There was a vast desert full of crickets and tumbleweeds and then there was… a rushing river.
I’ve had quite a few emails from you all, wanting to know how I managed to break my blog silence:
“How did you get your mojo back?”
“Where is the inspiration suddenly coming from?”
“How are you finding the time now?”
And, luckily, “so good to hear your voice again.” Phew.
The answer is both small and large: I’m back because I decided to be back.
As I’ve always said, we make time for the things we love. If we don’t love it enough, it’s hard to find time for it. When we love it, we can’t not do it. I decided that I loved it enough.
I’ve been reading Gretchen Rubin’s Better Than Before and it’s been a massive eye opener for me. As someone who has worked very hard to break bad habits over the past 18 months, this book was like the missing piece of the puzzle for me. I realised that it’s not just about breaking bad habits, it’s about introducing good habits too.
I also learned that I’m a Rebel tendency, so I’m basically screwed. But more on that another time.
What I did realise was that not writing is more of a habit for me than writing. My instinct is to write, my habit is to create reasons not to. The biggest reason was to overthink this blog. I had to remind myself that it’s just words on a page. It’s not an income. It’s not a competition. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s just words.
Nobody is making me do it and nobody especially cares if I don’t. But I do. I write differently here when it’s all for me and I miss it when I stay away too long. It’s my late-night rhythm; thinking all the thinks and writing a four or five posts at a time. Some weeks there are lots, some weeks there are none. I’m okay with that. The writing itself brings clarity to my reasons and reminds me to always, always listen to the perspective of others. I like the talks we have on this blog.
There are lots of times when we fall out of good habits and ignore the deep missing. We tell ourselves that we don’t need to do such-and-such after all, but the fact is, we do. I have 832 drafts in the draft folder of this blog, gathered over many years. So many of those posts are mostly finished, but unpublished. Lots of drafts, lots of words. That’s the way it should be when we don’t overthink the writing.
But we should always overthink the publishing.