I’ve been sick this week. Oh, nothing major, but there’s a ‘low-grade virus’ doing the rounds and it just makes a person feel depleted. It’s the kind of bug that takes a mum about two days to realise she even has because we are used to feeling depleted. We are used to life being a bit woozy.
Max has been sick with a sore throat this week too, which means that yesterday I dragged him to the doctor so she could check that he didn’t have an infection (he’s all okay). I mentioned that I was feeling a bit under the weather myself and the doctor said, “there’s a low-grade virus doing the rounds, should be okay in a week or so.”
I’ve worked through it, being almost-sick isn’t the same as being sick sick. I had to finish a couple of hours early on Monday, but otherwise I’m propped up in front of my computer, doing my thing. I’m extra-conscious of doing a stellar job because I know I’m not really all here. Part of my brain is tucked under my doona with a steaming hot lemon drink scenting the air beside me. The rest of me is here: writing reports, editing words, doing expenses, reading pitches, being alarmed at the world and suitably outraged when called for.
I miss being fully immersed. It’s strange not having the energy for everyday life. It’s an insight into how much enthusiasm I have inside me, how much I rely on its buoyancy to get me through. “I don’t know where you get the energy for that,” is a comment I hear so often. “I just love it,” I reply. I’m not high energy really, just intensely enthusiastic.
My man makes me cups of tea and urges me to rest when I can. I rest, I do, but if I rest too much I can’t sleep for all the brain-whirling. All the things I should be doing but I just don’t have the energy for right now. That’s the thing about being the mum; it’s almost impossible to outsource our job. Bit by bit, lines get painted, but the overall picture is getting blurrier by the day. All the things stack up like logs by the old shed, waiting for the bonfire.
If I can ignore the wood pile, I’m quite glad of the mental break. Being almost-sick is the excuse we need to go gently. The doing still happens, but I’m so much less concerned with the how, the when and especially the who. The burden of responsibility has been lifted and a “low-grade virus” has moved into its place. Physically I’m pretty down right now, but emotionally I’m actually feeling high. It makes me wonder at our need to do well, rather than be well.
Vicki @ Knocked Up & Abroad says
Enjoy the cups of tea and slices of rest. You can clear the logs again when you have some stored up energy, just be kind to yourself. I have felt lacklustre all winter with the mix of sleep deprivation and illness constantly swirling around so I can relate to the lack of energy required for every day life that you mentioned xx
Maxabella says
New babies are tough going, Vicki. Hope your own logs are cleared soon enough. x
Robyna | the Mummy and the Minx says
I hope you feel 100% soon lovely and in the meantime, please do get some rest. If at all possible.
Agent Spitback says
I was just thinking the same time. We as mums are so hard on ourselves that we only allow ourselves to rest when we’re ill. When we have any free time it is almost expected that we do something not just for the kids but the home or even keeping friendships. I can so relate to your last line. I want to do well even at the expense of being well which I know is so wrong.
Seana says
Working in bed with a laptop is the ultimate treat for me, with the electric blanket on, of course. If I’m under the weather,= physically, that’s where you will find me, should you be looking. Today has been a great day for lying low and going slow. The rain, and more rain.
Hope you feel better soon and in the meantime how good that the mind is well and it’s just the body that needs tender, loving care. Let the hubby and kids nurture you all weekend, it’s your turn.
Sarah @ Tomfo says
Hellooo lovely. Our house got that virus anout a month ago and we were all sick for ages it felt like, I remember thinking, I can’t wait to be well again, because we couldn’t function, just had to stop and rest for days and then just muddled through being half sick for a few more good weeks. It does make you realise how being healthy and well is so important, and sometimes you just need to stop and take a break.
I hope your house gets well soon xx
Holly says
Poor you 🙁 I hope you start to feel better soon!