My mate was over on the weekend and we really get each other. He’s a confused night owl just like me.
“Why do early birds always assume I’m lazy?” he asked.
Hot dang! I’ve been wondering that exact same thing. We both agreed that we are sick to death of the early risers assuming that there is something wrong with us because we don’t like waking up at the crack of dawn. Matter of fact, if I actually had to get up at the crack of dawn, I’d rather stay up all night. I’d feel much more energetic than if I went to sleep and was woken when it was still dark and expected to pretend that it was morning.
As luck would have it, last week I was reading Potential Psychology and Ellen was talking about this exact thing. She tried to become a morning person because she heard that morning people get things done. It didn’t work for Ellen and I just know it wouldn’t work for me. I did the Morning Eveningness Questionnaire that Ellen linked to and discovered that I’m a ‘moderate evening’ person. I reckon if I didn’t have to get up with the children at 7.30 am each morning, that would very quickly become a ‘dedicated evening person’ (or whatever the top category is!).
I am naturally at my best in the evenings and I’ve learned over the years that there is no point trying to be a bright and sparky morning type. Even if I force myself to get up earlier, I get absolutely nothing done because I feel tired and deprived.
But back to the “early risers think we’re lazy” conundrum. Because I reckon Alex is right. Early birds really do seem to look down on us night owls and research seems determined to prove that being a morning person is somehow more productive.
I beg to differ. The way I’ve always seen it is that when all those chirpy early birds go to bed, then it’s my time to really get things done. In the late hours, there is nothing much going on to distract me. I’ve put a full day’s effort in already and anything else I can contribute after 10 pm is a bonus. Getting up early in the morning to get things done before the day gets started has always seemed like an oxymoron to me. Once you’re up, no matter what time it is, the day has already started and your to do list is in front of you. Fitting in extra things before your ‘to do’ list begins seems quite absurd to me. At night, the day is done and dusted and my time is my own.
Which got me thinking about my kids. Cappers is definitely a night owl like her mum, with Max and the Badoo falling more into the early bird bracket. I think a lot of night owls manifest as early birds in their young years because we insist on putting kids at a particular time. Left to their own devices (holidays perhaps?) when do your kids really get sleepy?
Mine actually rarely get ‘sleepy’ in the traditional sense. We are a very high-energy family and I’ve never witnessed any of my children fall asleep without a lot of coaxing. They were not the kids at dinner parties found snuggled under the table on a bed of coats, rather they were probably dancing on the tables above them.
But Cappers has proved herself a person who definitely peeks in the afternoon and into the evening. She is lucky to have a fellow owl and a ‘neutral’ (I swear Bart is both owl and lark) to parent her. My Dad is a total early bird who was not happy to find himself surrounded by owls. He insisted on getting us all up way earlier than any of us wanted to and had many techniques to make it happen (songs, dances, light flicking… he tried them all). We were dragged kicking and screaming out of bed to make it to school and pretty much scraped into school half asleep every single day. When the bell went at 3pm I was just starting to charge up ready for action…
All this leaves me wondering how natural night owl children fare at school. Much of society is set up for early birds, but school in particular. It’s been found that larks are happier in general because life’s ‘schedule’ favours their habits. So really, the entire deck of life is stacked against us owls, which is probably why most of us go along with the need to ‘convert’ to early bird habits. Try as much as you like, I’m certain it’s a conversion that will never really take…
Night owl or early bird, which are you? Your kids?
Come play!
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JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) says
I’ve come to the conclusion I’m both. I don’t like getting up early but I do because I get my exercise in, a bit of fiction writing or blogging and a hit of social media. I find if I sleep in, I just feel crap and like the day hasn’t started right. But that doesn’t mean I’m bright and chripy. I’m usually cranky till I’ve eaten (think Snickers ad).
Then come the other end of the day, when the kidlets are tucked up in bed, I get a second wind. I love this time for writing and blogging and being super productive. I find, if I can get 6-7 hours sleep, I’m right.
So to come to think of it, I think I’m definitely both – which means I’m just not a ‘middle of the day’ person. Explains a lot really!
As for the kids, they are a bit the same!
Maxabella says
Bart is definitely ‘both’. I think you are lucky to not need quite as much sleep as others. Good energy levels and the ability to see the good in both the mornings and the late nights. Lucky ducks! x
Jenni from Styling Curvy says
I’m an early bird living with 3 male night owls. My 20 year old works nights and is often arriving home when I get up. I like my quite solo mornings and they like their late night bonding.
