I’m not loving being a mum right now. It’s hard to say that ‘out loud’, but there it is. Lately I feel like I’m carrying Sisyphus on my back as I go through the parenting motions. Up we push the rock, down the rock goes. Up we push the rock, down the spirits go.
I’ve been here before. We’ve all been here before. Parenting has never been and will never be all warmth and sunshine. Most days it’s just plain hard work with a light scattering of lovely moments. Many other days it’s mostly sunny with the odd late afternoon thunderstorm. Then other days it’s grey skies and drip, drip, drip of rain all day, everyday, relentlessly for weeks. Those are probably the worst kind of days because they are insidious. There’s no mad thunderclap to hang our anger on, no biting wind to make our frustration feel justified. The drippy, grey days simply remind us how relentless the tough parts of parenting can be, how miserable our kids can make us feel and how lonely it can be to be the grown up.
Ideally when the chips are down like this, we take a little extra time out for ourselves. To remind us that life goes on in other ways and we can contribute to and enjoy other things. But sometimes, when parenting is at its fiercest, we cannot settle away from our kids any better than we can manage to settle with them. Being apart feels infinitely worse than being together, even though together kind of sucks balls. This is because we know that the problem lurks within and that strong part of us that never gives up on our kids, no matter what, never ever, wants to stay and fix things. Our inner mother, the one that knows things that our outer mother can only dream about, is restless.
My inner mother is rearing today. I’ve felt beaten down by mothering for a couple of weeks now and she’s pacing like a caged lion. She wants to run, she wants to roar. I’ve been here before and I know that I need to contain that lion mother, but I also need to set her free. Here’s what she’ll do when I let her out.
She’s going to roar
I try not to be too much of an everyday yeller, but lion mum thinks that’s bullshit. Lion mum is ready to roar at the kids and say ‘enough is enough’. Pick up your shoes, put your school bag away, stop hitting your sister and for godsake stop whinging, stop whinging, stop whinging. You’ve all got enough of everything you need, we’ve all had enough of you pretending otherwise, enough it enough is enough.
She’s going to clean
Oddly, she’s going to clean the children’s bedrooms from top to bottom. It will take her half the time it will take me and a tenth of the time it takes the kids, such will be the level of anger fuelling her along. She’ll need to wait until the kids are at school because I won’t want the kids to hear the cursing and fussing and rattling and roaring that will go on in that room.
Once she’s done, I’ll feel like a lot of my frustration has been taken out on things. She’ll have thrown out a lot of my inner clutter. She’ll have given me and the kids a fresh start.
She’s going to rebuild boundaries
Next she’s going to start slapping mortar on the cracks of the boundaries I set for the kids. Lion mum is going to reclaim my space by reinforcing our rules. Bedtime will be strict, no will mean absolutely-not-on-your-life and everyone will be made to bunker down and toe the line for a while.
Reinforcing the rules will make me feel like I’m back in control again. There are boundaries in place that protect my sense of self and make my parenting days easier. Having them rebuilt stronger will remind everyone of what’s expected of them.
She’s going to talk and listen
Finally, lion mum is going to sit the kids down and have a good talk to them about why taking care of mum is so important. Lion mum is not afraid to let the kids know that their actions are damaging and hurtful. She’ll focus on the necessity of being kind, having respect, treating others the way you wish to be treated yourself and on the need to show love through action, not just words. Lion mum will remind the kids that saying ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t mean anything if you don’t change your behaviour. She’ll talk to them about three things each of them could do differently and ask them what kinds of things they think Mum needs to do differently too.
Having this talk will re-centre our family and remind me of all the goodness in my children. A talk like this helps me remember how clever and brave and kind they are. How funny and interesting and how huge the love we feel for each other is, despite it all, because of it all. I’ll be able to say thank you and goodbye to my inner mum during this talk. She’ll head back into her spot within, quietly pacing, ready to help me the next time I forget that everything I ever need to get through this parenting gig is right inside me, waiting and ready.
What do you do when parenting gets too hard?
katepickle says
Oh I can so relate… to ever… single… word!
