You know how people receive those Anonymous comments from really sad people with nothing better to do but type vitriol into a comment box? I’m lucky enough to have avoided trollish commenters (saying that is surely asking for it?), but I see their demon droppings all over the blogiverse. Favourites that I have lately collected from random blogs include:
The Boring Standard: “What kind of a person writes this shit. Go out and get a real job.”
The Rather Obscure: “You wouldn’t know what suffering is even if it came down on a cloud and told you to go back to bed.”
The Unhelpful Comparison: “Stay at home mums are all lazy you know whats. You think you’re better than mums who work. Mums who work are the super mums, not you. We do it all and we never get a break and we have to be responsible to our work and our kids so it never ends for us. You should have another job too.” (Presumably to feel as crappy about your life as this person does.)
and, my personal favourite, the Spraying Obscene: “Working mothers are selfish c#$ts. Go home and raise your kids.”
Anyway, trolls are a special breed unto themselves and curiously I have a special spot in my bloggy heart for them. Of course, I cannot condone the obscene name-calling, I don’t understand the need to anonymously hurt someone and I certainly can’t stand the cowardly behaviour, but I confess that so often I want to troll my own posts that I get where they are coming from.
I do.
I find blogging a rather self-indulgent thing to do. Writing endlessly about oneself and one’s views of the world and using expressions like ‘oneself’. Sitting at my desk chair, musing and pondering about my little world and my little issues and using expressions like ‘musing and pondering’. Is it any wonder that many times I’ve wanted to drop an Anonymous comment on my own posts?
Stuff like “first world problem, lady, build a bridge and get over yourself.” (Which I think is a rather apt thing for a troll to write. The world needs more bridges when you’re a troll.) And, “Who is actually looking after your children while you’re busy posting their mugs on Facebook?” And, “You are so up-yourself*, please stop bragging about your kids. (I totally understand why you need to write about them because they are just magnificent and, honestly, who could help themselves) but fuck lady, they are your kids, not you. It’s not like you’re doing anything!”
I also confess that once, maybe twice, I’ve come very close to dropping an Anonymous (it would have to be Anonymous because god knows I’m not brave enough to use my actual pseudonym) comment on someone else’s post. Never would, of course (you gotta believe me!) but still… don’t you sometimes read a self-indulgent, crazy-deluded post and think ‘WTF?’ so strongly that it takes everything you’ve got not to whizz off a sharp rebuttal. To edge your fingers away from the keyboard and sink back into ‘don’t judge, whatever works for her, we’re all just doing the best we can’ mode?
* My inner-troll is obviously me at fifteen… haven’t heard this expression since the eighties!
[Image by Laura Zalenga]
Sophie Slim says
*sigh*
Yes yes yes.
And its funny too, all that self-restraint. You would think it means we can understand the cliff that is troll-dom.
*shakes head*
Toni says
Oh, no… now I’m worried I’m one of the blogs you want to comment on *sad face*
Trolls are too much for me. I think they must actually live fairly pathetic lives and I just won’t engage with them.
Sarah Pings says
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes <— to paraphrase Nora Ephron …
I have been *this close, many times, to railing at the absurd solipsism of the blogosphere, but then I remember my blog, the outpost of my own solipsism …. and backspace backspace backspace …
Robyn says
so so close. but then i think, hey , people probably want to write that stuff on my self-indulgent blog, thinking i have a charmed life.i stop myself.
Anonymous says
I really wished that when I scrolled through to the comments on this, it would have been filled with anonymous entries 🙂
I often think WTF, but then bite my tongue, thing about the inane post I just published and move on to next person’s universe on my blogroll!
katiecrackernuts says
Dude, I am so missing out on this whole troll business. Spammers. Yes, but damn, someone come over and write nasty stuff on my blog. The joke’ll be on you. I don’t care and I have the delete button and, in all honesty, I’ll be paying you dues because, damn, if you’ve got the time you must know something I don’t. I salute the trolls. (Well, no not really and I can’t believe people are so awful to write these things on your perfectly lovely blog). Gee sus. If ya wanna me to come over and punch ’em, I can. K?
Hannah says
Oh my gosh…. trolling link-up at Maxabella loves.
Write a trolling post and share the profane love!!!
he he!
I’d so be in it…
Miss Pink says
I think we all find those posts, yep even our own, where we want to write something snarky.
The difference is weather or not you hit that publish button on your nasty comment.
Sometimes I type it out and then click the X box. It gives me a little realse to type it out, and then click X instead of publish.
It’s ok to admit that. It takes guts to admit what you did! But you don’t act on it, and THAT is the important part.
I also think it’s ok to write that to disagree to someone. I’m all about being able to express your own point of view, but keeping it respectful and not attacking. But yeah, there are those posts that you can’t do that with.
Emily says
‘The world needs more bridges when you’re a troll.’ Haha, brilliant! x
Amy says
The beauty of blog reading is that you can always stop reading or suscribing to those blogs that elicit too many troll feelings. Having a blog and feeling the need to self publish is fairly narcissistic behaviour, full stop … says one who also blogs!
Michelle says
Yes I do think WTF sometimes but I just close the window and vow never to read their ridiculous bullshit again! I have never received a malicious comment and I hope I never do, but I have read nasty ones on others blogs before and think why do people believe they have the right to be negative, we arent paid to provide reading pleasure to you, we are all just ramblers who like to find like ramblers to ramble with!
notsupermum says
I got my first negative comment recently, not anonymous though, and I was really quite pleased. It felt like a badge of honour, as though I was finally a proper blogger 😉
therhythmmethod says
Blogging and being creative are tricky territory. I’m all for people finding their niche and creating (writing, photographing, whatever), but it can come across as narcissistic. The two things co-exist in the same region of the brain where narcissism lives. I think anyone who takes time out from the world to create something (like a blog, a book, a painting) has to dance an awkward dance between being a self-absorbed wanker and having a unique vision.
