When my kids were little I would crave time alone like a drug. Between family and work, it felt like every minute of every day was accounted for by service and I just wanted to hang out with me for a moment or two.
Sometimes I would drive to the shops for milk and stay in the car park for a while, listening to music while life went on around me. I never once saw another mum in another car, isolating herself from the world like me. So when I came home from the shops I said that traffic was bad.
The need to be away from my kids, my home, my life, felt like it should be a secret. So I lingered on the walk home from work, had extra-long showers, spent a lot of time in cars, staring out the window at a bustling, hustling world. Two minutes here, five minutes there, it all equated to time where I was not available and somehow ceased to be. Stolen moments where my mind was blank, my heart merely beating. Little silent chats with myself.
These days, my kids are all at school and I work from home. Seemingly, my days are now filled with long stretches of time alone, but there I am, still productively beavering away, rushing to fit it all in, filling every moment with service and outcomes. Last week I sat in my car out the front of my empty house and ironically listened to a podcast about Living Simply. I got caught up listening to Kelly and Brooke while on the drive back from the school run and I took time out to finish.
Outside the birds swooped and called, the walkers beat on past and the sun rose a smidgen more over the treetops and for the first time in a long time I was truly alone. Turns out that being by ourselves isn’t what makes us alone. Alone is simply time itself — snatched back from a hurried life; soft, pliant and momentarily endless.
Do you crave being alone? Do you snatch time?
Erin says
Do I crave time alone?- Snorting here with laughter, me need alone time, yep, yep and yep.
Actually I more crave silence, probably the reason I’m not making alot of head way with podcasts, when I have the chance for silence that’s what I grab.
Maxabella says
I have a lot of silence during the day when I work. It’s my favourite. I am not one to turn on music or any kind of distraction. I like the peace. x
Sarah @sarahdipity says
I’m an introvert so I really crave alone time- except when I get it I tend to fill it up with ‘doing things’. I’ve also been known to sit in my car at the supermarket or in the driveway listening to the end of song just to get that few extra minutes by myself so you’re certainly not alone there.
Maxabella says
That’s good to know, Sarah. I was always on the lookout for fellow mums dodging life, but I never, ever saw one. It made me think that I was doing the wrong thing!!! x
Jodi Gibson says
Time alone allows my head to breathe – does that make sense? lol
Emily says
I love this phrase, Jodi! (So yes, it makes sense to me! Sorry to comment-bomb.)
Maxabella says
Comment-bombing LOL. But isn’t that just conversation!?
Jodi Gibson says
Phew! I’m not so weird after all. And comment bomb away x
Maxabella says
Absolutely!
Emily says
Yes I do. And yes I do. And sometimes – just sometimes – I snatch it with my kids right there. I set them up with a game, and I bring out a book, and I say that I just want to do some reading for a little while, and then I’ll be ‘mum’ again. And it works. (For now.) x
Maxabella says
Expert level, Em. x
Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abtoad says
Oh I crave it fierce. I steal little moments too, borrowed time to get a hint of time alone. I mostly find myself staring at objects in shops instead of being in the car. I meander and allow thoughts to drift in and out and the when I feel like Ive stolen too much and guilt sets in, I rush back.
Maxabella says
“Meander” and I need to get out more often! x
Raychael Case says
I call it hibernation mode and the more I’m out and about, the more of it I crave. Even my online persona has been needing time out and I now regularly schedule social media free weekends.
I often joke about taking long service leave from the family. The way I see it, with my girls now 15, 16 & 17 (just about to turn 18) I’ve earnt it.
Maxabella says
You most certainly have, Raych. I like the idea of ‘hibernation’. I think we make the mistake of filling up that ‘me time’ business with STUFF. So it’s not really the time out that we truly crave. The ability to potter, meander and amble is what mum really need. x
Corinne says
After travelling with my family for two months and then spending three weeks together setting up our new home, I’m absolutely desperate for some alone time. Desperate I tell you!!!
Maxabella says
Oh boy, you need to go for several drives, mate!!!
Kez @ Awesomely Unprepared says
I can totally relate! I get to the school car park for pick up early. It gives me 15 minutes to stare at snapchat videos or stare into space or finish listening to a radio interview. Just useless stuff. I crave being useless!
I sometimes have longer showers than I should. I’ll volunteer to drive almost anywhere because hello, alone time in the car!
I am also guilty of trying to fit in everything possible while my son is at kindy. I have to force myself to slow down and take some self care time sometimes. It’s hard to do!
Maxabella says
I always think I’m going to go early to the pick up, but it never happens. If I managed even 10 minutes earlier, I’d get a much easier park…!
Shannon@ my2morrows says
Oh yes Bron! I crave it badly and have grown to love my public transport commute because it’s the only ‘me’ time I get these days! Xx
Maxabella says
I totally relate. Pre-kids I hated the commute. Post-kids it became one of my favourite parts of the day. Go figure.
Karin @ Calm to Conniption says
Yes, I do the same thing. I feel less guilt stealing a bit of time to myself that isn’t so openly “I need time to myself”. I could have been stuck in a line somewhere, caught up in a slow checkout line. The time goes unnoticed and gives me some breathing space.
Maxabella says
I wish I was patient. Cues and traffic just make me want to head bang. I need to chill out and treat it as some precious snatched time. Good one.
Christine @ Adventure, Baby! says
Yes. I feel guilty when there is a minute of the day that I don’t spend productively. Meanwhile I wonder why I am so exhausted I feel like I’m going to collapse all day every day.
Maxabella says
I’m really trying to fix that.
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
You’re so right, it’s not being alone, it’s just snatching back some moments to just “be.” I need more of those moments!
Maxabella says
I’ve mostly forgotten how to do nothing, if indeed I ever knew. I need to reclaim it.
Lauren @ The Thud says
It is the only way I can survive. Some people need to work out, some people drink… I just need to be by myself for a few minutes. It’s one of the main reasons I’m a night owl. Everyone is asleep and I can just be free of people for a while. I crave time in the day where I’m not being touched.
Maxabella says
Me too! Sometimes Bart gets home from work and I’ll say “Fast kiss only, I’m ally picked out” or “Can’t speak, I’ve got no more words left.”
Terri Hart says
I like to go early when I pick up the school kids. I read a novel, listen to music, and/or take a quick nap. I also get up at 4 in the morning, because it is the only time of day that my home isn’t busy or noisy. Sometimes I go out in my backyard and meditate, or walk, or maybe listen to podcasts, and or exercise. Those are both pretty important times to me. I selfishly schedule them into my daily routine.
I also love the desert. When I was younger it used to be the mountains, and I still love the mountains, but over the last few decades my husband has really turned me onto the desert. For me it is like the wind blows away all of the complications of my life. The sun silently rejuvenates me. And photographing the often hidden beauty of the desert tends to help me set my priorities straight. God’s beauty is number one. Why is that so easy to forget? Why do we get so sucked in to our day to day services and lose sight of what is really the most important? Love, life, and God.
Maxabella says
Having a connection with nature is absolutely critical. We moved from the inner-city to a hillside bush block and I instantly felt like I could breathe.
Sam Stone says
Absolutely!
I take longer showers, go for walks, vacuum!
Maxabella says
We know we really need time out when we find ourselves actually enjoying the vacuuming!!
Bec @ The Plumbette says
I’m the same too and sometimes I will take the rubbish out to the bin at night and just look at the stars before going back in to to the rest of the bedtime duty. Life is so constant when we juggle work and family.