Maxabella says
That actually makes me feel so much better, Kate. I have such respect for you as a mum so if you can relate it makes me feel less like I’m failing right now. You know? x
Zoe Meunier says
Sorry to hear it Bron. And yet, it’s oddly comforting to be reminded that I’m not the only one who struggles from time to time. (Ok, frequently.) As for what helps? Karaoke. Wine. Painting. Wine.
Maxabella says
It is really, really, really comforting. It kinda means ‘it’s not you, it’s just motherhood’ and that makes me feel better. I don’t need to take it so personally… x
Deb @ Bright and Precious says
I needed to read this today. I’m loving your inner mother voice. I’m taking inspiration from it.
Maxabella says
I like her very much too. It’s almost like when I hit rock-bottom I morph into a sensible, sane, in-control kind of mother for a while. She’s loved and necessary. x
Averil says
Thank you so much for your truthful words- it is so wonderful to read them and think, it’s not just me.
Maxabella says
It’s not just you. Matter of fact, I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s not us, it’s them!!! x
Tess says
A great, honest and positive post, thank you. I know I’ve read your posts about birthday parties and school holidays etc and think you sound like a super mum so it’s a relief to know you are human!
I’ve asked my husband to take candid pics of me with the girls whenever he is around and I love to look at them particularly after a hard day and remember there were moments of peace and absolute contentment. I also clean!
Maxabella says
Oh I’m most definitely, absolutely, totally human, Tess. I think you’ve just been catching me on my ‘good’ days because while I love the crafting and the activities and the parties, I also share A LOT of the bad moments of parenting here on this blog too. It helps me so much to ‘write it out’ and get it off my chest. I’m sure it helps the kdis too!!!
I love your idea of taking pictures of the ‘good moments’ because sometimes we really need that hard evidence – look, I was happy! x
Katy says
I so, so needed to hear this today, thank you so much!
Boundaries and talking, love your idea of the three things and then getting feedback from them – I shall try this with my daughter who is being particularly difficult at the moment.
(totally understand the decluttering too, if only I had a day when I was home and they were at school!)
Maxabella says
You know what happened? I spent the entire afternoon scrubbing and decluttering those bedrooms and felt FANTASTIC, REBORN and then… the kids came home and trashed them in the space of an hour. I give up. But at least it gave me a tangible thing to roar about and that was very satisfying indeed. x
Kristy says
You are so right. Is them, not us! They push push push until there is a snap. We become lions that growl and yell then they pull their heads in and we start back at the top of the happy family circle. Sometimes it takes awhile to get around the circle but we somehow always manage to make it back to the top x
Maxabella says
Climbing up a circle is hard, Kristy. No wonder we always feel so defeated!! x
Sarah @She Writes says
Yes. This was definitely me yesterday. The fighting, the whinging, the ungratefulness, the fighting, the whinging!
It always reminds me that boundaries need to be reset. Less TV, I find TV can make my children quite unlikeable.
The cleaning with the cursing, yep that is me too!
Maxabella says
The screens are out at our place anyway, but they definitely make the situation worse, IMO. One of the many reasons we have ditched them Mon – Thurs.
What is it about the cleaning/cussing routine that makes me feel so much better… I think I tell the rubbish all the things I’m not allowed to say to the kids!!!! x
Bec @ Seeing the Lighter Side says
Thank you for saying everything I sometimes feel but am hesitant to voice. I hope the balance swings up again soon. xxx
Maxabella says
Voice away, Bec! It feels GREAT!!! x
Eliza says
Ah, how true. For me it is the inner dripping AND the outer dripping. i don’t mind a bit of rain, a bit of cold, a bit of wind. But three solid weekends of wet weather, and we are all totally irritated by it and each other (and the damp house and the leaky roof).
I went through a horrific time at a job a long time ago (before kids). I went to see someone and they said to come up with one tiny thing to look forward to every day. He said to focus on it when you are feeling down. Say to yourself “Today I am (having a coffee in a cafe, buying a magazine, having a nanna nap).” I often come back to this when I am finding life relentlessly hard (or boring, as it can be at times).
Best of luck Bron. Sunny day tomorrow (hopefully!)
