As we all reel from the controversy surrounding the Yummy Mummy post last week, do you ever stop to think how bizarre cars are? How we zip around suspended above the ground in our little metal boxes. Lost in our own little world with one eye on the traffic and the other on what’s for dinner? How cars allow us to go further and do more in a day than we are actually biologically capable of?
No wonder the roads are a heaving pit of heat and aggression.
But there is no excuse for the way some drivers behave. They cut you off, they tailgate, they slam in and out of traffic, they go 90 in a 60 zone. I just can’t stand the injustice of these imbeciles getting away with causing havoc. Argh, they make me so angry I could… drive aggressively myself?
No wonder the road are a heaving pit of accidents and casualties.
So just how do you let a driver know that their driving is unacceptable without becoming a screaming maniac yourself? What do you do to make sure they understand that good drivers rule the roads, not bad? Try these tips for starters.
1. Do not use hand gestures
Once I was so annoyed at being cut off that I immediately fired off the bird. I was instantly ashamed and so attempted to make it seem like I was merely adjusting my rear vision mirror. With my middle finger. So, instead of a brief middle finger salute, what they got was an ongoing insult that seemed to go on for kilometres.
My advice is that unless you’re giving a ‘heya, thanks’ hand raise to nice people, please just keep both hands on the wheel.
2. Do not tailgate back
The ‘eye for an eye’ approach to life does not work on the road. As tempting as it is to speed up and tailgate the tailgater – yeah, you like that cowboy? You still feel like Schumacher, do ya? – resist that powerful urge. Besides being dangerous and juvenille, you won’t be able to keep up and then you will just look really very small and foolish.
3. Slow down
So, in your trusty rear vision mirror, you’ve spotted a crazy gaining from behind. This is where I suddenly remember that the speed limit is the fastest possible limit, not the slowest. I slow right down to 40, maybe even 30. It’s never for long – that driver is past you and roaring away within seconds – but just knowing that I’ve provided a small hurdle of frustration in their day is often enough.
4. Try The Box
If you’re really lucky, other like-minded drivers will have spotted the hooligan as well. Working together you can then form a box around the culprit, trapping him inside as if he’s being followed by a traffic jam all of his own making. It’s great fun and, since you’re all only driving at 40km per hour, unlikely to end in tears.
5. Give a little wave
Of course, who could really be bothered constructing The Box? Just let the maniac glide on past and give him a little wave as he goes. ‘Yep, there you go, zipping in and out of traffic. You must be so ace at Mario Kart.’
Really, in any driving situation, the ‘heya thanks’ wave just works. On long journeys I’m often in danger of getting RSI my left hand is bobbing up and down so much. And don’t even get me started on the barely-perceptible finger-salute… love them country drivers.
Sarah says
Funny post – thanks for the giggles!
I’ve heard that listening to classical music allows you to avoid feeling raged. Kinda works for me, I’m just about impervious to obnoxious drivers when there are violins playing. Wow, when did I get so old? I’ve just realised that I’m a Volvo driving, classical music listening mum. Dearie me.
Pieni Lintu says
This morning some guy in BMW drove right behind me and it was very slippery road. I just tought that if I have to brake now there will be huge car wreck. 🙁 And there were speedlimit 50km/h and my speed was almost 60km/h. I was so pissed off that I did slow down to 40km/h just for fun when he couldn’t pass me. 😉 And when I soon turned to the different street he accelerated very fast. 😀
..sorry bad english. 😛 But maybe you understand what I mean. 🙂
x0xJ says
Haha, i admit it, i’m a huge fan of boxing those dicks in. It must be the bitch in me, but makes me giggle, even just the thought of it.
Toni says
I mutter a lot, but I try to just concentrate on my own driving. My reactions are slow and my peripheral vision isn’t fantastic so I really need to keep concentration up.
Oddly, music helps. Squawky kids do not.