Maxabella says
I think my husband gets up earlier than he ‘needs’ to because he seeks that quiet time. I think he would be very disappointed if the rest of us turned into larks. x
Helen K says
My preferred pattern would be something like being up until 11.30 pm and getting up at 8am. However, that doesn’t work with a family, and work, and commitments (that they have) that start earlier. I’ve realised that, much as I dislike it, I do function in most areas better, and the family does as well, if I get to bed earlier and get up earlier. My main struggle is carving out time for myself (which I really, really need) – especially as the kids get older – and time for Al and I. I tend to use the evenings for this, and the longer the kids take to get to sleep, the later my time becomes. And my brain does not switch on to anything that takes much thought early in the morning, much as I have tried. And I need to work out how to overcome this particular need, if I am really going to get up early.
Interestingly, my kids seem to follow each of us – my husband is someone who can get up whatever time, if he needs to (so has been operating at a 5.30am start, for a 7am work start, for years, but can quite comfortably sleep in if he doesn’t have to get up. My son is up at the crack of dawn still, but that’s his time to himself, reading, etc,). They are both good at the daytime sleeps too. My daughter, however, struggles to get out of bed, even though she is seven – she also tries to stay up later too (and like me, the bed needs to be made properly, she needs all her things beside the bed – she is a fussy sleeper!) xx
Maxabella says
“Fussy sleeper” is an interesting term, Helen. And I am pondering the idea that larks often are good at daytime sleeps – they nap well, whereas I don’t think night owls do. I certainly don’t! Unless I’m unwell I just cannot fall asleep in the daytime. I think with a family dynamic, we often do get up early or stay up later just to get that peaceful time to ourselves and we’ll work outside our own circadian rhythms to make that happen too!! x
Lauren @ The Thud says
I’m super lucky because my husband is a lark and is happy to get up and do the morning routine with my son while I sleep in. It means I’m often not out of bed until 8.30am. But I could easily stay awake until 2am getting shit done. I really hit my stride after 4pm and can be seriously productive all night long.
I had my honeymoon in Jamaica and I remember being told they start the school day at about 2pm because of the heat. They can be at school until 10pm. Maybe you need to move to Jamaica.
Maxabella says
What a jolly good idea, but it does sound so unbelievable, doesn’t it! A kid at school until 10pm? Whaaaaa? x
KezUnprepared says
Naturally, if allowed to live by my own rhythm, I’d be an early riser. Always was as a kid. Since the responsibilities of adulthood have caught up with me, I’m just tired all the time haha. I find some evenings, the convenience of having so much quiet and the Little Mister in bed can make me very productive and wide awake – especially with activities like blogging. Those occasions are always paid for the next day, unfortunately.
I think once the Little Mister is older and has more stamina he will probably be an early riser. Mr Unprepared just sleeps like a log whenever he feels like it. When we first started staying over with each other in the early days he said, if something ever goes wrong in the night (an intruder or fire etc) that I was to punch him awake really hard and not be afraid of hurting him. I laughed it off but now I really get it!!! I would literally have to. I think he has no set rhythm because he runs on pure adrenaline (he’s an overcommitted can’t sit still type) and exhausts himself.
Maxabella says
I’d love to be a ‘log’ sleeper, Kez. Your hub clearly exhausts himself on a daily basis to get there though. It’s interesting that we have the opposite pattern – I’m a night owl who gets up earlier than I’d like to be with the kids and you are an early bird who stays up later. Kids really do throw our rhythm off, don’t they!? x
Malinda @mybrownpaperpackages says
To be honest I have no idea which I am. I seem to have passed through both sides during my life so far and neither one fits just right. I like to think that given the chance (ha ha) that I would love to have a sleep in but once I get up and get going I’m pretty productive in the morning. But I get a lot done at night, probably out of necessity though I’m not sure, and I like what you said about it being the end of the day and the to do list is behind you and it is your time to do as you want. So after all that babbling, I don’t know which I am!
Maxabella says
You might be a neutral, Malinda. A lucky neutral! x
Kathy says
I don’t mind getting up early (but have to set the alarm in winter), although I never seem to get what I envisaged done! It is is good for meditation. I like it when I get my second wind at night and work productively, but often I will go to bed at 9.30pm and then wake up at 2am – sometimes I’ll type away for an hour or more and dump a lot down and then go back to bed. I don’t know what that makes me, other than confusing!