Maxabella says
I really like that approach, Eliza. I read your comment and popped a mag into my trolley as I was at the supermarket at the time. Thank you. x
PS – good point about the awful weather. I think it’s helped send me psycho lately. x
Courtney says
Oh I’ve been feeling like this a lot lately!! The days have felt very repetitive and libel at times. So hard!!
Courtney says
Oops that should say lonely not libel haha! X
Maxabella says
I think libel is perfect. Certainly half the things the children accuse me of doing are not even remotely on my agenda!! Best wishes for a happier tomorrow for you, Courtney. At least we know to send each other good vibes. I’m holding your hand in cyberspace. x
shannon@ my2morrows says
Oh the whinging! They just keep going!!
So good to read this right now at this moment when I’m about to go home to arsenic hours. Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. Thanks Bron xx
Maxabella says
I hope arsenic hour didn’t do you in, Shannon. I’m reading up about whinging right this minute. I swear it’s just a bad habit that I need to help them break! x
Lucy says
HI Bron,
How timely! I had lots of plans today, then scaled them back dramatically and made a robot from egg cartons! I have taken all day to fill in some forms and find associated paperwork. This was the first on a long list of jobs that will all have to wait til tomorrow.
It does seem to be happening a lot lately and I’m having to be more flexible than I’d like! The major cleaning thing has got to me too – I’ve done one of the rooms, now have to sort the leftovers in another room. This is all helping the big picture.
Best of luck with it all!
Cheers,
Lucy
Maxabella says
I think I need to make a robot out of egg cartons too, Lucy. Thank you for reminding me that it’s okay to chuck the lot in some days and just hang out. x
Melissa says
It must be the week for it! I posted on Facebook about losing my shit on the weekend, and I have to say it actually helped. Since I lost the plot, and subsequently told my family how under appreciated I felt, they have actually been more considerate and helpful. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt them to know that mum’s have feelings too xx
Maxabella says
Agree completely. I have made it very clear these past couple of days that something has to change and they seem to be rallying, sort of. x
Christine @ Adventure, Baby! says
Love love love!! When it all gets too hard (like right now!) I plan something to make me feel pampered – like getting my nails done with a friend.
Maxabella says
I’m way past the nail stage, Christine. I’ve moved from ‘get me out of here’ straight into ‘what do I need to do to FIX this?’. I can’t leave the house, I’m so bloody determined. x
Fiona Coates says
oh my gosh, are you in my head and house right now!! Hormonal teenagers are driving me to dismay today! Some days I am not so sure that we are all going to make it through to the other side still friends! I try to remind myself that I am the adult and I can change my behaviour more readily than them but gosh some days that is a tough gig!
Thank you for your honesty and perspective! X
Maxabella says
This is my mantra too, Fiona – changing the kids is a work in progress, but I can feel whatever I want to feel at any given moment in time, if I’m careful and keen. Some days I’m not sure we are going to make ti through to the other side full stop. x
Claire says
i cried reading this. Sometimes parenting is not just hard but it lacks joy, fulfilment or any kind of positive emotion. In these moments I question my ability as a mother as I watch others handle the challenging times with such apparent ease. Thank you for sharing your darker days and reminding us all that it is usually just a phase and you will make it out the other side.
Maxabella says
I’m a bit teary myself, Claire. You are so right in your description – it just lacks joy or any kind of positivity whatsoever. It just feels like a slog and that everyone else is happy except me. Sigh. At least we all get it and we’re not alone in feeling the way we feel. To be honest. I kinda thought I was… x
KezUnprepared says
What a beautifully honest and raw post, Maxabella. I so so get it. You are SO not alone. I hate that feeling so very much. It’s like you’re so so over it, but then you feel worse because you don’t want to be over it. Then you have to take action – any kind of action – to feel sane again.
For me, there’s NOTHING like me time. I always know when it’s time and I do not hesitate to let my husband know so he can help make space for me haha. I absolutely hate when I can’t get it quick enough.
I love love love being a mum (a 90% SAHM at that), but gosh when it’s bad it’s terrible!
It’s funny, but I think sometimes my best parenting ideas come from those tough times. It’s when I am most likely to shake things up or improve the issues. I just don’t like the feeling that leads up to it! Yuck!