Toni says
P.S. I really miss the Chronicles of Fridge 🙁
Maxabella says
Oh Toni – you have just made my day! AND given me a little kick… x
Posie Patchwork says
I think people’s real personalities come out on the road. Mine is so relaxed & laid back, even if we’re pressed for time, i just don’t get bent out of shape about driving. I figure, i have a huge 4WD, if anyone attempts to zoom in & out of me, they’ll clip my bull bar, tow ball or steel runners, so your insurance will delight in charging you an excess. I do look at hoons who fly off at the fist hint of green & think, “do you feel big, taking on a mummy car loaded with school children??” Small penis syndrome anyone??
I do the slow down & pull to the side so the maniac can go kill himself well clear of me. I also let people into my lane (this annoys my husband) but get very disappointed when they don’t thank me – ditto for pedestrians who i usher in front of my car, where’s the nod, smile or hat tilt??
All in all, there is usually an audience in my car absorbing my attitude so i just say “look at that crazy” & let them learn about some good old fashioned manners & defensive driving skills. Love Posie
PS no kidding: my word verification is “helmoble” spooky, get those “hellmobiles” off the road!!
MultipleMum says
You are so the road rager dying to burst out! Keep your cool Ms M. Those hoons are not worth it. I had a ripper the other morning, in a Prius no less. She must have been drunk because she was all over the road and tooting. The tooting does my head in! I just slowed, slipped on a bit of classical music, took my time at the lights, boxed her in with my road comrades and she was fuming! Loved it! What was the hurry at 10am on a Saturday morning lady?
Anonymous says
I love the slow down as well. it makes you feel powerful knowing you’ve annoyed someone for 30 seconds!!! also i feel there is nothing nicer then catching up to someone who has just sped past you only to get stuck by a truck!!!!
Freedom23 says
sorry that anonymous was me…..i don’t know what happened!!!
Tatter Beans says
I hate driving…. and I hate drivers who are aggressive on the road, they scare me cause I wonder if they are really in control of their vehicles… and driving on the wrong side of the road on the wrong side of the vehicle makes me even more nervous… send me back to England where we do it right pls lol
Laura says
I dont drive but knowing myself,I would have to work really hard to keep my middle finger down!!!;^P
Simpsonslover says
This comment has been removed by the author.
Being Me says
Would it be controversial of me to say that I think “Yep, there goes another only child.”? Har-har.
I like to work with other drivers. THe box method works surprisingly often. But when it it doesn’t and the person driving the Commodore in the front doesn’t get it and speeds up, letting the speeding monkey past, I just shake my head and tell him/her they’re not a very good team player. But at least my frustration shifts to someone else. And then I get distracted by something else I’m doing. Like, oh yeah! Driving!
Seriously, though, they annoy the bejeezus out of me, weaving speeding drivers. Especially women, for some reason (maybe cos I think they should know better??).
Andrea says
The box method is new to me…
on another note, love those softies, they remind me of where the wild things are….
Deer Baby says
I have a driving phobia. Can’t drive, won’t drive. But if I did, all these things would piss me off.
Sammie says
Tailgaers are the WORST!
I have had so many of them lately too? I have no idea why?
Oops! I accidently cut someone off the other day.
WHen we stopped at lights she was tooting and abusing me. I ignored her. To be honest, I was scared! Then she (yep she…) got out of her car and came up to me again yelling and abusing… And hitting my car! Lucky for auto locking doors. Unsure what to do and scared, I ignored her, let her get through the lights before me and them just had a laugh about it with my husband later.
feebee says
I have a theory that the way you live your life in general is reflected by how you drive. Change the way you drive, you might just change your life. My husband thinks there is a book concept in that. Slow down, stay calm, “getting back” at idiots on the road just ends up raising your own stress levels.
Mammamusing says
I like to print this off and mount it on a huge sign on the Ring Road in Melbourne.
Drivers and particularly truck drivers are notorious for intimidating drivers who dare to travel on the speed limit and will drive right on your tailgate.
It is so scary!
Nick says
When I want to relax and chill out…I go for a drive. Living in the country means that my index finger is always on the vertical. As I am getting on in years, said finger often spasms and I end up pointing at people for the remainder of the day.
