but really in terms of the blood boiling stakes they pale into insignificance.
Ah, now. That feels better. Thanks for the chance to vent. xx
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
OH MY GAWD THE EFFING TOWELS….. i wish I couldn’t threaten to fill in the pool it annoys me so much. And the dressing and bickering. What’s getting my goat the most right now is one particular child telling the other to ‘shut up’ I HATE that word and have banned it but it’s still said – GRRRRRRR
Emma @ Emmageddon says
This made me giggle because it was like you were writing the list FOR me. Glad we are all in this together 😉
Tash @ Gift Grapevine says
The constant whinging is really getting to me. That high pitch whinge that only a 3 year old who is not getting his own way can make! Three seconds later he hugs me and says “I love you mummy”. They really know how to work us don’t they? Smart little things 🙂