We all know what a cesspool for the outraged social media can be. It’s rife with people who take offense at every little thing. There are lots of theories about why, the anonymity of a screen being number one (although, hello, I just clicked through on your profile – how was dinner at the RSL last night? And is your grandmother doing better?)
The nasty side of social media is everywhere if you look hard enough. Which is to say, not very hard at all.
The flipside, of course, is the niceness that social media also brings out. “Love and light” is scattered even more than the trollfest. Which is just the way it should be, of course. It takes a huge helping of love and light to wash the troll down.
Trouble is, that’s pretty much the depth of emotion you find in most comments on social media. Either all YAY or all NAY. This is because a lot of the YAY camp delete the NAYs and vice versa. It’s so easy to manipulate social media to say whatever it is you think is ‘right’. The more we do it, the more important we think it is to be ‘right’.
But, there’s one more voice on social media that speaks volumes. The voice of silence.
You will have seen this for yourself, I’m sure. Someone puts up something controversial or downright offensive and they are met with screams of… nothing. The post sits there, the lack of comments flying like a banner shouting ‘F off with your nastiness. I’m not giving your bile a moment’s thought.’
I like that silence so much. It is filled with grace and kindness.
It actually takes a lot to scroll on by when you see something that riles you. Biting your tongue is never easy, but for all the reasons we do it in person, we should do it online too. “Don’t feed the trolls” is an important thing to remember.
I’ve been incredibly fortunate to experience people’s grace and kindness on social media for myself.
A couple of months ago something incredibly upsetting happened to me that could have been, probably should have been, all over social media. But it wasn’t.
It wasn’t there because so many beautiful people chose to remain silent on the subject. They chose to scroll on by. The incident flared up to bushfire level elsewhere, but was snuffed the minute it hit social media. Snuffed by good people who had the good grace to let it slowly float away on the stream of opinions, thoughts and outrage that is our social media feed.
It’s hard to thank people for their blissful silence, but thank you anyway. Your thoughtfulness will always be remembered.
If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. I live by this daily, and often am silent. It works for me. xx
Me too. Sometimes I find it really, really hard though!!! Others are much better at it than me. x
Oh lovely, Your post is so timely. I’ve noticed so much of the Yay and Nay sayers on social media and the naysayers can be downright mean and rude.
If I think I know the circumstance you talked about, when grace and kindness were given to you, it was because most of us that know you and your blog, know your heart, and when you know someone’s heart (and you’ve got a genuine good heart Bron) no matter what you do, it’s met with grace because your goodness overrides the mistake. It’s not in your nature to be malicious or ignorant. And sometimes, something simple can be turned into something bigger than it is. Anyway, I hope my comment makes sense to you. I could be way off mark from what I think you’re writing about.
Essentially, kindness will always win, and good character will always overshadow a bad moment, hence the silence that was given. x.
Thank you, Bec. I have all the best people in my corner. x
Beautifully put Bron. I’ve always been of the “don’t engage” variety myself xx
Sometimes I worry that the nice ones are the ‘don’t engage’ people and that’s why social media is in the pickle it’s in…
My mum always told me that if I can’t say anything nice, not to say anything at all and I’ve always tried to follow that guidance, especially on social media where there’s no visual cues or intonation and even the most trivial of comments can be construed to be something they’re not. When I see those hideous posts, I just scroll on by and remind myself that my silence is golden.
Silence is very golden. Though I do think it’s a big shame that the nicest people feel silenced, Sammie. x
Like everyone else I subscribe to the got nothing nice to say, say nothing. I try to scroll on by unless it is to show support to my mates. You are such a beautiful person dear Bron and it makes me sad and mad that people could be mean to you!
All the love xoxo
Thank you, Cat. That means such a lot. I think people are mean to EVERYONE and that’s just no good at all. x
Often my Facebook feed is filled with posts that you’ve commented on. Mostly I don’t read the posts themselves but I love reading the lovely, encouraging, thoughtful messages you sprinkle throughout the social media world. I have no idea what you’re talking about here but it makes me happy that people backed you up with their silence. I know you deserved it. xx
This makes me so happy, Kate. x
Love this Bron. I wrote a similar post last week on my blog. I’m not sure why we outraged so easily these days, but I’ve learned to look past that and focus on the positives. Front of mind is peace, kindness and simplicity, I try and remember that to steer me away from the outrage and negativity that social media tends to cultivate. And really, you don’t have to look far to find the good in the internet – like your little space here. x
Me too! There is so much good to find. x
There is so much hate out there on social media – sometimes, I just have to avoid it for a day or two. I just think, you never know where your life will take you or what situation you might end up in. So approach every situation with empathy and if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.
Good philosophy, Shari. x