Kymmie says
I’m loving this series of posts. Funny, insightful and always interesting! I tend to go between passive-aggressive (staying slow in front of them, just because) and smiling lovingly at them while they’re cursing and carrying on. Seriously fuel to the fire. And it makes me secretly very smug. xx
Life In A Pink Fibro says
I have much experience with the 20km driver. Fibrotown is FULL of them. If anything is likely to incite road rage in me it’s that.
But I’ve got my country driver salute down pat these days. You’d be proud.
Oh, and I truly think the world would be a better place if some drivers referred back to the road rules. The driver turning right across the intersection DOES NOT have the right of way. Got it. Okay. Good.
Sigh.
Heather says
You are so funny Bron! I do many of those things! I love love love to box….for me there is nothing more satisfying! I also have been known to do the smile after slowing down to 40km much to the annoyance of the 19yr old P plater. Canberra drivers are so aggressive! Supposedly they have an accident rate much higher than sydney…who would have thought! It is crazy out there!
CSaM says
Must add ‘the box’ to the list of things to try.
I must admit though it shits me to tears when people DON’T drive the speed limit, accident waiting to happen!!
60 in an 80 zone? Makes me one cranky driver…. actually maybe I am an aggressive driver 😉
Bec says
Great Post!
I used to get very worked up on the roads over every little annoying thing, muttering under my breath, doing the “what the hell was that?!” hands over the steering wheel etc
Now that I have a little one in the car with me (seeing and hearing and learning from everything I do) I knew I needed to change my attitude. There are always going to be dicks on the road, I can’t change that, but I have the power to change how I feel/drive/react.
So now I smile and think “I hope the fuzz catches up with you buddy!”
Michelle says
I get mad and shake my head while muttering explitives. Then I realise how grown up I am as I was a bit of a bratty driver when I first started on the rode. Turning up the music usually chills me out 🙂
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
oh yes – tooo true!!! so many crazy people on the road – i love the slowing down tip – do that one a lot i do! The other one i do is pretend not to see the imbecile driving, especially when they want to cut in front – i look straight ahead, pretending i have no peripheral vision whatsoever and do not let him (or her!) in!!! hah ha haha!!
xx
Jacki says
Ah! It drives me crazy! I’ll never forget one woman screaming abuse at me because she wanted to get past me but the traffic was too slow. She called me some horrible names (I was only 17) and I sat in my car, crying.
Tania says
Brilliant. Shall apply the WaveTheory post haste. My kids are becoming increasingly unconvinced by the rear vision mirror fiddling.
Lucy says
I don’t get road rage. (Lexie does, but that’s a whole other blog post.)
I do get parking rage. School gate parking outrage. I AM posting about that next week…soapbox time.
(Oh, I do get shitty when I let someone in and they don’t give me a nod.)
ChinkyGirLMeL says
We have tons of crazy drivers here and a lot of them go into a bit of a road rage. mom and i just ignore them, we never stoop to their level, safety always comes first.
Carly @ Carly Webber - My Life in Colour says
Another good giggle! I’ve tried the box once before… the receiving driver must have side mirrors that need adjusting too. He was furiously adjusting his left hand one with the middle finger when he eventually drove past! 😉
Mama of 2 boys says
This is awesome, classic stuff! I’d like to see a list of handy tips for car park etiquette also. I have encountered some brow raising situations in those of late too. It is possible that the same morons on the road, are bringing all their aggression and self centred behaviour into the car park as well. Maybe?!
Unfortunately, they do get to me and yes, I get cranky like you :o/
Megan Leslianne says
Great suggestions, but I don’t agree with number 3. If someone’s speeding or weaving, infuriating him further just to “teach him a lesson” isn’t going to help. It’s going to make his behaviour worse either immediately or further down the road, when someone else has to deal with it.
Someone who breaks the road rules isn’t going to change his behaviour for anyone. It’s better to just move to the left to let him speed past, and get on with your own life. He’s going to speed whether you “play” with him or not.
But that’s just my opinion. 🙂