I hope you feel better soon 🙂
Maxabella says
I feel this way too, Kez. Thank you for letting me know that we are in this together. I think I’m more 80/20 with my love/hate, so you’re doing beautifully with 90/10!! x
Kathy says
Good on you and your Lion Mum for letting things out. I’m afraid to say I just had a bit of a roar that I feel bad about instantly, but your Lioness plan is perfect for letting off steam. We had two nights away from the kids for our 20th wedding anniversary last week so I have no excuse for roaring at all, but some days….
Maxabella says
Some days…
And truth be told, I only feel a teensy bit guilty about being a lion mum right now. I honestly feel justified and that it’s necessary. I’ve tried so many other things and Ms Nice Guy wasn’t working at all. Hopefully the roar of the lion will get me somewhere soon. x
Maxabella says
PS – Happy anniversary! Twenty years is so meaningful and special. All that joy probably tipped you over the edge 😉 x
JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) says
Oh Bron. I totally relate with every step. I’m quite emotional at the moment so I won’t go on. Just know you’re not alone. xxx
Maxabella says
Holding your hand in cyberspace, Jodi. We will get there, together, somehow. We always do. x
Emma says
I needed to read this, and needed it today. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one who experiences this. My inner lion is about to completely lose her shit and I’m almost in tears over the frustration of no one listening or pulling their weight or considering the feelings of others. So many people make out that parenting is all sweetness and light, and yes, there are some amazing days, but I want to know that I am not the only one who has bad days and would love to hide in a cupboard for 10 minutes of peace! Love your work and honesty, new fan for life here xx
Maxabella says
We could hide in the cupboard and have a cup of tea together, Emma? A lady stopped me outside the supermarket this afternoon. She must have seen my face. She said, “just take them home, open a tin of spaghetti, tell them it’s dinner and then go and lie down in your bedroom with the door closed.” Lovely lady. x
Jess - A Little Part of the World says
AHHHMAZING!!!! Everything I needed to read today. Man, it’s a grind and a tough one. I’m in the parenting trenches and it’s bloody hard work. I love your inner Lion Mum. My husband said to me on the weekend – do you think we’re doing something wrong? I said I don’t think so and it’s completely normal. I wasn’t totally convinced but sounded convincing enough. This gave me the boost I needed to just get on keeping on. Jx
Maxabella says
I had EXACTLY the same conversation with my husband on the weekend, Jess. I kept thinking that we must really suck at this parenting thing to have kids who are so needy and whingy. But he reminded me that that’s just what kids do and it only really sucks when they ALL do it AT THE SAME TIME. Which is where we are at right now. I just need to break the pattern and get them back to business as usual – taking it in turns to annoy their mother instead?! x
Bec @ The Plumbette says
Bugger and I thought it would get easier when they got older! Bron, this post is so relatable! Sadly when you’re in the trenches with young kids there is very little me time to have a breather! You are doing a fabulous job even if you feel that you aren’t. And don’t base your efforts on your kids behaviour. We can all see your heart in this post and having met you in real life your enthusiasm for life is so infectious. I love all your tips and can see myself doing similar although talking boundaries with a two year old goes a little over their head. Hopefully this Sunday you will be loved on like no ones business and it will give you the boost to keep going.
Maxabella says
It’s always a little joy when I see you in my inbox, Bec. Thanks, as ever, for your lovely support. You’re such a giver and I really need a giver right now.
I’m not looking forward to mother’s day, Bec. I just know it’s going to be a very emotional day for me right now. I don’t think they can win whatever they do. BUT STILL, at least we have our day, right!? Ha!
Incidentally, I doubt the heart-to-heart would go down well with Miss 2, but boundaries absolutely do. The higher the better at that age. For what it’s worth. x
Bec @ The Plumbette says
I do hope you get to enjoy your Mother’s Day in some way Bron and as for boundaries with Maggie, they are definitely in place I just feel when she pushes them she doesn’t get the consequences.