I generally click away from posts that are freakishly self-indulgent. I figure some things are better out than in, and most people have the sense to delete the posts that are too narcissistic.
And a lot of people will read this post and think “OMG, is she talking about ME?!”
Wendy Sice says
Ha! This post made me laugh! The only time I have wanted to say something negative was on a home styling blog that is extremely popular and yet I hated the ideas the blogger was promoting, eg. green shagpile carpet, and I can’t remember the other ideas but they were bad! I think I said something like, Who would’ve thought this would ever come back into fashion, and then never visited again, just in case my comments got worse! 🙂
Mrs Woog says
Write what is in your head and the next day? Write what’s in your head. Repeat. It helps you grow. Xxx
Sarah says
Oh yes, but then I read my own posts and get over that bridge! I’ve only had one troll comment, sadly I could easily identify the sender by their particular brand of bile.
True trolls (differences of opinion and honest views I can deal with) are bullies and cowards, 2 of my least favourite kinds of people!
Carli says
I once got trolled on someone else’s blog, they didn’t like my comment, that was a fun experience!
Kelloggs Ville says
This is the first time I’ve read your blog and I think you are inviting troll comments but I’m really time short today to back read any detail so I’ll have to do some sweeping stabs (lazy) ‘if you stay at home every day, how could you (uninformed) If you go to work your children will spend hours in therapy (correlation and causation fail) The white on this page is precisely the wrong shade (irrelevant), I heard you smell (offensive)’ I fear I’m failing but please note I am fresh to this game !
Sarah - that space in between says
The biggest thing I’ve noticed since I started blogging was:
1. I get so booooored of myself some times, I want to shut myself up
2. Some days I feel like I haven’t got enough dark thoughts or Carrie Bradshaws (it got me thinking blah blah blah) to keep my little blog going
I also concur with Karen from the rhythm method, writing is narcissistic but I think the key is that you need to make it insightful rather than navel gazing. Big challenge some days x
Kelloggs Ville says
Ps I’ve failed to choose anonymous, I’m posting you a black marker so you can cross out my name, please can you forward it on to your readers for thm to do the same. Appreciated.
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
Oh yes, i edit myself about what posts I publish…I back away and think…Bren…that is a little “all about me” going on there – so step away from the computer! I try not get caught up in all the nastiness that creeps into blogging…and I just don’t like anonymous comments either…if you say..put your name to it!
Mum on the Run says
Hee hee.
I regularly troll my own writing in my head.
Some of my posts make me cringe on reread!
The worst has been unearthing my diary from my first pregnancy.
I want to go back 4 years and slap my preggo ‘woe is me’ self into reality!
🙂 xx
Cate says
This is kind of why my blogging has dried up – I’m in a bit of a “who the hell needs to read any of my bollocks” phase*. But it won’t last…I love the sound of my voice far too much to be silenced 🙂
xCate
*Oh, and the fact that I tweet like 50 million times a day…
Diminishing Lucy says
I clip clop away. Hit that red cross as I shout at the screen….xx
Anonymous says
OMG get over yourself! ffs really!
toushka lee says
ok, that was me up there. I had to do it just for you. Hope you like it.
Obviously I suck at it though.
oh shit – I forgot to say you were up yourself. damn.
anyway – totally get where you’re coming from. I read my posts and think – “oh shut up already”!
InkPaperPen says
Seems to be a common battle. Like Cate, it’s kinda why I’m not blogging. I’m just a bit sick of my own blogging voice! But I still believe in the power of blogging…it just feels good, despite all the tricky bits!
Tessa White says
Ok so firstly I am clearly still 15.. I still use that phrase and be ha ha… I hate 50% of my posts as I get lost between. Sharing, moaning , just posting yummy pictures and in writing what comes into my head as it arrives
Lori Anderson says
Clever, and I get it, too. I’ve gotten plenty of anonymous comments, but sometimes I see exactly what I DO.
Happylan says
I could so troll my own posts – a bit of a “Lighten up Sunshine” here, a bit of a “yawn…” there, but I guess I troll myself in my on head too. I am even trolling myself as to how wanky this comment is sounding… will I post it?
Beck says
Loved this post! In the Sunday Magazine yesterday Dave Campbell wrote about his view on internet trolls, my favourite line was ‘I’m not saying don’t have an opinion- just make it intelligent!’ Love this point of view on the whole negative nellies on the internet. YouTube commenters are the worst!!!
Brave New Fiona says
You make me laugh! I love that I have only a few followers to bore and none of them are trollish. We are unfortunately living in a time when people’s brotherly/sisterly love toward one another is waning! Just take a drive down the street and see the road rage, or park at the shops right before school pickup. Self-indulgence isn’t exclusive to blogs- its everywhere. And anonymous trolling is the self-indulgence of the weak minded. hahaha, would I flatter myself to think a troll will hop on my blog to tell me to go shove it? hahahaha. I love how you write. Very witty. I’m still giggling. xxx Fi
Donna says
Oh you are priceless! I’ve often shouted and shaken my head at the computer screen but unless its something I am STRONGLY passionate about for a very valid reason, I click on the cross and leave it be.
Kymmie says
Personally, I love the anti-trolls. The ones with beautiful comments, no matter what the situation. The affirmation is what we want people! Not the trolls. But I guess you can’t have the good with a little of the bad… Oh well.
And yes, I think we could all troll ourselves a bit. But that’s the whole point isn’t it? It’s your journal and you can write what you want, no matter how self indulgent! xx