Maxabella says
That’s a really interesting approach, Kathy. I’ve never thought to get up in the middle of the night (when I am also awake), do some work and then go back in. Good strategy! x
Toni says
When I can, I’m perfectly happy staying up till 1 or 2 in the morning.
And no matter how much sleep I get, I am not really awake until about 10 am.
Hence my speccy to-school driving.
Maxabella says
I feel the same way! Day starts at 10 for me too, before that I’m just relying on routine. x
Tegan says
I’m an owl and my son is a ‘sleep is the work of the devil so I shall only partake in it under duress’. My Dad is a lark and I hated it when he would try to insist that everyone be up early, even on school holidays. 830am is not a sleep in! I also agree that it’s pointless to wake up with the sun if I’m going to spend 2 hours moping around trying to wake up any way.
Maxabella says
This is how I feel, Tegan. I get up at 8am and I hardly consider that lazing about all morning, but my larky mates do! But I will outlast them every time at night (this doesn’t seem to count). x
Kelly Exeter says
Well you know what I am!!
Maxabella says
I do! If it wasn’t for the time lag, I would never see you 😉 x
Raychael aka Mystery Case says
After years of being a night owl, I gave up coffee and oddly became a fully functioning morning person. I don’t think I was any more productive as a morning person and in the end, I love my coffee too much, so quickly went back to being a night owl. My current thyroid meds however, are playing havoc with my ability to actually sleep in the first place, so I’m more like a walking zombie at the moment surviving on 2 to 3 hours each night.
Maxabella says
Coffee really does affect some of us that much, Raych. Right now with your meds it sounds like you’re an early owl – not the best of situations. Not being able to sleep is torture so I really, really feel for you. I hope you get it all sorted soon. x
Rach says
I think not everyone who is an early bird is so by choice. If you don’t ‘have’ to get up until 7.30am, then you’re lucky!
We get up at 5.30am Sunday to Thursday. Guv starts work at 6.30am, I usually don’t work until 8ish and so don’t need to leave the house until just after 7am.
Even on a Friday and Saturday, we rarely sleep in past 6/6.30am because for 5 days of a 7 day week, our bodies are used to getting up at 5.30am. Studies have actually shown, that it’s better for you body to get up at or around the same time every day, be it a work day or a rest day.
I can stay up late and still wake up no later than 6/6.30 [again because of the time I get up the rest of the week]. I can go to bed early and again wake up around the same time, occasionally, I do sleep in past 7am but it’s very rare and when I do, I actually feel worse for it.
Early bird, night owl, I can’t say which I am because I only rise as early as I do because I have to and it’s been that way for at least 5+ yrs. If I didn’t have to rise early? If I could adjust my body clock? Maybe I’d sleep in later, maybe I wouldn’t.
I will say, I believe there are benefits to both early birds and night owls. The peace of the darkened night, as everyone else is settling down and going to sleep, you feel as if the world is just yours. Then there is the early morning, seeing the day dawn, hearing the birds chirp and knowing that a new day, with a blank page, is here for the taking – there’s just something gosh darn amazing about it.
For the record, I don’t think night owls are lazy at all, I just think that they’re wired differently, we all are. Some of us function better into the night, others first thing in the morning, neither is wrong and we do what’s best for us 🙂
x
Maxabella says
We do what we have to do, there is no getting away from that. I DO consider myself lucky that I don’t need to get up earlier than 7.30 am. This was definitely not always the case (I greeted the dawn with my children for many, many years). If I had my way I’d probably get out of bed between 8.30 and 9 and stay up until 1 or 2 each night. x
Shannon@ my2morrows says
Given its 11:46pm no need to tell you which I am!
I did become a morning person for about a year when I did boot camp 3 mornings per week. It was pre kids and pre wedding so that was my motivation. These days… Evenings are MY time and i love the quiet. It’s candle time, cuppa tea time and usually blog and/ or reading time. My boss is a 5am riser and she can’t understand why none of her team are keen for 730 breakfast meetings! Xx
Maxabella says
I had a boss just like that! I honestly can’t go ANYWHERE before 7.30 am. I wouldn’t make her meetings. She kinda got it (but not really). I have a theory that ‘readers’ tend to be night owls more than early birds… those wee small hours are just so perfect for reading, aren’t they?