Bec @ The Plumbette says
And by get I mean understand! X
Maxabella says
I hear ya, Bec. But I reckon that’s a personality thing as much as anything else. Two of mine STILL pretend to not understand that consequences come after warnings and they are 6 and 11!! x
Vanessa says
Not a parent, so I can’t give advice, but it sounds like you know what you need. Hope it gets easier this week and that you have some good parenting moments to surf on 🙂
Maxabella says
Thanks Vanessa. It’s really nice of you to read and comment on a parent rant even though it’s not your thing. I really appreciate that. x
Mother Down Under says
Ahhh…the circle of parenting.
At the moment I am at the top but I will remember this post next time I am wallowing in mothering’s nadir.
It isn’t easy.
It is a lot harder than I thought it would be…turns out the daily grind combined with the pressure of raising good human beings is tough!
And I know what you mean about needing to be alone but then that me time isn’t enough to reset.
Good luck lion mum.
Maxabella says
I guess I’ve worked so hard to integrate ‘me time’ into my ‘everyday time’ that it doesn’t really feel like enough. I reckon right now a 2 week solo holiday in Bali might not even be enough. It’s the everyday that needs fixing and fix it I will. Hopefully. x
Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad says
You’ve articulated the brewing frustration so perfectly Bron. I was in this place a couple of weeks ago but the skies have cleared now. There was a bit of roaring going on. I couldn’t control it, shamefully. I know that it will return again (the hard parenting cycle – hopefully not the roaring). There seems to be cycles but I think pulling in the reigns is the most effective reminder of what is to be expected. Although heartfelt chats can be reconnecting. Thanks for this post. Your honest is reassuring x
Maxabella says
I’m trying very hard to not be ashamed of the roaring, Vicki. To me, as long as the roaring is fair and justified, I’m okay with it. It’s not my everyday parenting style, so it really does pull the kids up. Sometimes they need a little shake up, I reckon. I don’t love it, but I’m not going to feel guilty about it either. In any case, I’m PULLING on those reins right now and I’m hoping I can pull this crazy family up and get us back on the right track soonest. Thank you so much for your kind words of support. x
Jode says
Oh my goodness you have no idea how much I needed to read this tonight…thank you for reminding me I am not alone in feeling this exact same way and let that lion Mum roar…I for one will be applauding her x
Maxabella says
Thanks Jode. It’s so lovely to see so many women I consider to be FANTASTIC mums feel the same way I feel. It makes me realise that it’s perfectly normal to lose my shit from time to time. It’s just all part of the joys of parenting!!! Hope your world looks brighter real soon too. x
Kate Martyn says
You go, girl! Parenting is a really hard gig, and the more you care, the harder it is. Pull those reins in a bit on the kids for a while and get your space back. Looking back on 23 solid years of parenting, I can’t count the number of times I’ve done the same and felt much better afterwards. The kids always wear it, they know they have pushed too far, and you are just finally calling their bluff. Kids aren’t stupid! Don’t be ashamed of the lion within, use it to your benefit – haha laughed out loud at the cleaning bit, that is what I used to do, muttering, swearing and chucking stuff around til the job was done. Very cathartic. Hang in there, you’re not alone.
Maxabella says
Thanks so much, Kate. I really know now that we are none of us alone. We parent together. x
Emily says
I have been feeling the same, although last week was worse than this week is shaping up to be. Last week, I was that mum who could feel the tension building out of nowhere and knew she was going to snap and knew she should remove herself from the situation but just let the yell come out sometimes anyway. And then felt guilty. But instead of dealing with the guilt rationally, then took that out on the kids too. (That said, some of the actions last week were RIDICULOUS and would not have been accepted by cool, calm and collected mum either.)
