I’ve written before about the remarkable resilience of my son. He’s the kid who always gives things a go and I am incredibly proud of his grit and willingness to put himself out there. It is one thing to go in the race when you are the kid who has a chance of coming first and quite another when you have no chance of winning at all (we salute you, Steven Bradbury).
I had this very conversation with a man on a plane once upon a time. He was travelling to Athens to meet up with his son who was competing in the Olympic Games. I remarked at how amazing I have always found elite athletes – their dedication, skills and determination to win. This man replied, “This is true. But to me there is something even more remarkable about the people who ran in all the races that my son ever ran in and never, not once, achieved a place. Yet every week they were back again to give it another go. It takes a certain kind of courage to keep on going even when it’s harder for you than it is for other people.”
Last year Max told me about a conversation he had had with one of the teachers at his school (his teacher this year, as it turns out). He had just competed in the 800m run (Max likes to go in every race he can) and he was lapped by all the other boys. He plodded on, received his hand clap home (our school is very nice like that) and was in recovery mode when Mrs B came over to congratulate him.
“A fine job, Max,” she said enthusiastically. “You should be proud of yourself today.”
“I got lapped,” Max puffed. “I always get lapped. There’s such a big gap between me and the other boys.”
“That’s actually not true,” Mrs B replied. “Because you’re forgetting something very, very important. See, when you run or swim in school races, it might look like there’s a big gap between you and the other boys, but there’s not.”
“How is a lap not a big gap?” Max asked incredulously.
“Well, what you’ve got to do when you run or swim, Max, is picture all the kids who could be out there, not just the ones who are. All the kids who are sitting on the sidelines watching the race, they are the kids who fill that gap. The only reason the gap is there, is because those kids don’t even have the confidence to go in the race in the first place.”
“So the gap isn’t that big?”
“There is no gap at all, Max. Just the shadows of the kids who are afraid to try. Remember to look for those shadows when you run – chase them down as you go.”
That’s the truth about losing: the only losers are the people who never try.
Do you let the gap stop you from trying?
Zoe Meunier says
What a beautiful story Bron. What an amazing son, what an awesome teacher and what a great lesson. It kind of reflects a bit how I’m feeling about blogging at the moment, reading all these fabulous posts while struggling with the time, inspiration and, indeed, inclination to come up with one myself. Think I just need to focus more on running my own race, however slow and sporadic it might be!
Corinne says
Your Max sounds like my Lily. She’ll give anything a go and her courage amazes me. I hope Max & Lily stay this way, because they’ll be the real winners in life, never wondering “what if…”
Sam Stone says
Bless Mrs B. I love this!
I used to let the gap stop me….not so much these days though.
Kelly Exeter says
Oh how I love this!
Trish says
Remarkably profound. What a fantastic teacher to have. How incredible is Max !
Lisa says
Oh, this made me so teary. I love Mrs B and will be sharing her message with my boys x
JF Gibson says
This brought a tear to my eye Bron. Good on you Max! And what a wonderful teacher he has..
Renee Mihulka says
Love this. We all need to remember to keep chasing those shadows!
Erin says
Well done Max, it does take tenacity and our kids certainly surprise us. For years my oldest two were on a soccer team that always lost, they knew that going in but it never let them lose their love of playing.
For me it was a little disappointing as they were actually good players, but continue to play they did, even now as adults, actually when my son was chosen to play for his College team and his College won the tournament for the first time ever, that was sweet.
But yes kids like Max, and another child of mine who never wins, she’d be with Max whilst her siblings run like the wind, they amaze and encourage and challenge me.
And what an absolutely brilliant teacher!! Incredible thoughts and Max is going to have a great year with her!!
Alicia Dunnachie says
Hooray for Mrs B & all the teachers like her – may they touch the lives of our children where there gentle insights.
Hooray for your boy! I hope I can I instill some of his spirit in my own little ones.
Julie says
Another teacher who deserves a pay rise! Great story to keep repeating
Emily says
Brilliant post. And hooray – sounds like you’ve hit the teacher jackpot this year. x
Jo @ CountryLifeExperiment says
I just got my 11 year old to read this. She was nervous because she is the slowest of the four kids in her swimming relay team (school swimming carnival tomorrow), and is worried that she will let them down. It was the start of a good conversation.
Jess says
I loved this post – so wish more kids would just ‘have a go’ – there is so much to gain from having a go – pride at finishing and achieving, fun, comradiere, team building etc, etc. Good on you Max and big hug for the teacher too!
Ashlea @ Glamour Coastal Living says
So glad you could share this – what a wonderful school, teacher and community your son is growing up in. How lucky! This is one lots of parents should read! x
sarah@Tomfo says
I love it… I’m so going to have to steal that one it is priceless,
my little guy is all about winning, thank you for some wisdom to pass on xxx Happy weekend lovely lady
Reannon says
The world needs more teachers, more humans, who think like that teacher. How amazing! And how wonderful that your boy just keeps trying. I hope he never loses that spirit.
Tash @ Gift Grapevine says
Mrs B sounds wonderful – let’s hope there’s more teachers like her out there! I love Max’s give-it-a-go attitude. You should be super proud Bron xx
Amy @ HandbagMafia says
Oh, chills and goosebumps- what a fabulous teacher and a fabulous son you have!
Kathy says
Well done Max and what a wise teacher (and mother) you have. It sounds like Max is in a great school to let his courage and resilience shine. Lovely post Bron.
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
Max will always know he tried, and never wonder what could have been. Such a fabulous trait to carry through life, Bron.
Teachers like Mrs. B are treasures, aren’t they? x
Lisa says
Aww, I might have a little something in the corner of my eye, sniff, sniff. What a great life lesson x
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
I think there’s a lesson in this for Max, and for all of us. That teacher is a true treasure!
Renee Wilson says
What a great story and such a motivational and inspirational teacher. I do let the gaps in the way, but I’m working on it 🙂
Ally says
Hello Bron – I am an occasional lurker and now first-time commenter on your lovely blog.
This gem from Mrs B reminds me of some advice from my mum last year. I was preparing for a race and feeling very disheartened. (As any fellow shuffler knows there are always faster runners). She said to me “you need to stop focussing on all of the faster people ahead of you, and remember all of the people still in bed or sitting on the lounge not doing anything. At least you’re in the race!”
True that. Thanks to the wise people out there like Mrs B and my mum. Hope your boy keeps on keeping on.
Mandy @ Barbie Bieber and Beyond says
What a great story Bron and what a wonderful teacher. I was watching the “noughts” documentary last night and they showed Steven Bradbury. Just goes to show that you have to be in it to win it. Once you are there anything can happen.
Maxabella says
I must watch that doco! x