There’s no doubt that it takes a lot of work to make a strong relationship. But with enough heavy lifting – and heavy talking – things seem to fall into place. It’s so critical – a healthy relationship raises a healthy family. And brings oodles and oodles of joy.
I think telling your partner you love them every day is important, but showing them just how much is even more critical. You can show your partner how much you love them by continually getting to know them. The only way to do that, is to ask the right questions and say the right things.
We know how much our thoughts, feelings, ideas and opinions can change from one day to the next – your partner is exactly the same. That’s what makes us humans so endlessly fascinating and, more to the point, that’s what make monogamy even half-way achievable.
So, whether you’re the boy or the girl or the boys or the girls, here are 10 things to say to your partner, every single day.
1. Thank you
Often it’s the little things that we forget to say when we’re with the people we love the most. As we keep reminding our kids, pleases and thank yous are very important – they show you respect the person you are talking to. Do you remember your manners around your partner?
2. I love it how you…
Noticing the things your partner does and complimenting him on them is a lovely way to show him that he matters. I love it how you do your job so well. I love it how you butter the toast like that. I love it how you give the kids an extra cuddle every morning. I love it how you make me feel.
3. How was your day, dear?
Cliches aside, so many couples are apart all day but forget to catch up on what they’ve been up. Do that too often and it starts to feel like you’re living separate lives. Ask him how his day was and actively listen to his response. Find out about what he does all day, the people he engages with and the way they make him feel.
4. What are you looking forward to?
Much of the joy in life is looking forward to something. In fact, it’s one of the best things ever. Looking forward to something means we are full of hope, anticipation, positivity and excitement. What’s your partner most looking forward to today? If he can’t think of anything, it’s time to make something happen!
5. What do you think about…
Lots of us forget to ask our partner’s opinions on things we’re doing, especially household or children stuff. Go on, ask him what he thinks about the things you’re currently working on. What does he think about the kids’ friends? Your latest project at work? A holiday to Bali instead of the Gold Coast? Himself?
6. I’m sorry
Oh, those two little words really do make the world go around. When was the last time you gave your partner a genuine apology for something you know you did wrong? Going cap in hand takes guts, but it smooths life’s ripples far better than waiting for the storm to past. You can’t always be right and even if you can’t accept that you’re wrong, there’s nothing wrong with giving your man a big hug and saying, “I’m sorry we can’t agree on this one. What can we do to fix it?” Every relationship needs an injection of humility from time to time.
7. I love being around you
“I love you” is one thing, but “I love being with you” is something else entirely. Being great company makes us all feel good so remember to tell your man just how you enjoy being together. A daily acknowledgement of what a great team you are cements you as a unit, tackling life together with good grace and humour.
8. You’re right
This is a little extension of the “I’m sorry” reminder. Being sorry is hard, but admitting you’re wrong is even harder. The thing is, in any relationship it’s just so critical to give credit where credit is due. Even if you’ve fought about a topic for days. Even if you were adamant you were right until you realised you weren’t. Even if he’s going to say “I told you so” – tell him he was right. It’s important that he knows.
9. I missed you all day
He’s a source of great comfort, joy and security in your life, so it’s okay to let him know that you miss him when you’re not together. A little text or phone call. A quick picture of the kids sent by email. The world’s biggest snuggle when you see each other that night. Or even just making him his favourite dinner. Being missed makes you feel needed and that’s a great feeling altogether.
10. Let’s have an early night
You might not be swinging from the stripper pole every single night of the week (unless, of course, you are), but make sure you make time for intimacy each and every day. Go to bed a little earlier, wake up a little earlier, use commercial breaks wisely – however you do it, just do it together as often as you possibly can. It matters.
What kinds of things do you say to your partner on a daily basis?
To my Bart: thank you.
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{This post is modified from a post that appeared ages ago on Kidspot}
Julie says
Just gorgeous. Thanks for the reminders. So true. Just emailed this to hubs too.
Maxabella says
It definitely works best when you’re both doing the asking, Julie. x
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
This is just the best and you’ve included so many of my favourites!
Maxabella says
I’ve got a feeling you and your fella are totally down with all of this, Sam. x
Emily says
I’m going to retitle my top web reads of the month posts to ‘Just go read Maxabella loves’. Nailed it again. x
Maxabella says
God love ya, Em. x
Carolyn @ Champagne Cartel says
I love this list! My husband has been overseas for work for the past week and a half, and while he’s been gone, I’ve realised just how much we need to spend more time together and say a lot of these things more. Thanks for the reminder. xx
Maxabella says
I hope you have a gorgeous reunion with lots of dirty #10 happening. Wink, wink. x
Kristy @ Loulou Zoo says
Oh I love these! It’s so true you actually have to work at a relationship to make it work! x
Maxabella says
You have to stay connected on every level, otherwise it really does feel like work. This is something my husbie and I really do get right. We’ve had a tight, seamless relationship for 19 years now. Bloody hell, that’s a long time!! x
Tash @ Gift Grapevine says
This is just beautiful and oh so true Bron – communication is key. Number 7 is a favourite of ours and we’ve had the chance to indulge in this all long weekend. A date night on Friday and three days spent doing things with the kids – together as a family – and not thinking about work or chores has been brilliant!