Yep, totally feeling this post. Thanks for sharing it. I think it’s important to have posts like this and I hope you don’t get comments from the holier-than-thous who would NEVER put themselves ahead of the kids or yell or get sick of the whinging. x
Maxabella says
So far not a single one. I wonder where they all are today? Instead, it’s been nothing but support and it’s made me feel normal and so much better. x
Sonia Life Love Hiccups says
OMG Bron this is so me today… actually it is me this past week. Tonight they literally had me in tears I am that exhausted from fighting battles with them xx
Maxabella says
E.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d. Even more exhausting than putting full stops after every letter of that word… Hope they are kinder and nicer and more respectful today, Son. x
Monique@The Urban Mum says
Oh I had the little sit down with the family a couple of weeks ago. I had reached the point of NO. MORE. It just felt like they were all taking the piss – so we needed to chat (I may or may not have yelled a lot and cried a bit). However as draining as it was, we are all now calmer, boundaries and respect restored – enjoying each others company again…til next time…x
Maxabella says
Our chat is coming up. I’m in the boundaries phase of my lion mum plan and things are going much better! x
Robyn says
So relating to this right now! I had that chat with my ungrateful little so-in-so’s yesterday too!!! Thanks for making e feel better Bron x
Maxabella says
Ditto, Robyn. I’m sorry so many mums are feeling the way I am feeling but boy does it make me feel better to be normal!!! x
michelle says
Bron I am all the feels on this post. I absolutely know that Lion Mother. Do you know what helps me and it sounds so silly but I have a wonderwoman pair of pyjamas and a wonder woman coffee cup and for a moment in the morning while I sip that coffee and deflect the Tiny Dictator, albeit briefly, I try and harness a little extra super power to get through the day.
Maxabella says
You are freaking awesome, Michelle. I want a wonder woman cup and PJs!!! x
Sam Stone says
OMG, I clean too. It is flipping hard this parenting gig and I will have no-one tell me any different because they would be lying to my face.
Maxabella says
Cleaning is control, for me. If I can get a perfectly clean room / house, it’s like a blank slate. A place where I can begin again (I can feel a blog post coming on!!!). x
Megan Blandford says
I just had to pop in and say: I love that you took this hard time and turned it into inspiration for the rest of us. You rock. x
Maxabella says
Thank you dear Megan. I did it for me, but I’m so glad I did it for others too. x
Rach @ Mogantosh says
I really like your very practical ideas here Bron. Mostly I love the way you’re not taking the road of ‘I need to take time-out, recharge myself, take a break’ etc but actually ‘no, this is bullshit, things need to change and I am putting Mum’s happiness into this fucking equation.’
Bravo! Beautifully expressed.
xxx
Maxabella says
I so fucking am!! x
Reannon @shewhorambles says
I won’t lie, parenting my eldest child (15) is utter bullshit most days. He is not at his best right now, hasn’t been for the last few years & I’m told I’ve got about two more years until he’ll come good. Most days, not all but most, I yell, he yells & we fight. It’s horrid & very, very unfun. I am constantly re-assessing, setting new boundaries, trying new routines, learning to be flexible & reminding myself to savour the good parts, the fun days & the laughs we have so I can draw on them when I want walk out of the house & never return. I also cry sometimes because it’s a physical release & allows me to re-set my emotions. Sounds weird right? But it’s true. Heading into the sun helps too.
xx
Maxabella says
I know, I KNOW that this will be me in a mere four years time, Reannon. I see my eldest and I just know that we are headed into battle. I am trying very hard to get things in place right now that change our course, but, like you, I also know deep down that it is futile. Some kids are just harder to parent than others. Let’s just feel all the feels and get on with it. We will triumph when our sons triump. One day, I just know we will. x
Lisa says
Gosh here I am thinking Bron is all Mother Earth when in fact you are a lioness giving your cubs a little 101 in life lessons. I am sick of the whinging too-not such what the kids have to complain about. Hope you find your sanity soon-if not, at least the kid’s rooms will sparkle! Xxx
Maxabella says
I am both, I think. I have always been both. My empathy and need to nurture drives me to the attachment side of things, but I’m far too selfish to not be a disciplinarian too. I straddle the two. Like any kind of parenting, it goes well and then it doesn’t, but we pick up the pieces and sort something out. I’ll get there. x
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
I call Lion Mum out quite often, Bron. It feels like we just need that burst to reset and get everything back on track. Yes to reinforcing those boundaries and yes to talking it out, and letting them know that all the drama is not in anyone’s favour.
It’s a comfort to know that we’re all battling, struggling and sometimes winning this together. All of us on our own, but all of us united by the craziness of motherhood.