Tash @ Gift Grapevine says
Definite night owl here! I have tried hard to become a morning person as I keep hearing and reading that it’s better for me and I’ll be healthier and more productive, but mornings and I just don’t work. I’m simply a bad mood bear in the mornings and you’re lucky to get a grunt out of me in the first hour. Night time is my time and I get a second wind around 10pm. It’s rare for me to get to bed before midnight. I have one tornado who is an early bird and one who is a night owl like me. Luckily Handy Hubby is more of a morning person so he’ll be up with Mr TT. Regardless, my mid morning coffee is a welcome friend every day!
Maxabella says
I read the literature too and I fought against my night owl habits for years, Tash. But now it just makes no sense to me to read about ‘productivity’ of early birds when I am simply just not one. I am NOT a productive person in the morning, whether I rise at 5am or 8am or 10am. There is no changing that so it seems silly to fight it. I embrace my owl and I am working hard to make my owl as productive as she can be. x
Erin says
I’m the same as Bart, I can be either. David is a night owl, even his boss says, “your body is here but your mind really isn;t until after 10am” Most of our children are night owls too.
Just came across Gretchen Rubin’s writings on Habits, think you would really enjoy what she has to say, why some people are motivated by certain things and not others etc. She even has a test on the site to see what habit category you fall into. Anyhow something I know you’d love to mull and nut over:) {{}}
http://gretchenrubin.com/
Maxabella says
Thank you so much for that link, Erin. I do follow Gretchen but haven’t been over for a while. I did the habit test and am confirmed as an ‘obliger’ (which is no surprise) – a person who holds herself to task for others but will not do a single damn thing for herself. I’ll be looking forward to Gretchen’s advice on fixing that!
x
Corinne says
I’m not really sure what I am, as I love going to bed early and I love sleeping in! I guess I just love sleep! Although I definitely lean more to the lark than the owl.
I recently stayed with a good friend (who is a night owl) and she was shocked at how early I wanted to go to bed (actually I was staying up late for me),it bothered her so much that it started to bother me. She (and her family and friends) called me ‘old’ and ‘strange’.
Two of my kids are definitely larks (and the eldest shows no sign of changing, even at 9 years old), so I’m kinda forced to face the day early.
I have to say I have grown to love early mornings, I love the freshness and the calm and the cool before the rest of world gets going. At the moment, living in the desert in the height of summer it’s kind of necessary to get up early and go for a swim before it gets too hot and any chance of physical activity goes out the 45 degree window. Also, when my kids are at school their school day begins at 7.30am so we have to be up at 6am every day anyway.
I have to say I’m jealous of night owls who can be productive at night, I can’t manage more than a book or telly show before drifting off my brain just doesn’t function well at night… I’ve never thought of night owls as lazy.
Vicki @ Boiled Eggs & Soldiers says
I hit my stride in the afternoon and power on through the evening which makes mornings bleary eyed and completely un-functioning without coffee! I think prekids I burned the candle at both ends but can no longer remember! I’ve got one early bird, one night owl and the husband is neutral but is obsessed with afternoon sleeps on the weekends much to the rest of our irritation!!!!
Collette Beck says
Sadly, neither. I love to sleep in, but hit the wall early. I’m ready for bed now, actually. But if I had to choose I prefer to sleep in than go to bed early. I’ve been trying to get up early as I’ve taken to writing morning pages so I try to do them before the kids wake up. So I get up at 6 (struggle) but afterwards I’m always glad I’ve done it. So I’m not really sure.
Kristy @ Loulou Zoo says
Oh geez I don’t even know the answer to that question anymore. I used to be a definite early bird and always felt better getting out of bed quite early and exercising before starting the day.
Then enter my girls and…well things changed! Now I find in the evening hours is when I have quiet time to get things done – and know that you really will get them done, not think you will but get caught up in the day and they never happen!
But if I had my way, the morning is when I feel like I’m functioning at my best and am most productive…maybe I’ll get back to that in a few years!
x
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
I’m an early bird. Up at 5.00am most days to get things done. But I truly admire those that can stay up at night … and those that can sleep in. Especially on a weekend. A sleep in for me is 7.00am, and even if I do manage to stay up past 9.30pm I still wake up before dawn. As you can imagine, I’m a really boring party person …
Julie says
My father gets up every day about 4;30 and goes for a walk. But is in bed early. I stay up every night way way too late, yet like to sleep in until 7;30. He always tells me how I am lazy and must get noting done. Yet those late night hours when everyone is asleep is when I get most of my sewing done. When I feel most creative.