Maxabella says
Love it, Tash. It’s so needed. I have been saying ‘no’ to many social events for a couple of years now just to get more time with my family. When I say, “sorry, we can’t make the BBQ we have another commitment” in my head I’m thinking, “yes, a commitment to each other and our family.”
Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad says
This is such a lovely post. I agree, a sturdy relationship requires constant thought and care. The little efforts build up and help weave a web of nurturing love. My husband likes it when I say “I appreciate you”. For him that summerises all the nice things that I could say and makes him feel needed and well, appreciated.
Maxabella says
I like that, Vicki. Being appreciated is a wonderful thing and I know we don’t tell people that enough. I agree that these kinds of little things all add up to a very big thing and that very big thing is a stable, loving, warm, nurturing, hot-sexy relationship! x
Nicole@ The Builders Wife says
I love all of these! Both my husband and I use them regularly. I also love ‘I appreciate it when you…’ which is another one we try to incorporate into each day. xx
Maxabella says
Vicki added ‘appreciate’ too, Nicole and you are both absolutely spot on. We need to show how much we appreciate all they do for us more. x
shannon @my2morrows says
Bron this is so lovely and a big reminder for me. I’m not real good at 6 and 8 but winning at 2 3 And 4. Always room for improvement and it’s so important to take the time to do these little things. Xx
Maxabella says
2,3 and 4 amount to a very beautiful thing all on their own, Shannon. #6 is probably the hardest one on here for most! x
Karin @ Calm to Conniption says
Nice reminders. My husband and I need to step up our game in this area at the moment. We were all about the above points all of the time but the FIFO lifestyle can allow things to slip away.
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
Yes yes, all so important! After a good many years together, you can become complacent if you’re not careful, and to me, that is the worst. With a shift-working lifestyle, we have to juggle (not literally thank goodness), but definitely worth it.
Knowing that you’re appreciated is the most comforting feeling, I think x
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
I adore this and actually hit about 6 out of 10 – must remember to say “I love when you’ instead of “I hate when you’… words from the wise – xx
Sonia Life Love Hiccups says
Bron.. I love this. I love love love this. xx
Tash says
just gorgeous Bron. So important to remember x
Jenni from Styling Curvy says
Ding, ding, ding…we hit the mark on most of these. I also say ‘what’s the news of your day?’ I think THANKYOU, I’m sorry and ‘you’re right’, go a long way to happiness x
Erin says
Lots of words of wisdom there:)
Zanni Louise says
Love those Bron! I admit I could say more nice things to my husband. We have a jokey one, which we ask each other whenever we find ourselves alone without kids : “So, what are your dreams and aspirations?” and a slightly less jokey one, which is “So, what’s going on for you?” and another kind of jokey one, which is “How did you sleep?” to which the answer is always “One my side.” Ah the humour 🙂
Mother Down Under says
I miss my husband!
Once again in the child under one trenches, we simply don’t spend enough time together.
I know that in six months or so things will change…or I hope so anyway…and in the meantime I will try to work a few more of these into our conversations and lives.
Thanks for the reminder Bron.
Rachael says
Gorgeous ideas Bron- I have to admit actions speak so much louder than words and it is so very lovely to have someone show you how much you are loved. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy and very blessed too! A beautiful reminder x
Ellen @ Potential Psychology says
So I’m not supposed to say, ‘Oh my god can’t you just go away for a while?’ Hubby and I have both been working from home for the past six weeks and I think we’d probably benefit from a bit of time apart right now. You know, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that 😉 Lovely sentiments Bron and probably a timely reminder even if it doesn’t always feel like it. xx
Vicki @ Boiled Eggs & Soldiers says
Some days it’s hard listen to the answer to how was your day dear, eyes glaze over! But these are a great reminder and I need to be better at them. We are about to be apart for 3 months so will have to work extra hard at them in absentia! Thank you oh wise one! X
Nicole - Champagne and Chips says
All great stuff. We are in a little disconnect with both being far too busy all the time (and no end in sight). Some really important reminders here.
Bec says
Some very important things in there xxxxx