Thank you xx
Maxabella says
It is immensely comforting, Lisa. I think sometimes that it is other mothers that truly makes motherhood possible. x
Simone @greatfun4kids says
Flip, but you’re awesome. And so is Lion Mum. This resonated with me from my fingertips to my toes. I know those days/weeks/months of the dripping rain and the simmering agitation. Boy do i know them. And yeah, sometimes it is LONELY being a grownup. So glad we have you to put into words what we all go through.
xx
Maxabella says
Lion mum is getting me through it, Sim. “Simmering agitation” pretty much sums it up!! x
Renee Wilson says
Ahh Bron, you describe so beautifully the ups and downs of motherhood. We’ve had a bit of the drip, drip, drip going on around these parts lately. Can’t help that I’ve been sick for 11 days straight. I can definitely feel a lion’s roar coming on this afternoon, especially if there are any expected late arvo/early evening thunderstorms 😉 Hang in there lovely lady. I hope after you do everything above, especially the talking and listening, that things will improve. I hope you have a lovely Mother’s Day on Sunday x
Maxabella says
I hope you roared on Thursday and then had a lovely, calm mother’s day, Renee. I also hope you feel better now. x
Tash @ Gift Grapevine says
Lion Mum sounds like she has this sorted!! I can SO relate to all of this Bron. I feel bad complaining about the tornadoes as I know how lucky I am to have them and to be a mum but boy they do a good job at testing me. I go through what I call quarterly cycles – everything builds up, I have a mini breakdown, enjoy a little cry, take myself out for a coffee and beach visit and then everything is good. This gig is tough. But I have a wonderfully supportive family and friends (who are going through the same thing!) and two crazy tornadoes in this rollercoaster ride. Thank you for your honesty – not that I’m wishing you tough times but it’s good to know there’s others out there in the trenches 🙂
Maxabella says
Even though we’re grateful, even though we’re lucky, even though we love them, I think we need to be able to feel unhappy with motherhood, Tash. I believe that being unselfish 100% of the time is impossible. x
Lauren @ Create Bake Make says
I wish I had of read this earlier today when my inner lion began to roar. It really can be tough sometimes and reading/hearing other people feel a similar way does help to raise my spirits a little. I often feel as though I can’t or shouldn’t complain about the tough days, after all it’s taken us to bring our two little boys into the world, however it can be hard, so bloody hard some days. I hope you have a kind and peaceful weekend xx
Maxabella says
Just because we love them, doesn’t mean that we can be utterly selfless all the time, Lauren. It’s impossible for us AND I think we do the kids a disservice. They need to know that the way they behave affects us deeply. We need to let the lion out from time to time! x
Alison says
Oh my goodness, I could have, in a much less eloquent way, written this post. I too am utterly fed up of the whinging, fighting, bickering and general ungratefulness of my kids at the moment. Every time this happens I do exactly as you do, roar a little, tidy a lot and have lots of ‘chats’ with the kids (and normally husband…!) . Thanks for a fab post.
Alison x
Maxabella says
Things getting better at your place, Alison? I hope so! I am mortaring the boundaries and saying ‘enough’ and it is WORKING!!! I feel like I’m back in charge. x
Alison says
I have been trying to keep them busy around the house with less time to annoy each other, a weekend in the garden making stuff with their Dad did the world of good. Husband is away next week so we will see how it goes then….!!
Karen Walk says
I love a good purge in the kids rooms when they’re not there to stop me binning junk. And it’s always “I want more more more”… I got so stressed in December (with both of their birthdays, plus Christmas) and they were getting so greedy, I did end up losing my temper quite spectacularly!
Maxabella says
Nice to meet you, Karen. Sometimes it just all gets on top of us, doesn’t it? When we feel overwhelmed by life in general it becomes all too easy to feel out of control in the motherhood. I’m glad you lost your temper – I think it’s important that our kids see us as human and hurting. x
colleen | hello olive designs says
Thank you for your honest post! It really helps knowing that I’m not the only one dealing with difficult days (or weeks)!
Maxabella says
Doesn’t it HELP! I feel so much better after I shared this. Just knowing that everyone seems to go through the same awkward feelings lifted my spirit no end. It’s not us, it’s kids! x